• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.


  1. Administration

    1. Welcome to the Grandparents.com Community!

      The FAQ & some ground rules so everyone can have a fun, safe, and productive experience.

  2. Family Matters

    1. Empty Nest No Longer

      With the stressed economy, and for other reasons too, many parents are finding that their adult children are needing to come back to the elders' homes. Others are dealing with custody issues of grandchildren and children divorcing and needing help. If this is something you're experiencing, come share and give and get support from other in the same boat.

    2. Grandparents Unplugged

      This is a place for grandparents to ask questions or make statements and receive answers and replies from a variety of people. Posters on this board are other grandparents, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law and those who want to gain a greater understanding of how the 'other folks' feel. You can share what's on your mind, but understand that it's not just grandparents in the room most of the time. I hope that ALL can share their thoughts, feelings, questions and answers without rancor or hatefulness.
      LEAD MODERATORS: Mame925

    3. Grandparents without Grandchildren

      This group is created for grandparents living without their grandchildren. Maybe you have been denied visitation, or maybe you are ill and your child wants to keep your grandchildren away from that reality. Whatever the reason, you suffer great loss and this group is intended for you to share with others in similar situations your pain, insights and frustrations. It's a place to get emotional or informational support or give it to others.

    4. Mothers-in-Law Anonymous

      Dish, vent or ask for advice about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
      LEAD MODERATORS: RoseRed135, SueSTx, Lilypond, PhalenMum

  3. Food

    1. Grandma's Pantry

      Share your favorite recipes and food ideas, and invite others to join in the discussion. Let's get cooking!

  4. Grandparenting

    1. Grandparenting From Afar

      They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to discuss everything grandparenting and topics specific to staying in touch from afar.

    2. Grandparents Caring for Grandkids

      Are you a grandparent (or other relative) caregiver? A parent who relies on family daycare? Whether you're raising your grand(relative)kids, helping to raise them or watching them while the parents go to work or school - or a parent dealing with one of these situations - please come in and share your needs and concerns with us. And if you're anyone else who has ideas and opinions on this topic, please come and join us, as well. Together, let's explore the (often unique) ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and challenges of the GP/relative caregiving situation!
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. New Grandparents

      This group is for new grandparents to share and learn from each about the new experience of grandparenting. Experienced grandparents feel free to join and offer your comments. What are you enjoying the most? What are your concerns? How do you give advice without it being taken the wrong way? How do you feel about babysitting? We can't wait to see your comments.

  5. Health & Wellness

    1. 50 Shades of Blue

      This group is for anyone who is now, or has ever, struggled with depression or any other mental health or illness problem, even if it's just a bad case of the blues. It's a safe place to seek or offer support.

    2. Getting Healthy

      Ask questions and share your health experiences with other members. What works for you when it comes to wellness?

  6. Hobbies

    1. Hobby Corner

      Have a passion project? Whether you're crafting, knitting or making soap and candles, this is the place to talk about it! Share your stories, photos and more with fellow hobbyists.

  7. Just For Fun

    1. General Gabbery

      It's not complicated. This Group is a place to sit and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze. Let's solve world problems, tell jokes and stories, post pictures and brag on our kids and grandkids. Got something on your mind? Post it we'll talk about it.

    2. Club Newcomer

      This is a place for newcomers to introduce themselves and learn more about the various features of the site, especially the different Groups available. It's also a place for current members to come in and help welcome the new ones and help them find their niche(s) among the forums.
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. The Great Debate

      Whether it's formula feeding vs. breast feeding, daycare vs. nanny, or spanking vs. time out, everyone has their opinion. This board is where you can state your piece on hot topics.


    4. Book Club

      Share what you're currently reading and what's on your book shelf with other grandparents.

    5. News & Issues

      Current news and events -- talk about them here.

  8. Love & Relationships

    1. All SINGLE golden girls & guys wanted

      Single grandparenting: WHAT A CHALLENGE and WHAT FUN! We are here for each other.
      LEAD MODERATOR: homeygfunk

  • Are you a grandparent?   357 votes

    1. 1. Are you a grandparent?

      • I'm a grandparent
      • I'm not a grandparent, but I am a parent (SIL/DIL)
      • Neither -- just here to browse

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic
  • New Threads

  • Recent Posts

    • RoseRed135
      Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur
      I know the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) is coming up soon, w/ Yom Kippur not far behind. Wishing the best to all our members who celebrate those 2 holidays!
    • PinkRedYellow
      I think Imp gets that $1000. Brit seems to think the fact they have always done them separate won't stop the faaaaair this time.    I agree with Skatie, since you offered to text and invite, I would relay the response. It's not really on you to diffuse the situation, but SIL getting another invite from her MIL after already letting her SIL know exactly why they weren't coming might escalate the situation. In the future, I wouldn't put myself in the position of go-between. Did you offer to invite them because you thought there might be lingering tension? If the host feels awkward inviting someone, it's a sign that maybe they shouldn't be hosting that person, KWIW? Based on your SIL's response, there have been other issues as well. Your parents know this and shouldn't really be that surprised. If you feel you should host them because they have too much going on with the cancer scare, mourning and whatever else - then do it. But don't do it just because you feel guilty for suggesting your parents host your & your DB's families for Thanksgiving. Wasn't that kind of the plan for this year already?
    • skipped
      Brit has a history of alternating holidays.  It doesn't sound to me like they ever had both families present at the same  time.  So in her case I agree with  Patty for a change.  They've always had one family Thanksgivings, why would it change now? Sorry about the quote. I think you just lost $1000
    • RoseRed135
      Hmmm... I can't imagine ever having DM over for a holiday w/o inviting DH's parents, too. It wouldn't have felt fair to me.  And besides, DH wouldn't have stood for it. Not just b/c his parents might/probably would have been offended if they knew (though they wouldn't have to know, of course), but even more so b/c he, himself, would have felt his parents should be included in celebrations in our home if my DM was. Goose/gander and all that. But I agree w/ Cupcake that it's different in this situation, @britomart b/c, as you say, it's "(your) FOO's year." It shouldn't matter, then, IMO, if they host you or you host them.... DH might not agree, of course... ETA: @britomart - Sorry for the loss of your MGF. And sorry your dad is dealing w/ a cancer scare. My heart is w/ you and yours...
    • SheWhoIsFiesty
      S/O of "is this behavior common...?" - "Respect" - What does it mean in parent/GP or MIL/DIL, etc. relations?
      I should clarify, because I was NOT 100% clear. I didn't meant that YOU were a doormat. I blurred my words a little from directly responding to you, to talking generally about the "wear beige" & similar issues. I have a problem with people who say that "I'm forced to wear beige! I hate it and I'm miserable." and do nothing about it. Even if someone was putting a gun to your head, you have a choice about "wearing beige." (And royal YOU at this point, not YOU) 
      No adult, not inlaws, not parents, NOT ACs, have the right to tell anyone how to live their life. At somepoint, a person has to decide if meeting all the boundaries, rules & restrictions of another adult (which is sometimes wearing beige) is worth it. I decided that playing by my MILs rules were no longer acceptable to me or for my family. Her benefit did not make up for the nightmare of dealing with her. She decided that meeting my boundaries wasn't worth the relationship with my family (including her son & our kids). While I don't agree with her choice, I respect that she is an adult and I can't MAKE her do anything. I have decided that what I had to do to maintain a relationship with a different person was worth the boundaries/steps/hoops.  I refuse to wear beige and sit back on the sidelines of my own life to make someone else happy. and I will not ask someone to put on beige to stay in my life. 

      And one thing to consider, people who deman others "wear beige" in life, are generally more of a problem. They don't respect another adults authority over their own life. They think they're super special snowflakes and have the right to demand things of other people. Not always, but maybe a majority? Sometimes it can be situational (a bridezilla who is normally an absolute dear but is caught up in the overwhelming planning and is trying to maintain control from her mom/mil). 

      I hope that made sense. I'm tired and just wanted to respond because I didn't want you to think I was calling YOU a doormat!
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