• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.


  1. Administration

    1. Welcome to the Grandparents.com Community!

      The FAQ & some ground rules so everyone can have a fun, safe, and productive experience.

  2. Family Matters

    1. Empty Nest No Longer

      With the stressed economy, and for other reasons too, many parents are finding that their adult children are needing to come back to the elders' homes. Others are dealing with custody issues of grandchildren and children divorcing and needing help. If this is something you're experiencing, come share and give and get support from other in the same boat.

    2. Grandparents Unplugged

      This is a place for grandparents to ask questions or make statements and receive answers and replies from a variety of people. Posters on this board are other grandparents, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law and those who want to gain a greater understanding of how the 'other folks' feel. You can share what's on your mind, but understand that it's not just grandparents in the room most of the time. I hope that ALL can share their thoughts, feelings, questions and answers without rancor or hatefulness.
      LEAD MODERATORS: Mame925

    3. Grandparents without Grandchildren

      This group is created for grandparents living without their grandchildren. Maybe you have been denied visitation, or maybe you are ill and your child wants to keep your grandchildren away from that reality. Whatever the reason, you suffer great loss and this group is intended for you to share with others in similar situations your pain, insights and frustrations. It's a place to get emotional or informational support or give it to others.

    4. Mothers-in-Law Anonymous

      Dish, vent or ask for advice about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
      LEAD MODERATORS: RoseRed135, SueSTx, Lilypond, PhalenMum

  3. Food

    1. Grandma's Pantry

      Share your favorite recipes and food ideas, and invite others to join in the discussion. Let's get cooking!

  4. Grandparenting

    1. Grandparenting From Afar

      They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to discuss everything grandparenting and topics specific to staying in touch from afar.

    2. Grandparents Caring for Grandkids

      Are you a grandparent (or other relative) caregiver? A parent who relies on family daycare? Whether you're raising your grand(relative)kids, helping to raise them or watching them while the parents go to work or school - or a parent dealing with one of these situations - please come in and share your needs and concerns with us. And if you're anyone else who has ideas and opinions on this topic, please come and join us, as well. Together, let's explore the (often unique) ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and challenges of the GP/relative caregiving situation!
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. New Grandparents

      This group is for new grandparents to share and learn from each about the new experience of grandparenting. Experienced grandparents feel free to join and offer your comments. What are you enjoying the most? What are your concerns? How do you give advice without it being taken the wrong way? How do you feel about babysitting? We can't wait to see your comments.

  5. Health & Wellness

    1. 50 Shades of Blue

      This group is for anyone who is now, or has ever, struggled with depression or any other mental health or illness problem, even if it's just a bad case of the blues. It's a safe place to seek or offer support.

    2. Getting Healthy

      Ask questions and share your health experiences with other members. What works for you when it comes to wellness?

  6. Hobbies

    1. Hobby Corner

      Have a passion project? Whether you're crafting, knitting or making soap and candles, this is the place to talk about it! Share your stories, photos and more with fellow hobbyists.

  7. Just For Fun

    1. General Gabbery

      It's not complicated. This Group is a place to sit and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze. Let's solve world problemsgrumble with the grouch we live with, tell jokes and stories, post pictures and brag on our kids and grandkids. Got something on your mind? Post it we'll talk about it.

    2. Club Newcomer

      This is a place for newcomers to introduce themselves and learn more about the various features of the site, especially the different Groups available. It's also a place for current members to come in and help welcome the new ones and help them find their niche(s) among the forums.
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. The Great Debate

      Whether it's formula feeding vs. breast feeding, daycare vs. nanny, or spanking vs. time out, everyone has their opinion. This board is where you can state your piece on hot topics.


    4. Book Club

      Share what you're currently reading and what's on your book shelf with other grandparents.

    5. News & Issues

      Current news and events -- talk about them here.

  8. Love & Relationships

    1. All SINGLE golden girls & guys wanted

      Single grandparenting: WHAT A CHALLENGE and WHAT FUN! We are here for each other.
      LEAD MODERATOR: homeygfunk

  • Are you a grandparent?   653 votes

    1. 1. Are you a grandparent?

      • I'm a grandparent
      • I'm not a grandparent, but I am a parent (SIL/DIL)
      • Neither -- just here to browse

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic
  • New Threads

  • Recent Posts

    • Komorebi
      Vent! Vent! Vent!
      I've heard this story time and again, and each time someone tells their version of it I've such a difficult time believing it .. and yet, it happens .. So many vacations bought and paid for nothing but tons of tension and turmoil .. Why anyone accepts to go that's not on board with the plans offered boggles my mind- Totally looking a gift horse in the mouth .. and then some .. sorry this happened to you folks .. serious bummer ..
    • Lovesarisoomuch
      Family Dynamics
      Yes I was living with the father and grandparents when CPS was called. There were allegations of abuse and neglect but they were unsubstantiated. I got a letter clearing me of those things after the agreement was made and my daughter was safe and healthy and well bonded and cared for. I was using pot to help with my mental issues and lack of sleep. At the time I was not but so mentally stable because the doctors insisted that I was bipolar even though I have never ever felt manic. Being treated for the wrong mental illness is worse than not being treated. CPS claimed that I was self harming but that was proven to be untrue as well. Now I know that I have borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and severe reoccurring depressive disorder without psychotic features. I was never a danger and am now well treated and completely mentally stable. The thing that took the longest was finding a place to live with a room for her when I could barely afford a room for me with roommates. Don't get me wrong I am very grateful that there was someone there to take care of her when I was not as capable as possible. The things that bother me are that this plan was signed before CPS looked into any of the other things for that I was cleared for without prejudice. Also no matter how much I continued to ask to see her more and how well I am doing now I am still denied as much access to her as Nonna possibly can. In fact the better I am able to prove I am doing the worse it gets as to where now that I have a place with a room for her, she is scheduling things during my allowed time with her and refusing to make up the time even though the guardian ad litum said she has to. You are right I am going to have to go through the courts. But my daughter has an attachment disorder from the trauma of losing her father and I and ADHD and is extremely adverse to change. I was hoping to very slowly transition her back into my care by adding an hour here, two hours there sort of thing and I am extremely worried it will add to the trauma if things are changed abruptly. I guess I am wanting advice on how to work with Nonna to make things as smooth for her as possible and also what to tell her about the family dynamics. I would not ever want her to think that it was my choice to leave her but I also don't want her to know that though Nonna has the choice she simply will not let her see me more often. She loves and needs her Nonna and that has been a stable relationship for her. Ahhh so complicated!!
    • LimberlostGirl
      Vent! Vent! Vent!
      My SS is a selfish, controlling, self-centered, self-entitled, ungrateful, supreme sexist jerk and he ruined the family beach vacation.  I booked the 3b/3ba condo 6 months ago after confirming with DIL. They had a large bedroom with two full beds and a sofa sleeper in the living room. DD and GS the small bedroom with a queen bed. SS/family arrived first. He called to tell me that we may not want the master bedroom because it was connected to the balcony and I am afraid of heights and DH may get drunk and fall over. I told him it would be fine.  When DH, DD, GS and I arrived, SS wanted DD/GS room. I said no and he said my arrangements were stupid. DD volunteered to give up her room to keep the peace. It kinda snowballed from there. They were all our guests and we paid for everything except fuel for their cars.      
    • SueSTx
      Family Dynamics
      Loves...(((hugs)))...I can't imagine the pain of having a child removed from my care by CPS. Do I understand correctly that you and your daughter were living with the father at the paternal grandmothers when someone reported you to CPS?  You say you were smoking pot, were you neglecting care for your daughter while under the influence? or was the grandmother caring for the child?  Does your disability prevent you from being the sole support of your daughter? Anyway, my understand is that if a child is removed by CPs, only CPS can return that child to the parent?  Have you tried that?
    • Lovesarisoomuch
      Family Dynamics
      Loads. CPS took my daughter from me because I was smoking pot. There were allegations of abuse and neglect that were unfounded but CPS claimed that if I didn't make an agreement with the paternal grandmother that my little girl would be put in foster care and I would not be able to see her anymore. As soon as the agreement was made I was kicked out of their house where I was living with the father (by the GPs). One of the points of agreement was that I could get full custody back when I had a safe environment with a room for my daughter. I am on disability and this part has been impossible until now when I finally found a rent to own place. I have always remained in my daughter's life as much as the courts and GPs will let me. I have never failed another drug test and take them weekly. It has now been almost 3 and a half years later and the grandmother does whatever she can to keep me out of my daughters life. She even insists that my daughter call her mommy. It has confused my daughter so much that she asked my mother if she was going to be her mommy for the weekend when she took her camping. She asked if her Nonna was both of ours mom. She asked if her Nonna was going to take her away from me if I didn't do exactly what she said. It seems to me that there is much distress and confusion going on in that area, but when I tried to bring it up with my daughter's therapist she said she didn't see a problem with those things. She also referred to our situation as a foster care situation even though I see her at bare minimum 8 hours a week and take her to school and appointments and come by to see her as often as the GPs will let me which some weeks is 2 other days and some weeks not at all. I don't know how to explain this dynamic to my daughter, it's hard to even understand myself. I don't know how to co parent with her grandmother. Now that I have all my ducks in a row I don't know how to safely and securely get care transferred back to me, upsetting her as little as possible. I have told her grandmother (Nonna) how much I appreciate someone like her being there for my daughter. I have told Nonna how important their relationship is to both her and I and that I would never try to push her out of my daughters life. But it seems like no matter what I say to her she irrationally believes that I am just going to take her away. The better I am doing the stronger Nonnas choke hold is on my daughter. If anyone can offer any suggestions on how I should deal with these things they are much welcomed. HELP!!!!!
  • Blog Entries

  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • Lovesarisoomuch