• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.


  1. Administration

    1. Welcome to the Grandparents.com Community!

      The FAQ & some ground rules so everyone can have a fun, safe, and productive experience.

  2. Family Matters

    1. Empty Nest No Longer

      With the stressed economy, and for other reasons too, many parents are finding that their adult children are needing to come back to the elders' homes. Others are dealing with custody issues of grandchildren and children divorcing and needing help. If this is something you're experiencing, come share and give and get support from other in the same boat.

    2. Grandparents Unplugged

      This is a place for grandparents to ask questions or make statements and receive answers and replies from a variety of people. Posters on this board are other grandparents, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law and those who want to gain a greater understanding of how the 'other folks' feel. You can share what's on your mind, but understand that it's not just grandparents in the room most of the time. I hope that ALL can share their thoughts, feelings, questions and answers without rancor or hatefulness.
      LEAD MODERATORS: Mame925

    3. Grandparents without Grandchildren

      This group is created for grandparents living without their grandchildren. Maybe you have been denied visitation, or maybe you are ill and your child wants to keep your grandchildren away from that reality. Whatever the reason, you suffer great loss and this group is intended for you to share with others in similar situations your pain, insights and frustrations. It's a place to get emotional or informational support or give it to others.

    4. Mothers-in-Law Anonymous

      Dish, vent or ask for advice about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
      LEAD MODERATORS: RoseRed135, SueSTx, Lilypond, PhalenMum

  3. Food

    1. Grandma's Pantry

      Share your favorite recipes and food ideas, and invite others to join in the discussion. Let's get cooking!

  4. Grandparenting

    1. Grandparenting From Afar

      They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to discuss everything grandparenting and topics specific to staying in touch from afar.

    2. Grandparents Caring for Grandkids

      Are you a grandparent (or other relative) caregiver? A parent who relies on family daycare? Whether you're raising your grand(relative)kids, helping to raise them or watching them while the parents go to work or school - or a parent dealing with one of these situations - please come in and share your needs and concerns with us. And if you're anyone else who has ideas and opinions on this topic, please come and join us, as well. Together, let's explore the (often unique) ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and challenges of the GP/relative caregiving situation!
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. New Grandparents

      This group is for new grandparents to share and learn from each about the new experience of grandparenting. Experienced grandparents feel free to join and offer your comments. What are you enjoying the most? What are your concerns? How do you give advice without it being taken the wrong way? How do you feel about babysitting? We can't wait to see your comments.

  5. Health & Wellness

    1. 50 Shades of Blue

      This group is for anyone who is now, or has ever, struggled with depression or any other mental health or illness problem, even if it's just a bad case of the blues. It's a safe place to seek or offer support.

    2. Getting Healthy

      Ask questions and share your health experiences with other members. What works for you when it comes to wellness?

  6. Hobbies

    1. Hobby Corner

      Have a passion project? Whether you're crafting, knitting or making soap and candles, this is the place to talk about it! Share your stories, photos and more with fellow hobbyists.

  7. Just For Fun

    1. General Gabbery

      It's not complicated. This Group is a place to sit and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze. Let's solve world problemsgrumble with the grouch we live with, tell jokes and stories, post pictures and brag on our kids and grandkids. Got something on your mind? Post it we'll talk about it.

    2. Club Newcomer

      This is a place for newcomers to introduce themselves and learn more about the various features of the site, especially the different Groups available. It's also a place for current members to come in and help welcome the new ones and help them find their niche(s) among the forums.
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. The Great Debate

      Whether it's formula feeding vs. breast feeding, daycare vs. nanny, or spanking vs. time out, everyone has their opinion. This board is where you can state your piece on hot topics.


    4. Book Club

      Share what you're currently reading and what's on your book shelf with other grandparents.

    5. News & Issues

      Current news and events -- talk about them here.

  8. Love & Relationships

    1. All SINGLE golden girls & guys wanted

      Single grandparenting: WHAT A CHALLENGE and WHAT FUN! We are here for each other.
      LEAD MODERATOR: homeygfunk

  • Are you a grandparent?   585 votes

    1. 1. Are you a grandparent?

      • I'm a grandparent
      • I'm not a grandparent, but I am a parent (SIL/DIL)
      • Neither -- just here to browse

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic
  • New Threads

  • Recent Posts

    • Annika
      Here we go again
      I can't believe a parent would have to fret over something like this. What rights can they possibly have (if the parents are good parents and not junkies)... I can't believe you have to lose your time and tranquility worrying about something like this. 
    • Parenting3
      Here we go again
      Thank you, Knovel. I agree with you, it feels like a violation of trust. I'm not sure if DH will ever be done. PILs actually taking us to court would do it,  but outside of that, I'm not sure if he will ever be comfortable with NC, not permanently at least. He is reluctant to have a relationship with them on his own partly because he is unhappy about their behaviour, and he doesn't want this to divide our family in any way. If he did see them on his own, he knows they would badger him about the same issues, and also start pressuring him to bring the kids for visits. He feels like it has to be worked out (somehow) before he moves forward with them.
    • Annika
      MIL says I'm disrespectful
      I'm a DIL and I sometimes miss the "old" family model, too. However, not all MILs are the same and it may not work for everyone. My MIL was all over us when our baby was born, she was calling incessantly asking to come over and "help" but it was so much about her own gratification that it never occurred to her that what I needed the most were simple things. What you mention - cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, shopping - all that is below her. She would have DH or FIL cook or take us out to a restaurant instead. But the truth is - going to a restaurant with a little baby is no fun for the DIL (even though it feels great for the GPs). For instance, in the beginning I really could've used some hot meals, I was up with the baby all the time during the first 3 months, exhausted, and what I had was family members just asking more things from me. What my ILS brought me the first time the baby was born, were flowers, a card and some cake (very nice Whole foods cake), and I was grateful, of course, but a few dinners or pizzas would've been better (it would have cost the same!). My MIL was a highly paid career woman, a type A personality, and I just can't picture her cleaning our place. It may not be what I prefer but she doesn't even think in those terms. What happened was her visits actually created more work for me because I had to clean extra hard before the ILS visits (since I want the place to be nice when guests come). When I compare her to my mom's MIL (my paternal grandma), I can't imagine two more different attitudes. Granted, my mom had issues with her MIL too, but my grandma did everything, cleaned, cooked, watched us while my mother was gone for weeks, etc. This other MIL is very different - she wants access to the GK, but only on her terms. She doesn't want to serve, but wants to be served. Yes, they will take us out for meals, but they enjoyed that just as much and I wouldn't say that is a necessity. Also, she couldn't handle the baby for too long when he was screaming.  Not all MILs want to do all the things you list above, in fact, my experience has been that they'd rather just do the fun stuff,  leave us with the hard stuff, travel, do their stuff, but still demand regular access and want to do things their way, sort of. 
    • Parenting3
      Here we go again
      You're exactly right, things got to the point where I talked to DS1 about mom and dad being in charge. After MIL told him she was coming to his school anyway, and I might have addressed it before that, when she undermined or asked the kids permission instead of ours.    
    • Parenting3
      Here we go again
      I already felt like it was broken for me at this point. They crossed so many lines. It started when MIL asked DS1 if she could come see him (not me) at school, and when I expressed that it wasn't okay, she said to DS1 "I'm going to come anyway." Then she called the school to arrange it. I was already fuming about this, and then just kept getting worse. For months, they pressure DH to give then their way, telling him that he has right to oppose my wishes. And as you say, there was no apology because they didn't believe their behaviour was out of line. I guess I was just so beyond offended at their lack of regard for me as a mother, and after they tried to turn DH against me in a sense, the trust was so eroded that it was all I could do to be civil.    
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