• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

Forums

  1. Administration

    1. Welcome to the Grandparents.com Community!

      The FAQ & some ground rules so everyone can have a fun, safe, and productive experience.

      44
      posts
  2. Family Matters

    1. Empty Nest No Longer

      With the stressed economy, and for other reasons too, many parents are finding that their adult children are needing to come back to the elders' homes. Others are dealing with custody issues of grandchildren and children divorcing and needing help. If this is something you're experiencing, come share and give and get support from other in the same boat.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      2303
      posts
    2. Grandparents Unplugged

      This is a place for grandparents to ask questions or make statements and receive answers and replies from a variety of people. Posters on this board are other grandparents, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law and those who want to gain a greater understanding of how the 'other folks' feel. You can share what's on your mind, but understand that it's not just grandparents in the room most of the time. I hope that ALL can share their thoughts, feelings, questions and answers without rancor or hatefulness.
      LEAD MODERATORS: Mame925

      10031
      posts
    3. Grandparents without Grandchildren

      This group is created for grandparents living without their grandchildren. Maybe you have been denied visitation, or maybe you are ill and your child wants to keep your grandchildren away from that reality. Whatever the reason, you suffer great loss and this group is intended for you to share with others in similar situations your pain, insights and frustrations. It's a place to get emotional or informational support or give it to others.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      3703
      posts
    4. Mothers-in-Law Anonymous

      Dish, vent or ask for advice about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
      LEAD MODERATORS: RoseRed135, SueSTx, Lilypond, PhalenMum

      183325
      posts
  3. Food

    1. Grandma's Pantry

      Share your favorite recipes and food ideas, and invite others to join in the discussion. Let's get cooking!
      LEAD MODERATORS: SueSTx

      1928
      posts
  4. Grandparenting

    1. Grandparenting From Afar

      They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to discuss everything grandparenting and topics specific to staying in touch from afar.
      LEAD MODERATOR: Critter21

      2155
      posts
    2. Grandparents Caring for Grandkids

      Are you a grandparent (or other relative) caregiver? A parent who relies on family daycare? Whether you're raising your grand(relative)kids, helping to raise them or watching them while the parents go to work or school - or a parent dealing with one of these situations - please come in and share your needs and concerns with us. And if you're anyone else who has ideas and opinions on this topic, please come and join us, as well. Together, let's explore the (often unique) ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and challenges of the GP/relative caregiving situation!
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

      15304
      posts
    3. New Grandparents

      This group is for new grandparents to share and learn from each about the new experience of grandparenting. Experienced grandparents feel free to join and offer your comments. What are you enjoying the most? What are your concerns? How do you give advice without it being taken the wrong way? How do you feel about babysitting? We can't wait to see your comments.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      2486
      posts
  5. Health & Wellness

    1. 50 Shades of Blue

      This group is for anyone who is now, or has ever, struggled with depression or any other mental health or illness problem, even if it's just a bad case of the blues. It's a safe place to seek or offer support.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      840
      posts
    2. Getting Healthy

      Ask questions and share your health experiences with other members. What works for you when it comes to wellness?

      285
      posts
  6. Hobbies

    1. Hobby Corner

      Have a passion project? Whether you're crafting, knitting or making soap and candles, this is the place to talk about it! Share your stories, photos and more with fellow hobbyists.

      67
      posts
  7. Just For Fun

    1. General Gabbery

      It's not complicated. This Group is a place to sit and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze. Let's solve world problems, tell jokes and stories, post pictures and brag on our kids and grandkids. Got something on your mind? Post it we'll talk about it.
      LEAD MODERATORS: SueSTx

      8343
      posts
    2. Club Newcomer

      This is a place for newcomers to introduce themselves and learn more about the various features of the site, especially the different Groups available. It's also a place for current members to come in and help welcome the new ones and help them find their niche(s) among the forums.
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

      4016
      posts
    3. The Great Debate

      Whether it's formula feeding vs. breast feeding, daycare vs. nanny, or spanking vs. time out, everyone has their opinion. This board is where you can state your piece on hot topics.

      PLEASE READ THE WELCOME MESSAGE BEFORE YOU POST HERE

      7883
      posts
    4. Book Club

      Share what you're currently reading and what's on your book shelf with other grandparents.

      128
      posts
    5. News & Issues

      Current news and events -- talk about them here.

      225
      posts
  8. Love & Relationships

    1. All SINGLE golden girls & guys wanted

      Single grandparenting: WHAT A CHALLENGE and WHAT FUN! We are here for each other.
      LEAD MODERATOR: homeygfunk

      2058
      posts
  • Are you a grandparent?   279 votes

    1. 1. Are you a grandparent?


      • I'm a grandparent
      • I'm not a grandparent, but I am a parent (SIL/DIL)
      • Neither -- just here to browse

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic
  • New Threads

  • Recent Posts

    • SueSTx
      Are YOU a Longdistance Grandparent?
      Welcome mphotog and congratulations on the birth of your grandson.  First grands are so exciting. When our daughter had her daughter, she asked us to not visit in their home while she was on maternity leave.  She wanted to make the most of her time with the baby before returning to work.  They did visit us most Sunday afternoons though. My DIL and I have a good relationship and even thought it is normal for her to call me a couple of times a week, I wouldn't dream of planning a visit to their home without speaking to her first.  My son might say "that's good, see you Saturday" and she not know anything about it and already have other plans. Many people aren't comfortable with guests in their home...we do need to respect others homes and their wishes.  Even in our very rural community several people have a
      B&B type offering that can be made use of.  Maybe you have to visit less often to afford a motel. As far as pictures of the grands.  I never share them ever...Not my child...not my picture to share.  If I am given a printed picture, I feel free to show it to visiting family members though. As far as your younger son attending college in Arizona...and moving...probably not such a good idea.  We hear from a lot of grandparentss that have moved to be closer to their young grandkids, and often times they regret it sooner rather than later.  What if you do move and then your son and DIL make plans to move again...would you pick up and move also? 
    • PLS21
      Are YOU a Longdistance Grandparent?
      1. You seemed a little dismissive about her taking a day to grieve a loss. Maybe you gave off harsh vibes even though you said you understood. 2."We came to the conclusion that if they posted a photo, then I could share it. " Who is 'we'? Your son and daughter-in-law? Is possible they didn't realize that when you shared a photo that people they didn't know could see the photo? Maybe a good talk to have more clear cut 'rules' is needed rather than just booting you off. 3. You admit that your son wasn't that great about communication before so add in a long distance move + baby would logically mean even more lack of communication even for people who are really great about staying in touch. So obviously not EVERYTHING is on your daughter-in-law, they are probably bust. And many couples now have a "you deal with yours and I'll deal with mine" when it comes to extended family. 4. How does she show that she is 'immature and jealous'? People's actions aren't as clear cut as they may seem. 5. You are assuming she's being controlling. There is a famous saying about assuming things. 6. Not unusual for people to ask relatives to stay in a hotel. Gives the couple some breathing space and can give the visitors some breathing space. Also 4 months away can be hard to plan ahead if there's a lot of unknowns. Would you rather go there without their input and them say "I'm sorry but our week has been planned and we just don't have time to visit with you."? Or them to fully plan when you come so they can be available for most amount of time for you to see everyone? Don't look at it so negatively that they are 'telling you when you can visit', them being able to plan your visit can be very beneficial to you. Further more... if it's your son talking to you it is NOT all on your daughter-in-law. He has to be willing to say/do these things.  Honestly I hate it when mom's of son's say it's all on their daughter-in-law's and their son just goes along with it, it sounds like THEY are saying they raised a weak minded robot. He does CHOOSE to go along this.  I don't think you need to 'teach them a lesson' by falling off the face of the earth. That just sounds immature and you may be completely saddened if they don't react the way you want. It just sounds like your expectations are not being met and you can either discuss it with your son, which he by no means has to fulfill your expectations, or lower expectations to what they are willing to give. Being the easy one is always beneficial. And don't look at everything so negatively as a whole and give equal blame.
    • mphotog
      Are YOU a Longdistance Grandparent?
      I became a Gramma for the 1st time In Nov 2015...my son & his wife moved from WI to AZ while she was pregnant.  I certainly didn't like the thought of being a long-distance Gramma, but I didn't have any choice, of course.  After my grandson was born, I went out there for 1 week to help them & they really really appreciated it.  Then my son's uncle helped pay for them to come out during Christmas.  Then at the end of March I took my teenage son out to them to visit.  It was around this time I started getting bad vibes from my daughter-in-law.  I spent $1000 to get us 2 out there & on the 3rd & last day my DIL took my grandson for the day to another town to "grieve the recent loss of her grandfather".  I was very disappointed & saddened but certainly didn't want to cause any more trouble so I said I understood.   I did have some trouble before that w/ her saying I had to get permission to share any photos of my g-son on Facebook.  But I didn't mind that so much because I understood her experience in law enforcement & the reasons she gave for not wanting her son's photos too much online & "out there"....the things she saw while interning at the US Marshalls was too gruesome to bear.  Apparently, pedophiles get their kicks out of a lot more than we realize. But it's gotten worse & worse.  We came to the conclusion that if they posted a photo, then I could share it.  And that is the only thing I have done the last 4 months.  I have "stayed out of trouble" w/ them.  They are really bad at Face Timing (we use that instead of Skype), & whenever I do get any communication from them it's always from my son.  The amount of times I have face-timed w/ my grandson I can count on one hand.  And my grandson is 8 months old now.  My son has never been that good keeping in contact w/ me, but when he lived here we at least got to see each other every weekend or 2.  He seemed to understand that he would have to try harder to keep in contact w/ me, especially when his son was born.  He & I & his brother were quite close, so the lack of communication was very perplexing to me.  I think I am figuring it out, though.   The one thing they did for me & some other family members w/ iphones was to keep a shared photo album that they would drop a picture or video in every now & then.  I noticed the album was gone & today I texted my son asking him where it went & he replied: "We booted you momma! Sorry but 1 too many pics were posted that we don't want on Facebook."  I went back in my history on my facebook page & I have not "broken the rules" once in 4 months.  I have no idea what they are talking about & texted him just those facts & haven't heard back yet. I do know, & am starting to realize more & more, these things about my DIL....EVEN THOUGH when we have been w/ each other or the rare times we have communicated by text or FB message one-on-one, she is perfectly pleasant & sweet w/ me.  Firstly, the things I know FOR SURE, because my son has mentioned them to me: 1- her mom is not like me AT ALL:  her mom is very hands-off.  She has never visited them in AZ & doesn't really have any desire to.  Her mom even told ME that she has raised 4 kids & now it's "her time" so she's not really "ga-ga" over her grandson.  Me, on the other hand, would live in a "granny pod" in their backyard if I could.  Lol.   2- I realize that because of #1, my DIL has to get used to me.  My son said, just like he has to get used to his wife's mom.  (I don't envy him! Lol)  Her mom is someone I cannot relate to at all.  She's quite a harsh, critical woman, & I am unconditionally loving & would do almost anything for my kids (although they know there are lines I won't cross...that's a discussion for another day).  My son has said, even recently, that he knows that if he needs me for anything at all (which of course is a rarity at the age of 25 & the life he leads now), that he can count on me. 3- My DIL is very young & immature.  She shows many signs of jealousy/enviousness when it comes to the relationship her husband has w/ me & his brother.   4- My DIL doesn't have much control in her life anymore & she's trying to control something.  She is a very independent, strong woman (you would have to be to at one time wanting to work in the police force.) 5- in relation to what I mentioned above, she is very unsure she actually wants to do what she thought she wanted to do as a career....since she became a mom, getting a dangerous job isn't so appealing anymore!  Both her & my son have had a lot of big events happen in their life in a very short time!  I could go on & on & on.....you can tell, right?  :-)  I am at a loss at what to do.  Part of me wants to completely back off & not contact them whatsoever, even a word, & see how they'd like it if I wasn't in the picture AT ALL.  I wanted to visit sometime before he turns 1...I haven't seen him in 4 months & he has changed completely since then.  But I was left w/ "we'll let you know on any visit they make or I make".  So it sounds like THEY will let me know when I can visit.  (The last time we went there, in March, they made us get a hotel room even though they had one room they weren't using.) We KNOW this is all her & not him.  I realize he's trying to keep the peace & get along w/ his wife.  But I am sick & tired of getting my heart broken.  My teenage son & I have said for many months that we will move down there when he graduates high school next yr, & my youngest is even looking at colleges in AZ.  But I am really doubting that that would be a good idea anymore.  
    • ImpishMom
      Weird or not?
      No, in a public restroom setting, it's a safety issue. In the home, with others around, it's not, which is why folks are thinking it's odd that anyone would deliberately remove a child to accompany them to the restroom.
    • Chrissy3
      Weird or not?
      This does seem weird to me and I wonder why GM would do this. On the other hand, while out and about with just me and my small GC I have taken them into the bathroom with me, even a small stall instead of leaving them outside alone. When you gotta go, you gotta go! Is this weird? 
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