• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.


  1. Administration

    1. Welcome to the Grandparents.com Community!

      The FAQ & some ground rules so everyone can have a fun, safe, and productive experience.

  2. Family Matters

    1. Empty Nest No Longer

      With the stressed economy, and for other reasons too, many parents are finding that their adult children are needing to come back to the elders' homes. Others are dealing with custody issues of grandchildren and children divorcing and needing help. If this is something you're experiencing, come share and give and get support from other in the same boat.

    2. Grandparents Unplugged

      This is a place for grandparents to ask questions or make statements and receive answers and replies from a variety of people. Posters on this board are other grandparents, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law and those who want to gain a greater understanding of how the 'other folks' feel. You can share what's on your mind, but understand that it's not just grandparents in the room most of the time. I hope that ALL can share their thoughts, feelings, questions and answers without rancor or hatefulness.
      LEAD MODERATORS: Mame925

    3. Grandparents without Grandchildren

      This group is created for grandparents living without their grandchildren. Maybe you have been denied visitation, or maybe you are ill and your child wants to keep your grandchildren away from that reality. Whatever the reason, you suffer great loss and this group is intended for you to share with others in similar situations your pain, insights and frustrations. It's a place to get emotional or informational support or give it to others.

    4. Mothers-in-Law Anonymous

      Dish, vent or ask for advice about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
      LEAD MODERATORS: RoseRed135, SueSTx, Lilypond, PhalenMum

  3. Food

    1. Grandma's Pantry

      Share your favorite recipes and food ideas, and invite others to join in the discussion. Let's get cooking!

  4. Grandparenting

    1. Grandparenting From Afar

      They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to discuss everything grandparenting and topics specific to staying in touch from afar.

    2. Grandparents Caring for Grandkids

      Are you a grandparent (or other relative) caregiver? A parent who relies on family daycare? Whether you're raising your grand(relative)kids, helping to raise them or watching them while the parents go to work or school - or a parent dealing with one of these situations - please come in and share your needs and concerns with us. And if you're anyone else who has ideas and opinions on this topic, please come and join us, as well. Together, let's explore the (often unique) ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and challenges of the GP/relative caregiving situation!
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. New Grandparents

      This group is for new grandparents to share and learn from each about the new experience of grandparenting. Experienced grandparents feel free to join and offer your comments. What are you enjoying the most? What are your concerns? How do you give advice without it being taken the wrong way? How do you feel about babysitting? We can't wait to see your comments.

  5. Health & Wellness

    1. 50 Shades of Blue

      This group is for anyone who is now, or has ever, struggled with depression or any other mental health or illness problem, even if it's just a bad case of the blues. It's a safe place to seek or offer support.

    2. Getting Healthy

      Ask questions and share your health experiences with other members. What works for you when it comes to wellness?

  6. Hobbies

    1. Hobby Corner

      Have a passion project? Whether you're crafting, knitting or making soap and candles, this is the place to talk about it! Share your stories, photos and more with fellow hobbyists.

  7. Just For Fun

    1. General Gabbery

      It's not complicated. This Group is a place to sit and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze. Let's solve world problemsgrumble with the grouch we live with, tell jokes and stories, post pictures and brag on our kids and grandkids. Got something on your mind? Post it we'll talk about it.

    2. Club Newcomer

      This is a place for newcomers to introduce themselves and learn more about the various features of the site, especially the different Groups available. It's also a place for current members to come in and help welcome the new ones and help them find their niche(s) among the forums.
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

    3. The Great Debate

      Whether it's formula feeding vs. breast feeding, daycare vs. nanny, or spanking vs. time out, everyone has their opinion. This board is where you can state your piece on hot topics.


    4. Book Club

      Share what you're currently reading and what's on your book shelf with other grandparents.

    5. News & Issues

      Current news and events -- talk about them here.

  8. Love & Relationships

    1. All SINGLE golden girls & guys wanted

      Single grandparenting: WHAT A CHALLENGE and WHAT FUN! We are here for each other.
      LEAD MODERATOR: homeygfunk

  • Are you a grandparent?   649 votes

    1. 1. Are you a grandparent?

      • I'm a grandparent
      • I'm not a grandparent, but I am a parent (SIL/DIL)
      • Neither -- just here to browse

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic
  • New Threads

  • Recent Posts

    • Knovel
      MIL/DIL conflict - Is it inevitable?
      I dislike articles like this because they don't take into account different personalities and different family dynamics. I guess it seems oversimplified to me and not very helpful when trying to solve in-law issues. Plus add in the differences between generations and technology there is no simple answer for why in-law issues can be so hard. I feel like expectations have changed so much since I was a kid, extended family seems to expect more contact (photos, texts, email updates).  For me I loved my in-laws right away and was so thankful to be welcomed into their home. My Mil and I got along better than my mother and I (who is not in my life anymore) and we became friends fast. She helped me plan our wedding and went dress shopping with me, everything was great.... until we had a baby.  Mil had 3 boys and always wanted a girl. We were really close throughout my whole pregnancy there were a couple annoying things like she bought all first clothes (without asking and didn't include me) and was really opinionated about breastfeeding and doing without drugs during labor. Mostly things were good, I asked her into the labor room and she saw her granddaughter born. She came and stayed with us after baby was born and sorta helped. My husband had to remind her several times to hand baby back for feeding and I remember wanting to cry because she had held my baby for hours and she was only days old and I wanted her back but was afraid of offending her.  I think most of our troubles come from mismatched expectations along with some bigger boundary stomps. Our biggest issue so far though has been their dog bit my 12 month old daughter on the face and they so underreacted. We were staying with them at Christmas and for the rest of the trip the dog was still out and about and everything got rug swept for months. I finally said enough if we visit the dog has to be put in a kennel or another room, so my husband had this talk with them and our next visit was horrible. Things were so tense about the dog because we had to keep asking for him to be put away because he won't leave our daughter alone. And we were afraid she would trip and fall again and he would bite her.  Mil ended up yelling at my husbanded saying he was being ****** and making things awful for her (cue eye roll) . They were more worried about their dogs comfort and happiness than their granddaughters safety. This caused us to take a break from visiting their home and really I was so upset I didn't want to permanently ruin our relationship. My husband also was a big problem in this for he just let his mom do whatever and didn't have my back because he didn't want to offend his parents. Now though we are on the same page and our mil apologized for her words and actions (although fil still has a problem with the dog being kenneled).  Sorry that was a novel but I guess things for us just got more complicated with the addition of our daughter. Mil just struggles with respecting us as parents and peers which wears on me. Overall I feel like nothing will ever be enough for her because I don't know what her expectations are (I think she wants us to need her more and to be more of a 3rd parent.) 
    • britomart
      When DIL becomes MIL...
      It's possible that Jody just had bad luck of the draw with her MIL and DIL.  It's also possible that Jody is the problem.  It's really hard to say without knowing specifics about the history of Jody's relationship with her MIL and DIL.  Sally could be a real PITA and overly critical but it could also be that Jody is making incorrect assumptions about Sally and her boundaries.  It's just hard to say without more information.  
      Exciting (terrifying?) development...
      Oh what a fun time you will have with the GC! Just do whatever the parents ask.   Anonymous poster hash: e4647...4ab
    • SueSTx
      What are some common pitalls for new grandparents/grandparents-to-be to watch out for?
      I think it is a good thing to remember when told by an expecting couple, "No thanks" or "Wait to come visit" to do so.  Getting off on the wrong foot can last a lifetime.
    • NewMama
      When DIL becomes MIL...
      Like Sue said, there are difficult people in every generation. Maybe Jody did just really have bad luck, and maybe it's possible her perception of what a good MIL is clashes with what her DIL's perception of a good MIL is.  I think part of the problem is the change in the power balance. The DIL generally has a say in something a MIL wants access to - her family. I don't agree with holding that over someone's head, but it's the reality of the situation. So when DIL becomes MIL, that power balance shifts away from her.  I think what makes a good MIL is very much up to perception. I know what I perceive as being a good MIL, in my own life. And some day, maybe I'll have DILs that sync up with my perception and maybe I won't. 
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