Posted 13 October 2009 - 12:46 PM
Such frustration, Mimi76! But if taking my GK (grandkids) and family to lunch, dinner, etc. was what it took for me to see them, that's what I'd do! Not for the parents' sake, but to spend time with the kids. I know it feels as if you're "paying" to see your GK, but I doubt your son and DIL are thinking of it that way. They probably just can't resist the free meal - and a chance to eat without having to "wait on" anybody. In fact, perhaps sometimes you could host a dinner or party at your house and invite them, along with other people. (One of the members on this ssite does this a lot.) Again the food and the "service" may attract them. And if they don't come, you'll still have other guests to enjoy. Also, the presence of others may take some of the "pressure" off your relationship with your son and DIL. Please realize that no matter how friendly you've been to your DIL, she just may never warm up to you. She may be too involved with her own family to open up to anyone else. Or she may think your warmth towards her is fake. (I'm sure it's not, but SHE might think so.) Or... whatever. Of course, you need to continue to be cordial to her, but from now on, please just focus on enjoying your GC whenever you do see them. All the best! @Ana - Usually, I'd suggest that you respect your son's feelings and stay away from his ex. However, in this case, it's clear you need to remain friendly with her in order to maintain your relationship with your older GD (granddaughter). Perhaps it would help to let your son know that your main motive here is that his ex is your est connection with that GD. Maybe not. I wish you all the strength you need to cope with this issue. @Absymm - I realize that everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I find your remark very cruel and negative. Why are you so cynical? @bondcody - Are you sure your daughter is using her child as "leverage?" When someone has a problem with a parent and they can't be together, that person often loses out on seeing the kids, too. Especially today. Most young parents, nowadays, are NOT willing to spend time with someone just so that person can see the kids, even if it's a relative.