i have 4 that i can't see. the oldest is my sons first her mom is mad at my son, so neither one of us seen her since she was 4yrs, she is now 11yrs. the last thing she said to me was " nana please don't forget me" then her mom took her. the other 3 me and my son-in-law don't like each so my daughter can't talk to any family members. we are below him, he says. in RI there are no grandparent rights. can somebody explain why?
i miss my grandbabies
3 replies to this topic
Posted 18 June 2012 - 04:18 AM
4 GC that you can't visit with! Oh, nanatern, my heart so goes out to you! So sorry that DS can't see his child, either! Has he filed for any kind of visitation rights? He'd have a better chance than you, IMO. And once he got visitation, he could share some of that time with you. It seems as if there was more to this situation than you've told us so far (I know it can be hard to get everything down, all at once). For example, why would your GD (granddaughter) have said, "Nana, please don't forget me?" (I hope you reassured her you wouldn't.) Did her mom say in front of her that you'd "never see her again?" Was there an argument preceding this remark? Or?? I feel the same way, regarding your DD (dear daughter) and SIL (son-in-law). Granted, if he feels you and yours are beneath him, he sounds obnoxious. But is that the only reason you and he are at odds? Or are there more specific issues between you? If so, can you tell us what they are? Perhaps resolving them will lead to renewed access to DD and your GC. And maybe members here can help you resolve those issues. As far as DD not being "allowed" to talk to any of the family. If that's the case, it sounds as if SIL is very controlling. Hopefully, in time, she'll come to her sense and defy or even leave him. Then, she and the kids will reunite with you and the rest of the family. I've seen it happen b4. However, I've also seen that, often, when the "whole family" gets cut off, it's b/c, perhaps with the best of intentions, they've been defending the mom/MIL/GM or whoever. Then the parents get mad at them and so the number of people COd (cut off) increases. If *that's* what happened in your case, then SIL may *not* be dominating DD - she may be standing by him, as her husband, and/or may be just as angry as he at things that were said. Plus, they may think that you put these other relative up to arguing with them (even though you probably didn't). So if there are any family members left that they still talk to, please ask them *not* to try to intercede (I know you can't control what others say, of course). It just makes the situation worse. But you asked about GP rights in RI. I'm not sure what you mean when you say there aren't any. If you click on Expert Advice (above) and then Legal, you'll see an article that summarizes GP rights, state-by-state. If you read the paragraph on RI, you'll see that GPs *can* be granted visitation, under certain specified circumstances. IDK if any of it fits either or your situations. For instance, IDK if DS is divorced or not. But unless the info there is wrong, RI does seem to have some laws regarding GP visitation, whether or not your particular case meets the criteria. GPs don't always win these cases - in fact, often they don't - regardless of state - so please don't jump into legal action even if you feel one of your situations *does* fit the laws. But my point is that there do seem to be some GVR (Grandparents Visitation Rights) rules in your state. Perhaps you mean these "rights" should be for all GPs, w/o any criteria? But very few states allow that. Or maybe you feel there should be a law that states, more or less, that parents *must* allows GPs to see their GC? So that GPs wouldn't have to go to court or bear the burden of proof, as they usually do? Problem is that this would interfere with the *parents'* right to decide who their child spends time with. And it would mean that even cruel and abusive GPs would get to see their GC. I'm sure you can see why so many legislators are reluctant to write such a law (and it wouldn't be Constitutional, anyway, most likely).
Posted 18 June 2012 - 04:20 AM
P.S. I hope DS resolves his problems with GD's mom and that you and he get to see GD again soon. Also, I hope you can figure out a way to resolve your issues with DD and SIL out of court. I wish you all the strength and courage you need to continue to cope with this sad situation... Peace...
Posted 08 July 2012 - 09:46 PM
My heart breaks for you. As I am in the same situation. We can only have faith that things will change and work out for the best....