Posted 21 August 2011 - 04:34 AM
I really don't know how to begin. I have never known such pain. I have a 10 month old granddaughter that I am only allowed to see if I obey my son. For example, when he wishes for me to see her, regardless of whether I have a dr.'s appointment, or am sick I can not say I am unable to for any reason. If he calls on the spur of the moment and tells me he is bringing her over and I am not home or have anything I have previously planned to do and I tell him, then all communications stop. His reply is if I want to see her so bad, I will change whatever I need to do and I will not use any reason why I can't see her, or I loose my privilege. I feel like I am the child and he is my father. I have cried until I can't. I don't sleep, don't eat and feel I am on the edge of a breakdown. He married for the 3rd time a much younger girl. He is 49 and she is 30. She does not like me at all. I have tried to ask her what have I done and she won't respond by phone, facebook, email or any other way I try to talk to her. She has abused my son physically and verbaly since before the baby was born. He told me he was leaving her and getting a divorce, and tried to talk me and my husband into buying a home way too large just for the 4 of us. He wanted me to keep the baby so he could get her when the issue of custody came up. While we were working on trying to help him she lost custody of her only other child, a son, and my son felt sorry for her and backed out. Since then, he has had no communication with us that isn't strictly business. We did not make him pay a cent when he lived with us. He had meals cooked, room cleaned and bed made, laundry done etc. all by me and my Vietnam veteran husband who lost a leg in Vietnam and is very disabled. We even payed to have our grass cut, or any other home maintenance done when he was here. He is very capable to do most anything we need done around the house. I feel so hurt, used and abused. I feel he just threw us under the bus. His wife is very disrespectful to me and when I tell my son about this, she tells him I am lying and he will not go against her because of the fear of losing his one and only daughter. He always wanted a baby girl and he will forsake all family to be with this 3rd wife who has a lot of moral and mental problems. Sometime I feel I can't make it through the night. I am so afraid I may get too depressed and just give up on living, and I don't want to do this. This girl knows I love kids, and they love me. I have kept kids a lot during my life and have had my own home day care as well as worked in public daycare. I have taught sunday school, bible school and helped to rear my younger siblings as well as neices and nephews. For me this is extremely devastating. I have tried for months to find other grandparents who may be suffering this type of pain so I could feel like someone out there could tell me how they cope as I feel I just about can't anymore. I am so glad I found this site. Maybe knowing I am not alone and hearing what others are going through will help me to keep the faith. Thank all who will read my story and offer your love and support. God bless us all as we struggle to carry on.