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NOT ALLOWED TO SEE GRANDCHILDREN


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#1 JCTEXAS

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Posted 30 January 2012 - 01:52 AM

Well, it has been nearly a year since I joined here. Good things have happened. My other daughter had a baby and now there are 2 grandchildren I am not allowed to see. However, great thing happened to me this weekend. I am a Christian first and foremost and I was a singer in a ladies gospel trio for 5 years and we met this weekend to reminisce. The group is no longer on the road singing. The great thing was that I finally turned over all my grief and pain of my children not allowing me to see my grandchildren to the Lord. I just laid it at the feet of Jesus. He said his burden is light and his yoke is easy. I did just that and I have never felt better. I felt the weight of the world leaving my shoulders literally. I discovered my children (adults) have the problem and not me. They are the ones who choose not to allow their children around one of the most fun grandmother's in the world. Yes, I think highly of my ability to be a grandmother and a good one as I already am with my 2nd marriage husband's 9 grandchildren. I am forever Nana Joy with them. I am thankful for them. A new great-grandson is in this 2nd marriage family. He was born 2 months ago. So, the door may have been shut by my daughters, but the door is open wide at this new great-grandchild and I will embrace this precious bundle of JOY with all my heart. I am taking all that I am and giving 100% to these grandchildren I can be around and my children again, as I said, HAVE THE PROBLEM. It is not me. I pray for them everyday and ask God to take care of them. God does and I must go on with my life. It has been 17 years since the divorce from my ex-husband and my girls will have to forgive or they will suffer the rest of their entire lives with the bitterness and hatred they have for me.

#2 Sunshine1002

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Posted 30 January 2012 - 09:09 AM

Please correct me if I'm wrong but you have 2 kids and neither of those kids are talking to you, and neither of your kids will allow you to see your Grandkids? Yet YOUR KIDS are the problem here?

#3 JCTEXAS

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Posted 30 January 2012 - 11:35 AM

Long story. 17 years. The 2 children live side-by-side. It is a JOINT effort. Like I said, 17 years and my family and none of my friends understand it. Both children have college degrees...both are very very successful in life. A mother could not ask for more other than...wanting to be around her grandchildren. I think truly it is revenge for divorce 17 years ago. One way to get even since they KNOW I adore children. I was a baby sitter for 6 years and taught Children's Church in my church. I am finally letting go after 17 years . It is their problem if they cannot forgive. It was a divorce. I cannot explain 17 years on this grandparents.com. This was a place for me to write and get things off my chest. No one can know until you walked a mile in my shoes.

#4 rosered135

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Posted 02 February 2012 - 06:02 AM

JC, I'm so glad to see that you've found ways to come to terms with this situation. So often posters here suggest that an estranged GM immerse herself in other activities and/or focus on other relatives and friends. Many posters, too, advise praying and putting the situation into God's hands, if they so believe. You've done all three. Good for you! I admit, I still feel as if there is a piece missing from this puzzle. something in that argument with your brother that, if I recall correctly, prompted one daughter to pull away from you, with the other now following suit. I can't help but feel you'd find a key there if you gave it thought. But I'm glad you've found peace and I wish you the best!

#5 pms4968

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 09:56 AM

Hi JC, well you have raised your children & they sound very successful, so you are right it is time to live your life now & if they have a problem with you moving on, to bad. Life is to short to try & please everyone. Here's what I say to my kids, I raised you the best I could & you both turned out very successful, my job is done. The proof will be when your grandkids grow up. Let's see if your daughters do as good a job. I'm glad you have the Lord in your life I do to. He is the one I can truly count on. Well JC I hope you enjoy your life. Don't Worry Be Happy..

#6 Bamato3

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 10:19 AM

I feel your pain. Story too long to go into or even begin to explain - My middle child (daughter) has 3 beautiful children that I have bee "Bama" to for years (ages 10, 6, 3). The older two are from her first marriage and the youngest is the fiance. I have been there for her through thick and thin since she was 16 (like I mentioned, it is a long story), however, once the grandchildren came along, we found a wonderful but challenging relationship. I have been babysitter for a number of years until my daughter quit her job about 18 months ago to be a stay at home mom. I still watch the children and visit often. My relationship with my grandchildren is heavenly! I love them and I know they love me. I have been widowed for 4 years and these little people have been a healing medicine like no other. Well, recently, my daughter and her fiance have decided that my presence is to much for the grandkids. I am not sure what it is I have done but I have been given extremely strict guidelines as to when and how long and if I can see them. This is as painful as your not being able to be a grandma at all except I have a relationship with them that has been yanked! I cannot even begin to explain the pain this has caused me. I just do not understand why any of this is happening but you have inspired (and reminded) me to lay my burdens at my savior's feet. This is where I will find true peace.