Posted 11 November 2009 - 06:25 PM
I would just say no. If you want you could say, "I really enjoy babysitting X but I have already made plans. I'm sorry." Just because this would sound nicer. You don't need to explain or justify. If you agreed to always be the backup babysitter during the school years, then it is time to sit down with your son/DIL and explain the arrangement is no longer working for you. Give them plenty of notice and politely apologize for the inconvenience. I agree with the PP - I would hope that my mom or MIL would have a life, and wasn't always available at the drop of a hat too. Also, that they wouldn't change their plans because they felt guilty. I would be concerned that the guilt might turn into frustration, or resentment later. I would also want them to enjoy their retirement. Your DIL/son may not even realize that you have been prevented from travelling whenever you feel the urge. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives, that we forget that other people have lives too. There is nothing wrong with your DIL/son finding an alternate babysitter, for the days that you aren't able to babysit. They might use that babysitter more, if they are always available to babysit, and that has more to do with keeping a babysitter happy with hours/money. Then the babysitter is more willing to accomodate the family's needs. Some dayhomes require a minimum number of hours in a month that families have to pay for, so it would make sense that your DIL/son would use the dayhome first, if that was the case. I wouldn't prevent my children from seeing my mom/MIL from seeing, just because they couldn't babysit my children. It isn't their job to babysit my children whenever I need - they are my children and my/DH's responsibility. Not all DILs play ugly. Go read that book and enjoy that glass of wine.