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INTERNET DATING


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#1 EASYTOUCH

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 12:06 AM

Internet Dating seems to get a bum rap at times and I figured I would point out a few good aspects that I have found over the last few months for myself. When my wife passed over 1 1/2 years ago a friend of hers gave me some directions to a grieving group on Yahoo. I never really knew her personally all that much and even then she was only a casual friend of my wife. I'll just say that after a few months her and I started to pass a few emails back and forth and things have gone from there. It has been a slow process to say the least and it will be a slow process to come since neither one of us is in any great hurry. Her husband actually passed away about a year earlier than my wife. I know a lot of people might be concerned because of the past spouse thing and grieving going on with us both. At least the common bond of that was a starting point. While we have talked on the phone some and seen each other in person the emails have played a major aspect in things between us. I think emails and the internet have just replaced what the letters and such did before. One plus with the Internet though over that is the sense of being anonymous. If used in that sense you can say a lot of things that otherwise you might not feel like you can say in person. At least Online once you hit that send button its gone on its way and there is no turning back.You can be a little braver in saying some things. The drawback with it I know is you don't get that body language thing that can really say a lot about someone and what they are thinking then. Given some time though you usually can tell if someone is actually being honest and truthful just because as things come up again you can always see if stories change all that much. At the same time you can ask questions about things just to get them clarified. These questions are even something you probably would not find yourself doing either in person. As long as you give it time there are always things that become evident one way or another. Another thing I have found good is that with our schedules and distance the internet helps a lot with going back and forth. Even phone calls can be hard if a person is not at home or busy. At least with an email if you have a poor memory like most of us you are able to share something quickly while it is still fresh on your mind.Its a lot easier than a phone message at that time. Chatting in itself is as easy as a phone call and even though it can be tough sometimes getting some things across clearly is tough life itself is tough too. As long as you are looking at some kind of a lasting relationship even a friendship I have just found that the Internet can be a real useful item. While I'll admit my situation is not the same as people looking for someone else in their life you just never really know what can actually happen. I just don't want to see anyone have a closed mind or limit themselves to any one thing and not explore possibilities. I know in my case it will be a while but in the meantime I'll use this Internet for all I can get out of it. Now how about it? Anyone else have some good and positive Internet experiences to pass on to others?

#2 Fang

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 11:25 AM

Hi: This is not really about internet dating but my dad, after my mom passed, began dating the widow of a friend of his. All 4 of them were friendly and they took vacations together, etc. The bottom line is that my dad and Ellie got married, renewed their vows twice, picked up and moved to Las Cruces where she's originally from, and are as happy as clams. As far as the internet is concerned, from my personal experience, forget it. Old pictures, lies and about such stupid things as height, hair, job - don't tell me you're 5'10" when I say I'm 5'7" and wear heels and when I meet you you're 5"4" - stupid little things like that. I don't post a picture but I do tell the truth, warts and all. And if someone feels compelled to lie about their height well what else will they lie about. I've been stood up a lot of times to when I was on the internet. But hey for some people it works. My girl friend always meets nice men (and she lies) granted they don't stick around but she always has a new man. FANG

#3 BestBaba

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Posted 30 March 2010 - 08:40 PM

Hi, I've been on an internet dating site for the past few months. At first I didn't post a picture but would provide one privately, now i just posted my picture. I've not met anyone who has looked different than their picture altho I'm not about to go out with most men that contact me. I had one man on our first and last date who didn't treat me as a lady as we were leavig the restaurant. Other than, all is gone well. Just remember to always protect yourself, such as making sure others no who you're with and where you are. I warn my dates that their info is out there and I don't take my safety lightly. Good Luck to all who have tried or will try the dating sites and keep an open mind. Ethel(BestBaba)

#4 coolnana56

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 10:35 AM

Hello I am new here. I am a grandmother of 3. I found the man that I am now dating on a internet site. We been seeing eachother for six years. I am divorce and his wife died. You have to take it slow and really get to know that person. When we first met it was where I felt safe and it was in public. There are so nice people out there that really are lonely. Just trust your heart and listen to that voice in your head. The good thing is we fell in love.

#5 yolie91762a

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Posted 19 April 2010 - 12:19 PM

I'm glad that I'm not the only person who had problems with internet dating. When I get a response to post, I get a man who wants a young, skinny person. I am not young, I will be 45 on Monday, I am a plus person, and I don't post my picture. I met my ex at work. Are there men on the internet who are honest?

#6 Granmajuju

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 03:34 AM

I have dated several men I met on online dating sites. However, usually not for very long. I guess I am too picky. However, I have met some women in chat rooms that I have remained friends with for years and we have even gotten together in person so as to meet. Sometimes, by this age, I think it is better to stick with female friends rather than try to have a dating relationship. They seem easier, more accepting and certainly easier to get along with.

#7 kurlykate

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Posted 22 June 2010 - 12:40 PM

I have been widowed for 16 years and have tried internet dating a lot. I generally only responded to those men who had their picture posted. If I was attracted to a photo/profile, I would usually initiate with a "wink" or Ilike your profile thing. Sometimes there would be a response back but not often. I'm not sure if the websites are honestly trying to match you up or they are just taking your money and posting old profiles and photos. I think once you leave one of those single websites, you should delete your photo and profile. All that said, I did meet up with some men, but I think all they wanted was a one night stand. I'm afraid there are not too many gentlemanly men out there - it scares me. Maybe I am too picky, but I had a great husband and would like that again. Oh well, I'm still looking but not having too much luck - however, its sort of fun to get on the computer and just look and maybe laugh a little. I even have my very young granddaughter look at the photos with me - we try to decide together which grandpa would be best for this grandma. Its fun and cute as long as we are cautious.

#8 Rains

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Posted 22 June 2010 - 07:12 PM

I joined this group just to make a comment. I am currently married, but I wanted to say that I met my husband online. Yes, as the saying goes, "you gotta kiss a few frogs". I met men that were nothing like their profile in terms of age, height, weight, etc. But, stick with it, you will find someone who tells the entire truth. If not for the internet, I never would have met my husband. He is a Mensa member and spent most of his free time at the library. I, on the other hand, am much more social and you would find me at the pub with my friends on Friday night. We have been together almost 10 years and married almost 9. We have never had an argument. I am not saying that we never disagree, we do. But, we talk about issues and resolve them without anger. We got married in the backyard. My husband designed and built a gazebo and that's where we tied the knot. It has been heaven. I never thought I'd find happiness at the age of 53, but it is possible! As a side note, keep all options open: my husband is a little over 9 years younger than me.

#9 ajshat

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Posted 22 June 2010 - 09:32 PM

I am on 2 free internet dating sites, and so far have not had very much luck. I have meet with a few of the men that have emailed me,but so far I have found that most men on there have way too many issues for me. The last one I met on the internet lied. He said he had a vehicle and did not. His photo was recent, but he worked as a telemarketer which he lied about on his profile, and he owed a huge debt to the IRS which he will never be able to repay, and he has 5 children from previous marriages that he hasn't seen in yrs, and they do no wish to see him. Most just want one night stands, and I definitely am not into that. I was married for 31 yrs, and would like to find a man who respects and loves me the way he did. I am a Christian and on my profile say that is very important to me and I want a man that feels the same way. Plus I listen to country music and love attending concerts, and I have come to the conclusion that there are very few men on these dating sites that even know remotely anything about that. Plus I don't email sexually explicit replies to any of them, and most men like that,so I do not usually get past a couple of emails untl they figures out I am not what they are looking for. Oh well, guess I am just too straight laced for men on the internet. I still have my profile on these 2 sites, but don't spend much time looking anymore.

#10 Fang

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Posted 23 June 2010 - 03:17 PM

It's really hard to keep an open mind when you meet fools. I too have sent a picture when requested and then I would meet someone for a drink and I'd be told I'm too tall, yeah I did say I'm 5'7"; my hair is too poofed, yeah so what I live in NJ you do big hair with spray and gel, and one dope even told me my hair was the wrong color, ok the supreme being made a mistake huh. At least when I was dating I would come into work and give everyone a laugh about my adventures. Now I'm only interested in males 43" tall who are getting ready to go to kindergarden. I think for me, at least, I had a good marriage and while there's supposed to be someone for everyone I had my someone with my late husband. Anyone who is meeting nice people on the internet I say good, enjoy. And by the way its not just the internet I had the same kind of thing happen when I used a matchmaker. FANG

#11 mawmaw1111

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Posted 28 June 2010 - 09:59 PM

I joined an internet to see what was out there,but never subscribed. Most all the men my age,67,want younger women,anyway.Several of us widows[we call ourselves THE MERRY WIDOWS CLUB,ha ha] go somewhere on Sat.nights.It would really be nice to meet a special friend to go places and have fun as a couple.The grand kids laugh about finding Mawmaw a boyfriend.At least we can all laugh about it now.In my small town there is no available men,at least to my specifications.

#12 annebell

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Posted 12 July 2010 - 09:23 PM

i really like what u are saying the internet can be fun i hoped u fine that luckey lady

#13 MJ2304

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Posted 19 July 2010 - 08:48 PM

I can't say that intenet dating from my experience has been a postive. Outside the stereotype crazies from Archie Bunker reincarnates to hustlers or those with baggage I haven't found anyone I could attach to in a relationship. For a fling...if you look long and hard maybe....but as for a relationship..I found being a census taker I met better options then the time wasted on line.

#14 DEB44M

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Posted 04 November 2010 - 08:13 PM

I just read your post. Very nicely said!! :)

#15 Mamawpatty

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Posted 21 November 2010 - 08:57 PM

I think you are the man that sent me to that grief place. It helped. Thank-you for the advice. I think my husband had just died and I was very upset. 6 months after he died, my Mom died. I have lost the people I depended on the most. The only thing holding me together, are the pills for depression. My grandchildren call them my happy pills.

#16 littleone22

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Posted 28 November 2010 - 04:34 PM

Saw your post. I am not that old 48 and Grandma of a 2 year old and about to be grandma of a new born ( due in March) who I will be taken on the responsibility as raising as my own. Looking for a relationship via the internet can be done but it’s with luck. Most sights I have been on I have had no success. I feel I have a lot to offer someone and not ready to quit looking just yet, just wish it wouldn’t take so long.

#17 marilynpat

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Posted 19 December 2010 - 05:30 PM

Just a note on the current subject of internet dating, I have had no luck at all. I'm an active person, but the truth of it is I'm 73 and a plus size, I would love to meet a nice gentleman since it seems the rest of the world travels in couples. But older men seem to be looking for slim young women, not older ladies. I finally quit the internet sites, to be honest it was too hurtfull being ignored. My only connection turned out to be a nigerial con man. Grandma Pat

#18 Tammyb58

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Posted 19 October 2011 - 08:13 AM

Grama Pat I totally agree with what you are saying.It;s like dejavu.... been there done that! I certainly got discouraged with online dating sites. I'm hopeful that some day I will meet the right man to spend the rest of my life with. (or maybe I'm dreaming) -Grama Tammy

#19 cindymk744

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Posted 29 November 2011 - 01:31 PM

My husband and I really got to know one another through the internet even though we met originally at a Christian book club. We obtained each other´s email addresses because of that club roster. He was far more socially inclined and wrote and asked various people for prayer for his youngest daughter´s marriage. I take prayer seriously so answered him and asked him to keep me updated. One thing led to another and our first official date was kayaking about a year later. Because he lived in a different county than I and we both were tied to our jobs, we relied on email communication between dates. As a result I believe we learned a lot more about each other before we married. In fact I beleived the reliance on internet communication actually postponed the physical attraction part of dating to some extent so we could really communicate from the heart and learn about each other´s values, goals, concerns, joys, and sorrows. We married in 2003 (he had been single 10 years and I for 15). When he left this earth in 2009 I experienced grief, but now I just very thankful he was a part of my life for those six wonderful years. I have turned the grief into a ministry and lead two GriefShare groups in my church.

#20 SKgrandma

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Posted 02 February 2012 - 07:59 PM

I have been divorced for 8 yrs. And have been on a few of the dating sites. I Think the men who join the sites have no idea what it is they are looking for.. I have found that most are out there looking for a girl and not a women . Maybe they think its a game. That's one of the reasons these dating sites have a bad name. No one is really serious about meeting a person. It seems to be a game to them. And I think what they charge is way out of line.