Posted 20 February 2012 - 04:31 AM
Unless you're being incredibly sarcastic, Holly, you certainly have some very strong opinions - opinions that are very different from many of those in this group. I appreciate the fact that you have the courage to express them. And that you're among those who, every now and then, remind us that not all DILs have the same PO V on these matters, any more than all MILs do. Also, I think it's wonderful that both your DM and MIL provide such enriching experiences for your DC. And that you appreciate them both. Clearly, you have a (reasonably) good relationship with both women, and that's a beautiful thing! As a mom/MIL/GM, myself, however, I have to take exception to some of your points. While I understand your thought that kids will eat foods that are bad for them, at some point or other, I don't see how that means that parents shouldn't try to prevent that if and when they can. And that involves, IMO. expecting people you (general) entrust their care to, whether GPs, aunts and uncles or a professional nanny. And while I get that kids are likely to meet up with bullies at school (Groan!), I can't imagine letting them suffer ridicule or favoritism, etc,, at the hands of their own GPs, people they are supposed to be able to trust. And U certainly hope the outfits I buy my DGC aren't "ugly!." Or that YDD/their mom doesn't think so. But maybe that's why I usually checlk with her about what I want to get b4 I purchase it. Those are just e examples of the many points I don't agree with in your post, as much as I appreciate your making them. But I guess the comment that boggled my mind the most was the one about the GPs calling "every day to check on" the GC. Well, ok, maybe after filling them with all that candy you say is par for the course and giving them all that "crap," they're worried. But really, as a young mom, I would have taken that as an insult to my intelligence and ability as a parent! And I still see it the same way today. I mean, hey, don't ply my kids with junk and then act as if you think *I* don't know how to take care of them! LOL! Seriously, my DGC are, no doubt, the "light of my life." Not that I don't have other people and interests in my world. But on those days when all else seems to be going bad, they are the bright spot that make everything ok. And as their daily 'nanny granny," my relationship with them is "up close" and so, I'm privy to a lot of details I might not t]otherwise know. But even so, I defer to YDD and her rules for them - b/c *she's* their mother and I'm not. Please understand that I'm not trying to praise myself for that, but if I can do it, so can other GPs,IMHO, including those who see their grands less often than I.