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DD and Facebook Problem


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#1 nonna23

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 05:38 PM

When my DD and are together she will tag me and her with our location.  I am VERY uncomfortable with this.  I neither need or want my facebook friends to know where I am and what I am doing.  I also think this is causing some problem with my DM and DIL1 because we have not invited them.

 

Example:  DD and I had a girls day, just us and went to breakfast and to have our nails done.  My DM was hurt we did not ask her.  My co-workers made comments about my weekend.  Neither of which needed to know how I spent my time and money.

 How do I ask DD not to do this without hurting her feelings.?



#2 SarahMB

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 05:40 PM

Just straight up tell her that you have different feelings about how much information you want made public about your daily life and ask her not to do it.  That's a completely reasonable request that shouldn't hurt her feelings.


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#3 jaci

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 05:47 PM

That ones simple, just tell her!



#4 nonna23

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 05:49 PM

My DD may take this as a being critical of her facebook use.  I also tend to be very blunt and want to phrase this well.



#5 ReachingUpFromFedUp

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 06:22 PM

Ok...this may sound like a cop-out...but FB has a setting that you can change that will require your approval for anything that gets tagged with you in it.  So, for instance, if DD posts a picture and "tags" you in it, FB will send you a message saying, "DD would like to tag you in her picture, do you accept" and you just click "no" and you're not tagged.  But...if you guys are pretty open with each other, I also think you can say, "DD...I think it's fine that you post up pictures...I know you like to share your life with your friends...but I am a little uncomfortable with some of my co-workers knowing what I'm doing on the weekends, so please try not to tag me in the pictures".  Leave out the family aspect so you don't have to get into that with her, but give her part of the truth (the co-workers) so that she understands where you're coming from.  I don't see why it would have to turn into a conversation about her using FB in a way you don't think is appropriate.


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#6 Eowyn

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 06:56 PM

My solution to this (I am also a rather private person) is not to use facebook. Barring that, I would say have a candid and kind chat with your daughter "I am so glad you post shots of us on facebook, I feel very honored that you want to show everyone all the good times we have together, I'm a little nervous about the locations being tagged, though, could you make them more general or leave them out? Thanks so much!"



#7 BlondeMommy

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 07:03 PM

FedUpDil I was going to say the same thing, make it so you have to approve the post.

I'm like you nonna, I don't like tagging myself in unless I'm doing it. The way I look at is, if I want people to know I'll tell them or do it myself, I don't need others posting what stores I was at, restaurants I ate at, or my personal favorite MY HOME! Btw if she tags you at your home facebook makes a page devoted solely to each location, and guess what its linked in with google maps so it actually gives driving directions to any of your facebook friends that can see this! Had a friend do this to me, and I was furious, and it took about a week and multiple complaints to facebook to have this page and post removed!

You can also put your coworkers into "lists". These are absolutely wonderful, you can customize each list so they can see everything or only certain things, and each post or picture you make, you can change if everyone can see it, or to exclude lists (ie coworkers).

#8 NewMama

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 07:10 PM

It's a reasonable request, and honestly if it hurts her feelings that's too bad. Your privacy should be a higher concern, it's unfortunate not everyone takes their privacy seriously on FB. You can adjust your settings so no one can tag you without approval, but eventually your daughter will notice you're not showing up in posts and probably ask why she can't tag you all of a sudden. Previous posters have left some good suggestions on how to phrase it. I'd tell her first and then change the settings.

#9 britomart

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Posted 22 March 2013 - 07:11 PM

I think you should just ask your daughter not to put pictures of you on Facebook or not to tag them.  If you have a good relationship she'll understand.  You can explain exactly what you wrote here.  DH and I do not want pictures of our son on Facebook so we've told our friends and family that they can take pictures of him but to please not put them on Facebook and all of our friends and family have respected our wishes.  None of them were offended or were angered by our request.  What you are asking is very reasonable. 


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#10 BlueEyedGirl

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 01:37 PM

I completely agree - just tell her that you don't want her tagging you - that it makes you uncomfortable! Barring having that conversation though - just go with the approval option - easy peasy!



#11 JustaGrandma

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 01:57 PM

I don't want people I don't know knowing when I'm out of the house because I don't want the house broke into while I'm gone. My fb is very public because of the committees' and organizations i belong to around town, with all the breakins around too much info some times is not good.  



#12 Guest_GoogleEarth_*

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 02:55 PM

Nonna, 

 

I think you should do what FedUp said upthread. Change YOUR settings that allow you to APPROVE people tagging you. That way, your DD gets to do what she wants, and you also get to do what you want and there are no hurt feelings. 

 

And if your DD comes to you and says, "What's wrong, why can't I?" You act incredulous that this is even a thing and her request is the silliest you ever heard. Then drop it. 



#13 nonna23

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 03:55 PM

Nonna, 

 

I think you should do what FedUp said upthread. Change YOUR settings that allow you to APPROVE people tagging you. That way, your DD gets to do what she wants, and you also get to do what you want and there are no hurt feelings. 

 

And if your DD comes to you and says, "What's wrong, why can't I?" You act incredulous that this is even a thing and her request is the silliest you ever heard. Then drop it. 

 

Love this... I can get one of the "youngsters" at work to show me how...