My daughter is in a dilemma.
This is what the other grandmother does.....
She ignores everything that the parents ask. She will not put up child gates on her 3 stairways, she swears in front of the child, she refuses to think the child needs a nap, and generally ignores any rules put forth by the parents.
The grandmother also has a son at home who was charged with sexual abuse with a child under the age of 18. He is 29, she was 16. And grandma says that it was the girl's fault.
Now this grandmother thinks that my daughter is being unreasonable by saying that her daughter should not spend the night at grandma's house. The grandma has had supervised visitation privileges from the beginning and the granddaughter is now 2. I think my daughter's rules should trump grandmas in this case. I know the grandmother and can attest to her saying that the granddaughter does not need naps, can eat cheese pops for lunch and dinner, and can do anything at her house. Any ideas?
The grandmother was repeatedly asked to put up child gates in front of the three stairways (one open to a basement) in her house. She has never done that.
I feel that I should try to keep my ideas to myself but some of the things that I have heard make me want to protect my granddaughter.
To make matters worse, the father of the child (grandma's son), died prior to the granddaughter being born....may have been drug related... and it happened at grandma's house. My daughter and her son were not married and only knew each other for about 5 months. Plus his mother put him in foster care when he was 14 because he was chasing away her boyfriends!!! She never put the children first.
My daughter knows that she chose poorly when she found herself pregnant by the baby's father but was trying to work things through in the interest of the child prior to the father's death. Plus my daughter has been trying to work with the other grandmother. But every time that she allows the other grandmother to take her daughter, she does not bring her back on time and does not pay any attention to the rules. I know grandparents can relax some rules but my daughter now has a newborn, plus a mother in law with dementia living with her, and these rules help to keep things calm around the house. When her daughter comes home after being gone with grandma, it appears that she is eating poorly and she is returned late.
If she were to take the granddaughter, she would be taking her across State lines. Grandma lives in PA, mother in NY.