I was very glad to find this site. Unfortunately, it is too late to be of a lot of help. Decades too late. We are dealing with a high functioning, lying and or delusional child who has moved through just about every phase of parental abuse there is and now is involved with the legal system. Don't think it cannot happen to you. The one thing that kind of got me through as a child with my own dysfunctional family system was a beloved grandparent. Now we are being withheld any contact, this was part of the manipulation which had been going on for sometime in a lesser format. I feel sorry for everyone involved, but most of all my grandchild. They say time heals everything. I hope so.
Mentally ill adult childrenMentally ill adult children
Posted 03 April 2013 - 05:04 AM
i'm sorry, lightofthenorth - that you have been through so much. i don't know if this is a daughter or a son, but i do understand what you are saying about parental abuse and i'm so very sorry. did you, yourself, cause the legal system to be involved? i hope you had what it took to cause the abuse to stop - many don't. there is evidently, from what you say, a grandchild involved and that grandchild is being withheld from you. how does your not-so-dear-child's spouse feel about the grandchild being withheld from you? does he/she agree?
is your child now in a position now in a position where he/she can no longer hurt you? i hope so. of course, we know there are a number of ways children can abuse parents - and ONE of them is keeping their grandchildren from them - some members on this site call it "being cut-off." so. maybe you have now learned a new phrase, or you may have already heard it some where.
i'm really sorry you have had problems all this child's life - and i don't doubt that. i have a ds that i do love very much - but he's just had one problem after another since he was a toddler. he's been living with us for several years and it isn't always a happy place to be. well, it's happy if i don't say anything, suggest anything. whatever. it hasn't been an easy life with him, but i'm assuming, from what you say, your problems are somewhat different and worse.
can you share with us more of what is going on? you say it's too late for you - too late to be of much help. we can certainly be what help we can. how, for instance is your child now involved with the legal system? is that a new thing? do they live in your town or near you? you mentioned that the withdrawal from your grandchild has began as there, but not as bad, now, it's total? how old is your grandchild? what else is happening?
i came from a somewhat dysfunctional family, also. my grandmother was my best friend, my savior, always there for me - really, my mother. i do know what you're talking about there. we're here to listen and try to help. ~ tedy
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Posted 04 April 2013 - 03:20 PM
Yes we are safe, now, and I now that I know more about parental abuse, I wish we had taken steps sooner to remove ourselves, but spouse would not have listened any sooner, anyway. So here we are. I really appreciate your comforting words and support.
Posted 05 April 2013 - 02:59 AM
i am sorry about your parental abuse. I don't know what my future holds with my daughter. Right now it is ok. I am raising her children right now. I am glad that you are safe.