• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

Forums

  1. Administration

    1. Welcome to the Grandparents.com Community!

      The FAQ & some ground rules so everyone can have a fun, safe, and productive experience.

      67
      posts
  2. Family Matters

    1. Empty Nest No Longer

      With the stressed economy, and for other reasons too, many parents are finding that their adult children are needing to come back to the elders' homes. Others are dealing with custody issues of grandchildren and children divorcing and needing help. If this is something you're experiencing, come share and give and get support from other in the same boat.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      2470
      posts
    2. Grandparents Unplugged

      This is a place for grandparents to ask questions or make statements and receive answers and replies from a variety of people. Posters on this board are other grandparents, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law and those who want to gain a greater understanding of how the 'other folks' feel. You can share what's on your mind, but understand that it's not just grandparents in the room most of the time. I hope that ALL can share their thoughts, feelings, questions and answers without rancor or hatefulness.
      LEAD MODERATORS: Mame925

      11512
      posts
    3. Grandparents without Grandchildren

      This group is created for grandparents living without their grandchildren. Maybe you have been denied visitation, or maybe you are ill and your child wants to keep your grandchildren away from that reality. Whatever the reason, you suffer great loss and this group is intended for you to share with others in similar situations your pain, insights and frustrations. It's a place to get emotional or informational support or give it to others.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      4214
      posts
    4. Mothers-in-Law Anonymous

      Dish, vent or ask for advice about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
      LEAD MODERATORS: RoseRed135, SueSTx, Lilypond, PhalenMum

      188725
      posts
  3. Food

    1. Grandma's Pantry

      Share your favorite recipes and food ideas, and invite others to join in the discussion. Let's get cooking!
      LEAD MODERATORS: SueSTx

      2142
      posts
  4. Grandparenting

    1. Grandparenting From Afar

      They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...This group is for grandparents whose grandchildren live far away. Join us to discuss everything grandparenting and topics specific to staying in touch from afar.
       

      2490
      posts
    2. Grandparents Caring for Grandkids

      Are you a grandparent (or other relative) caregiver? A parent who relies on family daycare? Whether you're raising your grand(relative)kids, helping to raise them or watching them while the parents go to work or school - or a parent dealing with one of these situations - please come in and share your needs and concerns with us. And if you're anyone else who has ideas and opinions on this topic, please come and join us, as well. Together, let's explore the (often unique) ups and downs, ins and outs, joys and challenges of the GP/relative caregiving situation!
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

      15869
      posts
    3. New Grandparents

      This group is for new grandparents to share and learn from each about the new experience of grandparenting. Experienced grandparents feel free to join and offer your comments. What are you enjoying the most? What are your concerns? How do you give advice without it being taken the wrong way? How do you feel about babysitting? We can't wait to see your comments.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      2667
      posts
  5. Health & Wellness

    1. 50 Shades of Blue

      This group is for anyone who is now, or has ever, struggled with depression or any other mental health or illness problem, even if it's just a bad case of the blues. It's a safe place to seek or offer support.
      LEAD MODERATORS: ADMIN

      903
      posts
    2. Getting Healthy

      Ask questions and share your health experiences with other members. What works for you when it comes to wellness?

      382
      posts
  6. Hobbies

    1. Hobby Corner

      Have a passion project? Whether you're crafting, knitting or making soap and candles, this is the place to talk about it! Share your stories, photos and more with fellow hobbyists.

      174
      posts
  7. Just For Fun

    1. General Gabbery

      It's not complicated. This Group is a place to sit and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze. Let's solve world problemsgrumble with the grouch we live with, tell jokes and stories, post pictures and brag on our kids and grandkids. Got something on your mind? Post it we'll talk about it.
      LEAD MODERATORS: SueSTx
       

      9016
      posts
    2. Club Newcomer

      This is a place for newcomers to introduce themselves and learn more about the various features of the site, especially the different Groups available. It's also a place for current members to come in and help welcome the new ones and help them find their niche(s) among the forums.
      LEAD MODERATORS: rosered135

      4322
      posts
    3. The Great Debate

      Whether it's formula feeding vs. breast feeding, daycare vs. nanny, or spanking vs. time out, everyone has their opinion. This board is where you can state your piece on hot topics.

      PLEASE READ THE WELCOME MESSAGE BEFORE YOU POST HERE

      8430
      posts
    4. Book Club

      Share what you're currently reading and what's on your book shelf with other grandparents.

      225
      posts
    5. News & Issues

      Current news and events -- talk about them here.

      839
      posts
  8. Love & Relationships

    1. All SINGLE golden girls & guys wanted

      Single grandparenting: WHAT A CHALLENGE and WHAT FUN! We are here for each other.
      LEAD MODERATOR: homeygfunk

      2162
      posts
  • Are you a grandparent?   582 votes

    1. 1. Are you a grandparent?


      • I'm a grandparent
      • I'm not a grandparent, but I am a parent (SIL/DIL)
      • Neither -- just here to browse

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic
  • New Threads

  • Recent Posts

    • BSW
      MIL says I'm disrespectful
      Your MIL sounds insecure, needy and manipulative.  She could be what we see over and over again on this forum which is a ground zero victim in her family that everyone dances around or enables or ignores, etc., which only feeds into her ridiculous behavior. My question for your MIL would be:  What is your greatest fear?  Because it appears that she is playing into her fear with her insecure and annoying behavior.  Does your MIL have a fear of being rejected?  Abandoned?  Not being able to carry out her grandma expectations?  Losing control of her family?  The problem with fear is that as it turns out it can become your reality if it is not addressed due to your behavior in trying to prevent the very thing you are most afraid of.  So, I agree with other posters in that it would be best if your DH talks to his mom and in combination you see her less, and both you and your DH stay committed to your boundaries to protect your privacy and your nuclear family's autonomy especially once the baby arrives as unfortunately this is probably going to get worse and you will be more challenged by MIL's antics once the baby arrives.   
    • SueSTx
      Who sits where at your table?
      I go along with your home your rules...but...you explain that to you this is a show of respect who sits at the head of the table.  That is great.  My dad always sat at a certain place while we were all growing up also.  In his 80's though, he gave up his spot because he was less mobile and it was harder for him to go there.  Mother had always set by the kitchen door and he had a special chair he liked and he chose to set next to mother. A lot of dining sets have chairs with arms at the "ends" of the table.  Is it possible that your MIL is trying to choose a chair that is easier for her to get into and out of and not really trying to take the head of the table? We only have an eat in kitchen and it is small.  Hubby always sits on the open end of the table when it is just two or three of us.  If there are more, he takes the chair back in the corner...because he wants to be out of the way.   
    • BSW
      AC gifting vs. ACIL gifting
      @LilMommy  - I am so sorry you are going through this.  Your are so resilient and wise, and I know this will carry you through.  Take Care.
    • Tricia1
      Who sits where at your table?
      I thank everyone so much for your views.  It's been extraordinarily helpful.  I'd like to clarify things somewhat.  When I was a child, my father sat at the head of the table always.  No one ever sat in his spot.  It was a sign of respect.  I now feel the same way about my husband's place at the table.  My husband is the salt of the earth, such a kind loving person who helps out anyone he knows in need, and he is very easy going and humble.  I don't think my daughter or sister-in-law know the history of my MIL always trying to usurp my husband's place at the table, so they may have taken things a little out of context when I refused last night to let her sit in my husband's spot.  In part because my husband is such a nice and humble person, I especially want his family to give him the respect he deserves, and my gut just tells me that my MIL's intermittent yet consistent attempts and manipulations to take his rightful place at the table should not be tolerated.  My husband is always helping out his Mom with doing whatever repair work she needs at her home, taking her to doctor appointments, and I am always good to her and inviting her to our home for dinners, holidays and celebrations.  The one and only thing I've ever asked of her is to let my husband sit at the head of our table.  It is a boundary that I will not let her cross, and I think to do so would be wrong.  The fact that we have explained this to her time and time again, that we want her son to sit at the head of the table, and she repeatedly challenges us on this, is unacceptable to me.  I do sit at the opposite end of the table, because it is right by the entrance to the kitchen, and as the hostess, this works out well, so I can do what I need with serving the meals.  When I asked my MIL last night to move so my husband could sit at the end of the table, it was not with anger; I simply explained to her that she would need to move because that is my husband's place at the table.  I think it might be best, the next time we plan to invite her to dinner, for my husband to call her, and explain that we do not want to go through this every time she comes over, and that we would love to have her at our home, but only if she refrains from this behavior.
    • BSW
      Who sits where at your table?
      Bleh, this brings up not so pleasant memories from the past.  Thank God my IL hosting days are over. First, I completely understand your response.  You are hosting your MIL, SIL, etc., putting in all the work, and this is your home/table and you have a seating arrangement you want for your family and guests.  As the host, you get to decide.  Obviously you want your guests to be comfortable, which is why bringing up where your MIL sat down after she sat should probably be avoided in the future.  Instead after you take your breather, since you and your DH are on the same page, I would put your DH in charge of seating his mom, sister, etc at the next gathering and before they sit down - so that you avoid another uncomfortable exchange and get the seating arrangement you want.  I agree there is probably more to this, such as a power play and/or an entitled MIL mindset.   You have my sympathies.
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