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I am about to enter a new chapter of my life. Retirement. I've made this decision without any of the angst or discomfort that I thought I would feel. People I know that have retired before me have said that I "will know when it is time". I know without reservation that it is indeed.....TIME. I have held a job not a career in the public school system for over 25 years. It is my turn to move on and move out and make room for the younger generation to take over. It is now my opportunity to slow the pace and as they say and "smell the roses". I am looking forward to enjoying the things that I love but have not had time to do and try my hand at few new prospects too. I've been working nearly 50 years, starting with my first babysitting job at 12 years old; I'm done. I am well aware that I am one of the lucky ones, my husband of 41 years is alive and well and we enjoy spending time together. My 88 year old mother is doing great too but now needs a bit more help these days. She is sweet and kind and funny and it will be a pleasure spending more time with her. Frankly, I can not wait for my new life to begin. My daughter and her family are relocating. They are coming home and I will help her part time with childcare. I am thrilled; finally my three grandchildren will all be nearby. I have a large extended family, many interests and hobbies and a few good friends. How fortunate I am to be retiring on my own terms and not have to terminate due to illness or position cuts. My last day of work was just over a week ago and it has been a whirlwind of events ever since. This has been the long goodbye if I ever saw one. Between the end of the school year activities, tearful congratulations and my retirement party I am definitely "feeling the love"! People keep asking me how I feel and honestly all I can say is "I don't know", I have never felt this way before. I have never, in my adult life at least, known what it is like not to have to go to work. I just can't put a label on how I feel.
A favorite quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt keeps coming to mind though,
"Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason turn his back on life.
Yes, we made our first trip with granddaughter to the zoo; not sure what/how mom had been preparing her but all the way down (it's in the next city over - couple hour trip away) she kept talking about what she wanted to see
But...first, we - well, most of us - glad the snake house was shut down - but then we first went to the bird area - uh, not interested, except a little in the house where you can actually feed them and they'll come sit on your shoulder but she still wasn't too interested
Then the primate house - did I say monkeys? - but she not too interested in those either
And I was actually getting a little concerned we - the adults - were going to get too hot and tired by then and want to leave before she even got to see what she really wanted - maybe that's a thought for grandparents taking grandchildren, maybe depending on age - she's 3, will be 4 in October - do you really have to see everything?
But we stopped at the safari café - the outdoor eating place - well, it's under shelter, but no A/C but then it wouldn't be a zoo, would it? and got drinks - remember we're down south - they ran out of sweet tea! oh no so I went back and stood in line to no response until I finally called for a mgr. and got someone to refill it - ok, now we good to go again - oh did have a little incident but we trucked on - and was so worth it all - when - oh wait, we did see the hippo, no good either - but!
when we finally got to the elephants! then she lit up - was indeed so worth it - she loved it -
had thought she'd like the camels and they were even offering rides although we didn't pay the extra for that - maybe because she didn't seem interested -
and then the giraffes - oh yes, sorry, think that's what she'd said she wanted to see -
no, not too interested in the lions either -
tigers not too bad - didn't know they loved water - but...
the zebras...! she wanted to bring one home with her but she was okay with letting it stay there - but she was so fascinated by that striped creature!
we were afraid that we would have taken so long that that's what she would remember but at least she got to see the good stuff last so - no - she kept saying she had so much fun! it was such a good - beautiful day!
and, oh, just to kinda go along with some things that are mentioned in the forums different places - this is how that went down - she posted on FB (dil - and yes, we're FB friends, for now - it comes and goes and I rarely mention; often don't even notice if I've gotten busy with other things both there and in rl but things are better now, as in she's feeling better, not that our relationship necessarily changes but can somewhat go up and down depending on how she's feeling and I've somewhat learned, from her, to just roll with it and not really have any expectations, just take what I get and appreciate it - was it here talk about "mismatched expectations" - anyway - she posted about special deal days there and them wanting to go - and then also did mention it on the phone or in person when we talked and somewhere in all this I think I did mention was it something that, since she was mentioning it, did she want or at least not mind us going as well or was this something for just them to do, which would have been fine or even actually last weekend hub had something he'd actually gotten obligated for and with having just found out about it at that point he was not going to cancel, especially because other arrangements to take his place would have had to have been made and he wasn't going to put them in that position for something he'd just found out about, that they hadn't already made plans earlier about but....don't remember why but they ended up not going anyway so when it began to come up again for yesterday, at least it was something he already knew about and didn't have any obligations for, so even though didn't actually ask him until the night before, somewhat because after he'd spent the past 2 nights involved in the same thing - one is a monthly, one is a weekly that he doesn't do every week, not sure why he did that night - guess he felt time to include in family something, especially if it was involving that little granddaughter, especially her first trip to the zoo! also another factor that might have played a part (might?) in our going was son's having vehicle issues that really didn't need to make the trip in it; however, he could probably have taken ours (enmeshment? anyway); he has before for things but he doesn't really like to ask for something like that, especially, so not sure if felt obligated for us to go if they were going to take her but certainly hub by that point wanted to but they didn't have to let us or have to go but it didn't really feel totally like that when we went; we all seemed to enjoy being together and not even just being with granddaughter because, to address another issue that's often brought up - I at least do enjoy being with son as well and I'd like to think hub does as well, though not quite the way I would like but that's another issue and could be another one of those "expectation" things but all in all I think we all felt like we had a very "beautiful" day!
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I always tell my friends that life is a process, not an event. Sure, the process may be made up of events, but ultimately it's the road we travel that gets us to our destination. Where would we be without those "events"?
For 2 1/2 years now I have been more than just a babysitter to my three grandchildren and they have been more than just my charges. The youngest one, a little boy, came into my care at 8 weeks. First it was about 40 hours a week, then about 20, and more recently 40 again. He is as close to me as if he were mine. Closer in some ways. And I love him unconditionally. And his mom has lost her job and while she is out of work she won't need me to watch him. And if things turn out the way that she hopes she will be working for herself nights and weekends and her hubby will be around to take care of "my" little guy. I have so defined myself by this role of caregiver that letting go will be very difficult for me.
Of course there's more - it's me, there's always more. For the same 2 1/2 years I have been watching my two granddaughters. When we began they were 1 and 4. Now at 4 and 6 they, too, have changed immensely. While I don't ever see myself being as close to them as I am to my grandson (because of some things that happened with my daughter) they, too, define who I am. And the 20 or so hours I spend with them in a week had changed me from who I was to who I am now. But their dad was in a terrible car accident and is just now recovering and beginning to drive. He isn't working and for the first time ever is taking some responsibility for his girls. And his means days without the girls, days with early pick ups, days with only one child.
As I move forward I wonder who the "new" me will be. What will I do with my time? How far away from my amazing little grandchildren will I be (emotional distance)? What comes next.
And with my house still on the market I wonder where, physically, I will be living.
Change.... Necessary I guess but a struggle for me.
While I was driving my granddolls to school this morning, the topic of Halloween came up. All of a sudden, DGD announced, "This is the last year I'm wearing a Halloween costume. I'm getting too old (she's 10)."
Ohh... A bitter-sweet moment to see her growing up this way. (Not more of a jolt than when she proclaimed a few months ago, that she didn't want any more dolls. She still plays w/ the ones she has, from time to time, but says she's "outgrowing" them and is "too old" - that expression again! - for any others.) I understand b/c I began to feel the same way around her age (yes, about dolls, too). It was hard for DM to take, as, I suppose, I was growing up "too quickly" for her.YDD is having a hard time w/ DGD's new attitude, also, especially perhaps, b/c she continued to wear Halloween costumes way into adulthood, even when she no longer trick or treated (so did her sister.) But she (YDD) is accepting it, thankfully, in a way that it took DM longer to do.
In fact, come to think of it, I was thrown a little off base when I saw how my DDs clung to some of the activities I gave up/began to give up at an earlier age (though I, too, accepted that their time table was different than mine).. I guess it can be hard to realize that your kids don't feel the same way about this/that as you (general parent) do/did as a child. Oh hey, I'm even having a little bit of a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that DGD's timetable is a little more like mine and, in those respects, she's maturing faster than my own girls did.
Interestingly enough, DGS, 2 years her junior, was upset by it. "Please do it one more year," he entreated after DGD made her announcement. I'm not sure why. Maybe he's loathe to "loose" his T or T partner. Or perhaps he's worried that if she stops after 10, it means he will "have to" do that, too. Maybe it's just too much of a reminder that they're doing that scary thing of growing up and moving onward in life.
"Growing pains," I guess - for both the children and the adults...
I am wondering about something. My son has a friend -since junior high school - who lives a few seconds from our house. Now, my son lives an hour away from here. They now have two kids ( 2 yrs and 1 month). They visit that family often without stopping by at our house or even asking if it's ok to stop by . on facebook I have seen numerous pictures of our granddaughter, son and DIL all dressed up. When they come to our house no pictures are put on facebook and DIL wears jeans with holes etc. Two weeks ago they visited again the friends house and posted a picture of the mother of the friend with the caption: getting some love from Momma --------. At that GD shower people thought of that women being my GD's grandmother and asked me who I was? Don't get me wrong. from day one I have always offered help on anything. Any comments? I think I am going insane. We have been very supportive and understanding in everything DS and DIL wanted to do and did. We love our grandchildren. DIL parents are praised at all times to high heaven by her on Facebook of course. Even my younger son feels left out. HELP
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I feel very fortunate to have known my grandparents on both sides as I grew up. They are close to my heart and mind, even though they have gone to the other side of the veil. I cannot thank them enough for the kindness and love they have shown me.
I would like to share a few of the things I admire about my grandparents and what it has taught me.
My father's parents have a special place in my heart. They lived in Utah, in a small home, where they raised four sons and one daughter. My parents moved about an hour away from my grandparents when I was only four years old, but we made trips to visit with them every month. I remember well their porch swing and the beautiful flower garden. My grandpa worked very hard on his farm raising sheep, chickens and growing a vegetable garden. He also attended college and got a teaching degree. He taught woodworking and metals, and made some very beautiful things with his hands. Grandpa Hugh was a great example and a loving grandfather.
Here are a few of the things he taught me:
- Strive for excellence
- The value of work
- Education is important
- Believe in yourself and the Lord
My paternal grandmother was a small lady with a big heart. She baked some of the tastiest lamb, bread, and cakes ever. She preserved the fruits and vegetables they grew by canning them each summer. I especially loved her pickled beets. She also made yummy jams and jellies. She could serve up a bounteous Thanksgiving feast for all of us. She loved music and had an organ in her home. Grandma Gladys had a wonderful alto voice and I am also an alto. She also loved art and took art classes at a university. I have one of her pastel paintings in my home.
Here are a few of the things she taught me:
- Love of art
- Love of music
- Homemaking skills
- Importance of taking care of yourself (she took a nap every day - lived until 91)
My maternal grandparents also lived Utah, in a small town. They raised my mother and four boys in a very small house. My grandfather was not a healthy person, and struggled to work and take care of his family. He had several operations and was in pain most of the time I knew him, but he kept a garden growing and stored the food in a cellar so they would always have food. He worked as a janitor at the high school for many years, and did his best to provide for his wife and children. Sanpete county raises turkeys, and my grandparents worked together in the turkey plant once the children were older.
What my Grandpa Harold taught me:
- Endurance through trials
- Always prepare for the future
- Family is important
My Grandmother, who I am named after, was an excellent homemaker. She made the most delicious rolls I have tasted! She used the water from the boiled potatoes in the batter. Grandma was very clean, and kept her home immaculate. She was always knitting beautiful afghans, baby clothes, and blankets for friends and family. My wedding dress was made by her too. She had a lovely sense of humor and I loved to hear her laugh. Although Grandpa was often sick, she had a good attitude, and I rarely ever saw her sad and depressed.
What Grandma Ruth taught me:
- Be clean even if you don't have much
- Make the best of your situation
- Handcrafted gifts are best
- Make delicious food for your husband
I look forward to being reunited with my wonderful grandparents in the next life. I often think of them and the things they were able to accomplish during their lifetime. They have left a legacy for all of their offspring to follow.
Greetings Grand Nonna's and Poppa's ,
I enjoyed the winter months and the white holidays , and their ambiance , but most of all my grandchildren . December brought memorable times with my grandson as I bought him ice skating classes , an old fashioned sled, and his one piece long sleeve snow suit of black and blue. It totally rocked to see him feel warm and roll around on either the ice skate ring and or the snow hill. I can only hope this winter his father did not donate it I will chase him down with my rolling pin if he did . Just kidding. Trying to be optimistic, and make humor of some things , my grandson never finished his skate classes as his father pulled him to take him out on the lake and claim to have trained him himself. Glad I can still take him to the rink soon to see how well he learned .
My granddaughter is a plump little 2 1/2 yr old who loves to attend family concerts, took her and daughter to rib fest and to a couple of carnivals with music. She loves dancing and does quite well I must admit. The absent grandfather was notified and has may years of family connecting to work out . While he is taking some interest our darling daughter is not. I pray for unity and peace and forgiveness and that God gives him the wisdom to make up for his abandonment .
As far as the visitation goes I get it for days at a time and then don't for weeks at a time. DD called me today to clue me in on an American Doll doll that came to the resale store she volunteers at and wants me to buy it . With her discount of course... let me dash right on over and purchase it and scat back home and hope you let me be her sitter instead of my grandsons father who enjoys taking my place . No he is not the father of both just the grandson.I no longer acknowledge him per a friends suggestion. So when I arrive to pick the kids up I stay focused on eye contact with only DD , GS, or GD , do not look at him , speak to him , or wave at him. Why ... ok . Well.. GS told me his father has offered him wine. I guess I just am sickened by this loser . Now telling his son he is back to his old job. A photographer. Someday GS will ask his father how to do taxes . Cough cough!
Meanwhile DD is back on track working , enjoying her job and volunteering , hoping to get a place of her own or ... plan to move back home and help get us into a larger home.Sorry I have not
been on here much . Been trying to focus and organize my life love and always on the lookout for a house rental . January is the deadline goal. WIsh me luck! And oh! Happy belated independence day , memorial day , fathers and mother day , easter, valentines day , new year and christmas.
My granddaughter is 4 years old and goes to junior kindergarten. My daughter ( her mother) packs her a beautiful, healthy lunch every day. At this point I have to fill you in. Maia ( the 4 year old) is a slow eater and gets distracted from eating very easily. She is not picky about what she eats but most times just can't be bothered to eat.
Yesterday she came home from junior kindergarten. Her Mommy took her lunchbox . She opened it up and it seems that Maia had literally taken only one bite of her lunch. Yup! One bite. Her mother called me outraged.."what am I going to do with her? she didn't eat at school all day!" When she asked Maia why she didn't eat Maia replied..."Mommy, I was too busy talking".
When I heard her very serious answer I burst out laughing! My daughter was pretty upset that she hadn't eaten but I saw the humor in my little social butterfly being to busy talking to eat. ........ and that is why I am Bubbie and she is Mommy!
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Well, now my grandson is 11years old and in middle school. He still loves to read (huge sigh of relief), but he also LOVES and LIVES to play video games. Especially the kinds that require acute motor skills, quick thinking and multi-tasking. Not the sort of things I’m that great at now that I’m 70 years old. But I do try and he is very encouraging. He squeals with amusement when I get frustrated because my avatar “dies”. He particularly enjoys playing Geometry Dash which made me shudder (thoughts of barely passing math still haunt me) until he explained that it didn’t really involve math skills. No, this game was far more challenging than doing equations.
‘It required navigating thru obstacles and collecting strange things that are valuable and pop up out of nowhere, all while avoiding other strange things that will cause your avatar to “die”. Oh, and I must mention that all this happens at the speed of “wait! What was that? Did I need that? Wait, I’m “dead” again?”
This causes Jeffery to drop on the floor in spasms of uncontrollable giggles. I’m left staring at the blank screen. “Try it again, Grammies!” I told you he was encouraging. After several attempts with Jeffery coaching me, I still can’t master it. I pass the controls over to him, happy for the break.
‘He’s through the first three levels before I realize he’s been “coaching” me with the wrong information.....deliberately sabotaging my efforts for his own amusement. Smart cookie! He realized early on that these games are not my forte. They move way too fast for me....but, I am still an integral part of our “play-time”. I’m comic relief! As a grandma, I am happy and honored to serve!
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I challenge you to defy my claim!
Believe it or not, I am the Queen of Change.
In our marriage of 40 years, we have moved 20 plus times. I have
lived in four different countries and have had over twenty different
While these may not be impressive statistics, especially to a
military person, for a girl who started out in a small rural town, these
may seem like a great deal of changes.
You may think I got relieved from some jobs (fired), but actually I
only got fired once! Mainly, the changes in occupation were necessary
because of relocation.
One of the things that has changed ginormously during those years is
technology. In high school I excelled in shorthand. Now almost obsolete,
it was the most progressive and competitive job ability to have at the
time. I was awarded a certificate for achieving 120 words per minute
taking Gregg shorthand. I used this skill as executive secretary in
three different jobs, and can still take shorthand (albeit much slower)
I also was adept at typing on a manual typewriter speeding at times
up to 100 words per minute. I eventually graduated to a selectric
electric typewriter passing up many job applicants on the timed writing
tests. Just as a side note: I feel that I have digressed somewhat as I
try to text on the tiny keypad of a smart phone. I watch in admiration
as the younger generation deftly maneuver their fingers over miniscule
keyboards on their touch screens.
This typing skill has been used in most of the jobs I have had, even the current one as a freelance writer.
One of the earliest jobs I had was taking medical dictation. In the
laboratory of a hospital, I used a dictaphone which had a large plastic
belt (3.5 inches) loaded onto a cylinder. They called it a “quantum leap
forward” in technology for dictation. A pedal on the floor would speed
up, stop, rewind or fast forward the ribbon as needed. I typed medical
jargon pathologists dictated onto the recording belts and got quite good
at it. Being a medical secretary was one of my favorite occupations.
My first experience with computers was as a keypunch operator. Say,
what? Yes, I took a course to learn to punch holes in cards, which were
then loaded onto a data processing center (early computer) half the size
of a room, which told it what to do. Need I say, we have come a long
Thankfully, we now have personal computers and do not have to hire keypunch operators to tell our computer what to do.
Another of my favorite jobs over the years was wiring integrated
circuits. I got this job right out of high school working for Signetics,
the first electronics manufacturer. Similar to Intel, we made
microprocessors, but we did it all by hand with gold wire, whilst
looking through a microscope. Once the skill was refined and became
automatic, we had some great times keeping up with the latest gossip. I
remember getting $2.85 per hour for wiring chips and thought I was big
(Maybe that is what sparked my newest hobby making wire-wrapped jewelry).
One of my numerous jobs was shelfing books in a library. I learned the
Dewey Decimal System (alphanumeric code), and enjoyed the challenge of
getting the books in the proper section, and in the right order. Later
while working in a university, I became aware of the ISBN system
(International Standard Book Number) used for ordering textbooks. Now,
when I want a book, I just download it onto my Kindle, which can hold a
plethora of information. Amazing and convenient!
Long before Viagra erupted, I worked in a Urology clinic. It was one of
my more interesting vocations. I assisted a physician in catheterizing
men and women. I was also trained to take x-rays of women’s bladders. I
was trained to take urologic x-rays. I inserted a catheter through their
urethra, filled their bladder with dye-tinted fluid, took an x-ray, and
then had them void before taking another x-ray. The purpose of this was
to see if their ureters were blocked by kidney stones or a constriction
and other such problems. I know catheters have improved dramatically
since then and that you can even urinate through your belly button as an
alternative way to be relieved (through a stoma).
Lest you think I'm lying....
Other occupations I have had (besides those talked about above):
- Executive Secretary at Bonham Corporation.
- Data Entry for Continuing Education at a university in Hawaii
- Avon Lady (twice)
- Saleswoman at a department store in American Samoa
- Substitute teacher in high school in Tonga
- Payroll clerk in Tonga
- Saleslady for Melaleuca
- Marketing for Fine Arts Department at a university in Hawaii
- Graphic artist making brochures for various companies.
- Worked for an optician setting up appointments, ordering glasses and measuring pupillary distance.
- Worked at Teta Tours (General Sales Agent for Hawaiian Airlines) in Tonga
- Freelance writer (currently) at beachcomberpete.com
- Freelance artist elayne.imagekind.com
My favorite occupation of all was that of being a mother. My
four children taught me infinately more than I learned at all of my
other jobs. Although the pay was not so great, the rewards have
certainly been the best.
Now that I am approaching retirement, I reflect on the great experiences I have had on and off the job.
Each profession has infinitely increased my understanding and expertise.
As a senior, I find that technology changes so fast, it can be very
hard to keep up. However, I might be considered a progressive since I am
on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and other social network
sites, much to the chagrin of my children. However, I have an undeniable
curiosity and hope to be able to follow the latest trends in technology
to keep my mind sharp.
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What a couple of Twists, Turns and Blessings I have just had! Let me explain. It was pointed out to me in writing my original blog, I had put too much personal information ~out there~ about my granddaughter. I immediately saw the danger in it, and in a panic, took my blog down. As most of you know, I am not Internet savvy at all, and believing what I was doing was helping other grandparents who are in my shoes, or looking down the barrel of being in them, I bared my soul and that of my beautiful granddaughter. A woman told me that she knew of a teacher who gave her class an assignment to Google their names and see how much information they could find out about themselves. Yes, I will tell my granddaughter the Truth when it is time, but I will NOT inadvertently put her in danger of being hurt because of my ignorance. With the help of the wonderful editorial staff here, I decided to begin my blog again, only THIS time I will NOT use my granddaughter's name. I never want her to be embarrassed because of something I have done out of ignorance or unintentional reasons. She deserves her privacy more than anyone after what she has been through. She doesn't deserve teasing, peer pressure, or embarrassment because of my choices. I will continue to tell our Truths, our story, as personal as I can without divulging personal information about her. It takes a village to raise a child, and I can only hope the folks in our village here, continue to help me raise mine. Instead of starting over, I will try to pick up where I left off, while at the same time going back to the beginning for those of you who didn't get a chance to read how it all began.In doing so, I will hope and pray my message to other grandparents gets ~out there~ ; if I can do this YOU can do this and you can do it better! You are NOT alone. I am here for you.
Blessings on the Wind..........
I hate to admit that I don't know much about his basketball highlights. I really don't. But it always seems that I hear a great
quote, or search on a topic and find a quote by Coach Wooden.
That's how I found this quote. On one of my wild Google chases looking for a quote to support some thoughts that are heavy on my heart. You see, making a living and making a life has been on my mind a lot lately. I found myself recently reverting to some old habits of becoming too focused on work. I was putting some of my core values to the side. My creativity time had dwindled to nothing. I wasn't spending much time outside enjoying nature.
Here were two core values that I had promised myself two years ago that I would not neglect, and here I was putting them on the side burner because I was "too tired" at the end of the day.
Do you find yourself not doing things you absolutely love because you let other things get in the way? I can only encourage you
(and fingers are pointing back at myself) to make a plan and not let that happen. Don't live in regrets.
You see, I've been praying for a dear woman I work with that was taken to the hospital with chest pains. As my mom said, her priorities just changed. My mom can speak with authority in that subject. Her stroke in September 2012 gave her that right. When you are faced with staring life in the face you have a wake up call. That's what my mom said last year. That's also what my dad said when he had his heart attack.
Why does it take the catastrophic life event to knock us to our senses? My prayer is that I can be a wise person filled with the knowledge of what others are going through and have gone through and take positive actions in my own life. Living Life According to Your Core Values
Life is not about making a living.
Life is not about the bank balance.
Life is not about the social status.
Life is not about the tangible items that can so easily be destroyed or taken away.
Life is about Living
What are doing to "Live Your Life"?
Do you know your inner most core values and have them clearly defined?
Are you living your life according to those values?
"Don't let making a living prevent you from making a life"~~ Coach Wooden
Hugs and feathers from the nest!
So it's the Grammys tonight. I must confess, I don't remember ever watching a Grammys award show. There was a time, many, many years ago when I could possibly tell what group or individual sang a hit tune. But that was back in the day when you could almost understand the lyrics. And "Oh, baby, baby..." doesn't count! Sure there were the occasional Da-do-ron-ron-rons or Boom-chicka-boom, boom, booms, but those were only fillers, not the majority of the lyrics of a song.
I realize that there's a gap of about 10 years when the boys were growing that all I listened to was nursery rhyme songs, Disney tunes, Tickle Tune Typhoon or Tim Noah. Those were great years....I could sing all of the lyrics and not blush or ruin my vocal chords. But it sure leaves a hole in my Trivial Pursuit entertainment knowledge.
Then, I lived through the 90's and was subjected to rap and whatever else it was the boys were listening to.We could hear Shay's friend driving down the hill, because his radio was cranked up so high. ( I wonder if he has any hearing left at all.) People can't believe me when I said that I had to turn the boys' music off when driving because the monotonous beat put me into a hypnotic trance. I'm sure it was a good thing that I couldn't understand any of what they sang.
So, to my kids and grandkids...I hope you.enjoy your music, because when you get to my age, you'll hear what is playing on your grandkids' ipods (or whatever they'll have their music on) and wonder, "How can kids listen to that? That's not music, it's just crap!" And you, too, will not only turn into your parents, but (hopefully), also your grandparents. It's a good thing.
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I have traded client calls and contracts for binkies and potty training, traded briefcase and thermos for electronic games and basketball. In 2011, unemployed for 12 months, no job prospects in sight, I agreed that my daughter, a nurse, would change her schedule from nights to days. I would babysit her three children: son, Billy, 11 years, son, Cameron, 7 years, daughter, Marissa, 2.5 years.
Being a full time Nana is déjà vu. I was a full time mother for years prior to taking the journey of various career moves. Kids still need the same things to sustain them in life: love, a safe home and good direction. I can fix the boo-boos, repair broken toys, give medicine when ill, and entertain them when they are bored.
Direct supervisor: female, born and raised by me, a product of my parenting. We are of the same mind, with similar life’s goals, same morals and ethics, same governmental ideology and same religious beliefs. She and her husband have entrusted in me their children’s well-being.
Clients: Cameron and Billy who love electronic games, playing basketball in the yard, gymnastics, and driving one another crazy. Enforcing their “time out” is not going to cost me a $5,000 contract! My most important clients look to me for correct answers and knowledge. Their demands are minimum and simple to meet…be fair with them, keep them safe and love them.
Job feedback: instant Marissa who claps, smiles and yells gleefully “I did it” when she is successful with puzzles and games or just making it to the potty on time!
Job benefits: Cameron runs in the house from school breathlessly talking a mile-a-minute about his day, breathing once to ask “Nana, can I have a snack? And do hammerhead sharks live near the Cape?” Or when tiny little arms wrap around my neck and she whispers in an angelic voice, “I love you Nana” while rocking her at nap time. Or when my 11 year old grandson can honestly beat me at Scrabble and ask for a rematch.
Job recognition: being told I can actually still play “decent D” against my Billy during a game of one-on-one. I hear, “Not bad Nana”!
Breaks: half hour, cold lunch in car replaced with healthy hot lunch, at kitchen table shared with Marissa who simply wants “pasta with shaker cheese please”. We talk of baby dolls, seashells, birds flying and pretty dresses. Fifteen minute morning and afternoon breaks now self-directed at my leisure, sitting near the sand box in yard with a hot cup of coffee watching Marissa play.
New assignments: learning about electronic games and receiving a refresher course in shooting best layup shots and free throws. Memorize all the Disney Princesses names.
Job review: “Thanks for doing all the laundry Mom, thanks for watching the boys while they were sick, thanks for helping the baby learn to use the potty, and thanks for being you”. No glass ceiling to worry about here.
Great location, schedule is three days per week, great benefits, walks on the beach weather permitting, long lunches, frequent breaks, free living quarters, instant job reviews, high client retention, job security, no commute, vacations at least 3 weeks per year. Casual attire required.
Stress level reduced from 125% to 40%...
I'm at the point of recognizing that Dani, whom I've raised for almost 19 years, is pretty much grown up. This may sound like a 'duh' conclusion, but when you have been the Nana, mother, father, sister, aunt, friend, advocate and ally, the realization can hit hard. On every front, I've seen Dani suffer mightily through grief and loss, while succeeding beyond anyone's expectations. Now that she's juggling work and fun for the summer, I need to make the most of our passing encounters. My roles have diminished to only three - Nana, friend and ally. We are once again establishing boundaries, creating an adult relationship between us. What a relief to see the finish line in sight. Until only two years ago I wondered if this moment would ever happen. Finally, it's here. She is a beautiful and talented young woman. I am a wise and grateful Nana. This miracle didn't happen overnight or without tremendous pain and hard work. Would I change a minute? Absolutely not. We are proof that the single-minded devotion of a Nana, whose heart beats in tandem with her grandchild, can win despite the obstacles. Love Conquers All.
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Our great grandaughter has been asked to visit her paternal grandparents in another state. They are willing to pay for her ticket to and from their state. The problem is she is only 6 yrs old and would be on the plane by herself with an airline person accompanying her. Her parents don't seem to have a problem..but the maternal grandparents frown on this mode of traveling for a young child as do I. It seems you hear about children getting left behind or put on the wrong plane frequently and this raises safety concerns..our grandchildren are our precious possessions and we don't want any type of harm coming to them..Are we being overly cautious regarding this arrangement?
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I am a grandmother for the first time, he's a gorgeous baby boy, 9 months old now. My problem is in my state (KY) im being told more times that i care to count that what i say and think doesnt matter. CPS here, because of my grandsons other grandparents made my daughter and their son leave their house (positive drug test) and the worker at the insistance of the other grandparents made my daughter leave her child there. They then had her (worker) implement a no contact order and my daughter hasnt seen or held her baby since Jan. (Sorry long story) any way we all (grandparents) were made to take a drug test as well, the other grandparents have tested positive and ours was negative and the baby is still in that environment. Their reason for wanting to keep the baby there with them is out of pure spite and for the resources they get from the state. My reason for wanting to have him is to have him in a safe loving environment and eventaully reunite my daughter with her child. not their reason... alot more to tell but it drags out. my question is does anyone know who i can reach out to in my area that can help me continue this to get my grandson out of there??? No one seems to want to talk with me in the system and lawyers will for a minute then tell me if I pay them an ungodly amount of money they can do it. I dont have those sorts of funds just laying around. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.. I'm hoping someone can direct me or tell who i can talk with to help with this situation.
grandma in ky
This is the final post of The Making of a "Popsidoodle." As the weeks have gone by since its inception I have found myself increasingly drawn to writing an all poetry blog, and my interest moving toward a canvas wider than "Popsidoodle" afforded me. I thank those who have visited this blog and I invite you to find my work now at my new site: www.ferencepoems.wordpress.com. I end here with a story I believe captures something of the spirit of The Making of a "Popsidoodle."
Elizabeth and I were kicking back in her room and riding the drafts of imagination wherever they took us. As this particular story unfolded, we were sitting next to her small desk and cutting up downy feathers from a craft variety pack of goodies. I, regrettably, was big-time antsy, a sciatic nerve challenging me to find a comfortable position on one of her child-sized, wooden chairs. Nonetheless, I was enjoying the easy banter and the sudden twists and turns that often come when Elizabeth has taken the lead. We were cutting the feathers up into small bits, as I recall, to create a soft article of clothing for an imaginary store that we were stocking.
Well, the bag of feathers was a fairly large one and after a while I thought that maybe we had enough cut feathers for the purpose at hand, but she informed me that wasn't the case and so we continued to cut. A little later I again raised that same possibility, and that maybe her room was getting a little bit messy, with fluffy down, by then, flying everywhere. I further threw in the consideration that her parents might be displeased if we cut up all the feathers. Elizabeth didn't even look up at me but continued to cut. Finally, as we just about reached the bottom of the bag and I had thrown out my last obsessive gambit, the philosopher in Elizabeth announced with a thoughtful expression, "You know, life is more important than feathers."
I'm not sure what Elizabeth had in mind when she uttered those words, but they have stuck in my mind and say much to me about the art and spirituality of grandparenting. Her brief statement points to the value of presence, given and received; of honor and respect, freely shared between generations; of appreciation for the here and now, simple and ordinary; of surrender to the Love calling to us in each, non-repeatable moment. Grandparenting is awesome. May all grandparents reading this find it to be so.
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Hello all, I am new to Grandparents.com and wanted say how much I have enjoyed reading through this site today. I am a 45 year old (recently) retired police officer (22 yrs experience). I am married to a wonderful woman (Jaci) and have 4 boys, ages 8 (Cameron), 14 (Chandler), 15 (Joey), 17 (Auston). My family is everything to me. Back in November while working my "beat", I was forced to take the life of a mentally ill man. I took this really hard and subsequently, decided to leave the force. I was in a really bad place and depressed. But let me digress, I lost both sets of my grandparents in the late 80's and early 90's and have also lost my mother to cancer in 2005 and then my father to a heart attack in 2008. I miss all of them, dearly. Needless to say, they were all very important in my life. I have old photos of them in my house, and on occasion I tell my sons some of the many stories I remember about my grandparents. It makes me sad that none of my children were able to meet them and it makes me even sadder to think that they do not have "their own" grandparents any longer. I oftentimes wonder if they will remember them, as they were so young when my parents passed away. Getting back to my story about my (former) job... Mentally, I was in a really bad place after "the incident". One night I suddenly awoke for no apparent reason, and remembered a dream that I saw my mother standing at the foot of my bed. I do not recall her saying anything, but when I awoke, I immediately nudged my wife and said, "Remind me in the morning that I have something to tell you." Startled, she demanded that I tell her that instance. I explained to her that I didn't want her to think that I was going crazy, but told her that I thought I saw my mother in my dream and somehow, an amazing idea came to me. I then asked her, "How would you feel about hearing from your grandpa again?" It should be noted that he is no longer with us, either. She looked at me like I was weird, and said "He is dead!, I can't!" Then I asked her again, and added, "What if it was possible, how would you feel about hearing from your grandpa, after he passed away? What if you heard from him on Christmas day (because Christmas was right around the corner at this time), how would you feel?" She said, "It would be awesome, what's your point?" I then told her my idea. What if people created personal voice messages for their loved ones and I saved them until after they passed away. What if they picked which date and to whom their messages would go to and I would deliver it to them on that specific date, directly to their telephone? Think about how amazing it would be to hear from a deceased loved one, months or years after they were gone. Looking at old photos is fine, but wouldn't it be better to hear their voice again? Think about it, do you even remember what they sounded like? How amazing would that be??? What a terrific gift that would be! I have since began a new venture in my life and I call it "Message from Heaven". I have created a business that is affordable to everyone and sheds a positive light on all involved. I did not write this blog in an effort to promote my business, rather, to share my experiences and express my excitement for my newfound quest! If you are at all interested, I invite you to visit my website, www.themessagefromheaven.com, so if you look for it as .net and don't find it, please try the .com version. This is the first blog that I have ever written and plan on adding this post to my site! Thanks and I would love to hear any feed back.
OK, so this may very well be my pet peeve, but I have to know why..... Here goes: I work in the food/customer service industry and sometimes I work an event dealing with money.What I would like to know is why do some customers hand you their money or payment but others set it on the counter. Like today, my register is lower and it is very hard to stretch over and reach the money off the counter. I personally find it rude, am I wrong? The thing is, every customer that puts the money on the counter for payment opens their hand up to receive the change in their hand. Now naturally my thought is to set it on the counter, (what's good for the goose is good for the gander) but out of courtesy and the right thing to do I set it in their hand. Of course today a couple of times I just stood there and repeated the total like I did not see the money so that they would hand it to me. It worked, they begrudgingly handed it to me.
So, please tell me grandparents if you set the money on the counter instead of the cashier or bartenders hand, why? What is the reason behind this, please I would really like to know.
If you are a cashier,bartender or other worker that receives money, tickets, etc. does it bother you that the customer does not put the payment in your hand but expects you to put the change in theirs?
I'm going to be honest not many things bother me, but this does. I am right there my hand is out and the customer still sets it on the counter, but then when I go to give them change, wallah! their hand is there waiting for it, why?
Just a friendly I need to know is all. Appreciate any feedback on this, thanks.
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Hi all. I found this web site on Google search, and so glad I did, I like to
help ppl, and with 8 kids, 14 Grands and 5 Great grands. As it says on my
profile, I have lots of experience. With kids 4 mine, 4 his. I don't believe in
calling them steps. That is degrading. DH's kids love me because they know I
will good up against their Father, or my own kids to protect them. The stories I could tell.
His X even accepted me because she heard from the kids how I stood up for the
kids rights against their father. Will post good and bad stories couple times a day and
would love to read your stories.
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I'm a novelist, writing Paranormal Romance. I've always been a writer but I only decided to publish my stories a couple of years ago. Currently, I'm working Book 3 of my Archangels Creed series (written with Azure Boone), scheduled for release the first week of June.
Hubby and I have been married 27 years, and are incredibly happy together. We have one adult daughter and she has blessed us with three amazing little grandsons. She is bipolar and refuses medication and not long ago we found out she's also an addict (more on both of those issues in a future post).
After a series of relatively minor events that raised red flags, a major event took place and I caught her in a situation where the children were being dangerously neglected. Rather than argue, I just took the children to my house. That was a year and a half ago an she's never even asked to have them back. We're preparing to seek legal custody since it doesn't appear she'll ever make an effort to get to a position where she could care for them again. Who knows how long it will take us to undo some of the damage she inflicted on them.
Now that I have this blog, I'll use it to record our progress. I have another blog at http://kenradaniels.com/blog, which is mostly about my books.
Thanks for taking the time to read!
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WELL HI THERE. I KNOW THAT THIS WILL BE INFORMAL AND TABOO TO SOME BUT I DON'T INTEND TO DUCK MY TAIL AND HIDE. I AM A SINGLE PARENT OF FOUR CHILDREN AGES 14, 13, 12 AND 9. TWO WEEKS AGO I FOUND OUT THAT MY 14 YR OLD DAUGHTER WAS 10 WEEKS PREGNANT AND SCARED TO DEATH. TYPICALLY I CRIED , HELD HER AND BEGAN TALKING ABOUT HER OPTIONS. I HAD TO BE STRONGER THAN I WAS THE DAY THAT I GAVE BIRTH TO MY 1ST BORN, HER. I LOVE NO LESS BECAUSE MISTAKES HAPPEN.
WE GO INTO THE NEAREST TEEN CLINIC AND SIGN IN TO HAVE THIS CONFIRMED. HOPING THERE WAS AN ERROR IN THE TEST, MAYBE THE SIGN THAT I SAW I BLEW WAY OUT OF THE WATER . THEY CALLED HER NAME MY HEART POUNDED IN MY EARS. I HEARD NOTHING. I JUST SAW THE DOOR CLOSE BEHIND HER. SHE CHOSE TO GO TO THE BACK ALONE SO I WAITED LIKE A NERVOUS TEEN IN THE LOBBY. TWENTY MINUTES PASSED AND SHE WALKS OUT AND SAYS "MAMA COME TO THE BACK" I REPLY "SO? WAS IT POSITIVE? AND SHE SAYS YES. ALL I COULD THINK THEN WAS "LORD HELP US. IT IS NOT EASY PROVIDING FOR THEM. WHAT WILL I DO WITH THIS BABY? I SAID ABORTION IMMEDIATELY AND SHE SAID OKAY. I THOUGHT I FELT SOME RELIEF.
THE NEXT DAY OR SO WE ACCUMULATE THE MONEY, LOCATE A CENTER FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS AND MAKE TAKE THE NEXT SLOT OPEN (1 PM THE NEXT DAY). THE REST THAT DAY WAS SO PEACEFUL. WE HAVE NEVER GOTTEN ALONG SO WELL. ONE HOUR BEFORE THE APPT. WE WERE TALKING AND SHE SAYS "MAMA I DON'T THINK I WANT AN ABORTION" OK WAIT SURELY I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT I THOUGHT I HEARD. I COULD ONLY SAY THINK ABOUT IT SOME MORE. WE ARRIVE TO THE CENTER. SHE GOES BACK AFTER ABOUT 30 MINS OF SITTING. THEY REQUESTED THAT SHE COMES FIRST WITHOUT ME AND THEN THEY WOULD CALL ME IN. I FELL ASLEEP IT TOOK SO LONG.
I FINALLY HEAR MY NAME AND I RUN BACK. LONG STORY SHORT SHE DECLINED SERVICES SO NOW I'M AN UNEXPECTED EXPECTING NUNU (GRANDMA). I HEARD THAT LITTLE HEARTBEAT AND I FELT LIKE I DID THE FIRST TIME I HEARD HERS. WHAT'S NEXT?