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GrandNonna's Blog

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About this blog

My Relationship With my Grandchildren

Entries in this blog

GrandNonna

My 2015 In Review

Greetings Grand Nonna's and Poppa's ,

I enjoyed the winter months and the white holidays , and their ambiance , but most of all my grandchildren . December brought memorable times with my grandson as I bought him ice skating classes , an old fashioned sled, and his one piece long sleeve snow suit of black and blue. It totally rocked to see him feel warm and roll around on either the ice skate ring and or the snow hill. I can only hope this winter his father did not donate it I will chase him down with my rolling pin if he did . Just kidding. Trying to be optimistic, and make humor of some things , my grandson never finished his skate classes as his father pulled him to take him out on the lake and claim to have trained him himself. Glad I can still take him to the rink soon to see how well he learned .

My granddaughter is a plump little 2 1/2 yr old who loves to attend family concerts, took her and daughter to rib fest and to a couple of carnivals with music. She loves dancing and does quite well I must admit. The absent grandfather was notified and has may years of family connecting to work out . While he is taking some interest our darling daughter is not. I pray for unity and peace and forgiveness and that God gives him the wisdom to make up for his abandonment .

As far as the visitation goes I get it for days at a time and then don't for weeks at a time. DD called me today to clue me in on an American Doll doll that came to the resale store she volunteers at and wants me to buy it . With her discount of course... let me dash right on over and purchase it and scat back home and hope you let me be her sitter instead of my grandsons father who enjoys taking my place . No he is not the father of both just the grandson.I no longer acknowledge him per a friends suggestion. So when I arrive to pick the kids up I stay focused on eye contact with only DD , GS, or GD , do not look at him , speak to him , or wave at him. Why ... ok . Well.. GS told me his father has offered him wine. I guess I just am sickened by this loser . Now telling his son he is back to his old job. A photographer. Someday GS will ask his father how to do taxes . Cough cough!

Meanwhile DD is back on track working , enjoying her job and volunteering , hoping to get a place of her own or ... plan to move back home and help get us into a larger home.Sorry I have not

been on here much . Been trying to focus and organize my life love and always on the lookout for a house rental . January is the deadline goal. WIsh me luck! And oh! Happy belated independence day , memorial day , fathers and mother day , easter, valentines day , new year and christmas.

GN

GrandNonna

The past 8 months

So times sure flys when we keep busy at least it is that way for me and I have sure kept myself busy intentionally to pass the months and make the days end sooner to rest and to get back up daily and be busy again. It fills the gap of time and eases the pain of being alienated so here is how I have handled and managed. As some may know I was attending court on a monthly basis to have visitation ordered. Well... tonight I am offering up some sound advise from experience so if there are any questions let me know in the forum perhaps I can help those in my shoes to help save wasted time and money .

My award from a car accident came by late December and of course it was spend for the cause with lots of hope faith and charity , as I completely indulged and remained calm , cool , collected , respectful , loving, nurturing, and basically hid my pain . Not one month went by where either my DD showed up in family court without an attitude and when she didn't show up, we all missed the suspense of what we would deal with if and when she walked through the chamber doors. The judge was told off and basically told how annoying he is to her and to stop backing her into a corner. And the judge told DD that SHE was backing everyone else into a corner, and that HE will decide when GN can visit not her and that HE makes the rules as to when GN will have time with her grandchildren.He appointed a GAL but that didn't work because no appointments were able to be set as DD decided to leave with her baby girl and live on a farm in other states and come back when she felt like it. GAL was baffled no appointments were kept .

Her boy was stuck with his father who is not in recovery for his mental illness so of course unloads on the child and me too when I brought my GS his favorite homemade dish . It was a short visit in June and I was rushed off the property by the father claiming he's got alot to get off his chest ,I welcomed an ADULT conversation away from the GS and tried hard to make him stop yelling at me in front of him but he wouldn't stop , my GS became tearful and began to cry to his father who refused to answer him when he said can "she" meaning me , watch me when you go bowling ? He demanded an answer . Yeah yeah! His father said. I could not bear to see my GS hold the sides of his head wishing his father would stop yelling. And you can't do anything unless you have witness. But I am still waiting for him to go to the bowling alley. It is painful when I have to look on FB to see my grand kids with the other GP's . I have pleaded with the other Grandmother who says she wont get involved .Her son is out of control. He took the child to Paris just up and left for 6 weeks in April.

I still have this dumbfounded blank in my brain wondering why good is treated bad and why hate is filled with love. I could never feel content with myself if I knew any of the other grandparents were left out in the cold for a grandchild . I guess that was also why I got in touch after locating the X's number.

I'm not going to court anymore as of this week since no one really has a clue what to do , and even though DD is in contempt , I could never have her brought in . Nope sorry that isn't how we treat our kids. I found my DD's fathers phone number which had not been used in 10 yrs so I figured I'd call and see if he can call her and reunite himself, and tell her to come home to live with me . I told him he is a grandfather , and he said WHOA! I got an email to send him some pictures and the nosey GN that I am , looked his town up where he said he moved . Nice big home on a golf course with a 500 SF garage . Wow if only I didn't have a meltdown when he left us but is it worth the abuse he shelled out ? Nope. He said he was happy and I somehow thought to myself the word pathetic narscissist .

He is into himself , his money , material items and no one else . 9 yrs ago the last time he saw our daughter , he told her that his wife is not sexy but she is organized. I briefly strolled back down memory lane and recall this guy never once said he was sorry and how can he make up for anything he has done in the past . Like hitting , arguing with the Dr before our child was born to tie my tubes since you're going to have her opened up anyway he said. And vowed to marry me if I did the procedure . If they had only not givin me that relaxing shot before rolling me to surgery I would have more kids today but ... I just have the one .Then he left us 90 days later. Anyway , I had hopes to help my DD heal since she never had a Dad and he admitted he was never there for her while building his empire with the Mrs. They ( DD and her father are both alike) and it amazes me how genetics work because DD is the exact as her Dad from heart to brain. So may they enjoy the reunion and may she see herself in him and if she don't like what she sees maybe she will change herself after a close up look at herself in her dad.How he will treat her and how she is going to not like some of his antics . It will surface from him to her . I'll be here if she gets hurt. I love her .

So the story goes, there is no real law that makes any grandparent visitation rights happen at all. The lawyer who I hired wrote the law but never showed up in court not once after telling me he would fight for me . He charges associate rates for his non associate new lawyers .I now have to pay the bill down and stop going back to try. My latest pass times have been spent in the kitchen preparing hearty meals to freeze for the winter. Rich chili, airtight fresh peeled peaches for some awesome winter cobblers home cooked spaghetti sauce , meat sauce, chicken and dumplings and beef stew with all organic fresh veggies because who knows maybe by one snowy winter day my grandkids will be here to enjoy these fine meals .

My tomatoe plant got knocked down during one of the storms that put the electric out but I revived them and they are starting to blossom again. The mint tree is tall the basil is picked every other day and frozen and my gladiolus are so slow to bloom but I did get some gorgeous flowers out of it . Will share with you . So if anyone has questions on GP visitation please save yourself the money and go in pro se because once you involve yourself your going to wish you had taken a vacation someplace else .Get a fee waver . I myself cant travel without family but that's just me . If ya ask me, the lawyer who wrote the visitation law was thinking about the emotional side effect on people and how much money he can make off of that . Sad isn't it? I will heal . But while I heal I am losing precious time with my grand babies.

GrandNonna

We have a hearing on this date so I am hopeful ! Again.... I am making notes as to why I feel it is damaging to my grandson not allowed to know me , I asked what happens in this hearing . My lawyer said the two lawyers will argue , I will be intitled to approach the bench and answer questions that the judge may have for me .

GN

GrandNonna

Soon to see my Grandchildren!

GrandNonna

It has been a very long heart breaking 11 months since my daughter and her friends threatened my relationship with not only my grandson, but my new granddaughter as well. So much has happened and here is where I am. I searched attorneys based on fee's and I have one more payment to go to pay my added bill off . We go to court on Oct 23. I lost my visitation case the first time because my daughter moved back with my grandsons father but we were then able to file an amendment because during this time she had another child from another relationship she involved herself in. Next week all of this will be addressed based on both children. It is an expensive and very stressful journey. I hope my grandson remembers me , I have many photos from our special times . I hope to have a wonderful future with both .

I know my granddaughter will adjust and I know that the same situation will not happen since the courts are involved but my grandson , I pray he remembers me and is eager to get back on track. We have gords to paint, last years Christmas gifts to open, his birthday and mine to celebrate, all al holidays missed in between.

I can't wait to cook for him some of his favorites as well as give him his bed buddy bear that lights up stars all over the room. I have to replace his land of knod items as his mothers second relationship boyfriend gave them away. I joined a Moms group and plan on interacting with new friends who have kids the same age. I'll be looking for a couple of car seats. It pains me that the other side grandparents supported and provided legal counsel to their son and my daughter to fight with me. All I wanted was everyone to get along. Will keep everyone interested , posted.

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