So times sure flys when we keep busy at least it is that way for me and I have sure kept myself busy intentionally to pass the months and make the days end sooner to rest and to get back up daily and be busy again. It fills the gap of time and eases the pain of being alienated so here is how I have handled and managed. As some may know I was attending court on a monthly basis to have visitation ordered. Well... tonight I am offering up some sound advise from experience so if there are any questions let me know in the forum perhaps I can help those in my shoes to help save wasted time and money .
My award from a car accident came by late December and of course it was spend for the cause with lots of hope faith and charity , as I completely indulged and remained calm , cool , collected , respectful , loving, nurturing, and basically hid my pain . Not one month went by where either my DD showed up in family court without an attitude and when she didn't show up, we all missed the suspense of what we would deal with if and when she walked through the chamber doors. The judge was told off and basically told how annoying he is to her and to stop backing her into a corner. And the judge told DD that SHE was backing everyone else into a corner, and that HE will decide when GN can visit not her and that HE makes the rules as to when GN will have time with her grandchildren.He appointed a GAL but that didn't work because no appointments were able to be set as DD decided to leave with her baby girl and live on a farm in other states and come back when she felt like it. GAL was baffled no appointments were kept .
Her boy was stuck with his father who is not in recovery for his mental illness so of course unloads on the child and me too when I brought my GS his favorite homemade dish . It was a short visit in June and I was rushed off the property by the father claiming he's got alot to get off his chest ,I welcomed an ADULT conversation away from the GS and tried hard to make him stop yelling at me in front of him but he wouldn't stop , my GS became tearful and began to cry to his father who refused to answer him when he said can "she" meaning me , watch me when you go bowling ? He demanded an answer . Yeah yeah! His father said. I could not bear to see my GS hold the sides of his head wishing his father would stop yelling. And you can't do anything unless you have witness. But I am still waiting for him to go to the bowling alley. It is painful when I have to look on FB to see my grand kids with the other GP's . I have pleaded with the other Grandmother who says she wont get involved .Her son is out of control. He took the child to Paris just up and left for 6 weeks in April.
I still have this dumbfounded blank in my brain wondering why good is treated bad and why hate is filled with love. I could never feel content with myself if I knew any of the other grandparents were left out in the cold for a grandchild . I guess that was also why I got in touch after locating the X's number.
I'm not going to court anymore as of this week since no one really has a clue what to do , and even though DD is in contempt , I could never have her brought in . Nope sorry that isn't how we treat our kids. I found my DD's fathers phone number which had not been used in 10 yrs so I figured I'd call and see if he can call her and reunite himself, and tell her to come home to live with me . I told him he is a grandfather , and he said WHOA! I got an email to send him some pictures and the nosey GN that I am , looked his town up where he said he moved . Nice big home on a golf course with a 500 SF garage . Wow if only I didn't have a meltdown when he left us but is it worth the abuse he shelled out ? Nope. He said he was happy and I somehow thought to myself the word pathetic narscissist .
He is into himself , his money , material items and no one else . 9 yrs ago the last time he saw our daughter , he told her that his wife is not sexy but she is organized. I briefly strolled back down memory lane and recall this guy never once said he was sorry and how can he make up for anything he has done in the past . Like hitting , arguing with the Dr before our child was born to tie my tubes since you're going to have her opened up anyway he said. And vowed to marry me if I did the procedure . If they had only not givin me that relaxing shot before rolling me to surgery I would have more kids today but ... I just have the one .Then he left us 90 days later. Anyway , I had hopes to help my DD heal since she never had a Dad and he admitted he was never there for her while building his empire with the Mrs. They ( DD and her father are both alike) and it amazes me how genetics work because DD is the exact as her Dad from heart to brain. So may they enjoy the reunion and may she see herself in him and if she don't like what she sees maybe she will change herself after a close up look at herself in her dad.How he will treat her and how she is going to not like some of his antics . It will surface from him to her . I'll be here if she gets hurt. I love her .
So the story goes, there is no real law that makes any grandparent visitation rights happen at all. The lawyer who I hired wrote the law but never showed up in court not once after telling me he would fight for me . He charges associate rates for his non associate new lawyers .I now have to pay the bill down and stop going back to try. My latest pass times have been spent in the kitchen preparing hearty meals to freeze for the winter. Rich chili, airtight fresh peeled peaches for some awesome winter cobblers home cooked spaghetti sauce , meat sauce, chicken and dumplings and beef stew with all organic fresh veggies because who knows maybe by one snowy winter day my grandkids will be here to enjoy these fine meals .
My tomatoe plant got knocked down during one of the storms that put the electric out but I revived them and they are starting to blossom again. The mint tree is tall the basil is picked every other day and frozen and my gladiolus are so slow to bloom but I did get some gorgeous flowers out of it . Will share with you . So if anyone has questions on GP visitation please save yourself the money and go in pro se because once you involve yourself your going to wish you had taken a vacation someplace else .Get a fee waver . I myself cant travel without family but that's just me . If ya ask me, the lawyer who wrote the visitation law was thinking about the emotional side effect on people and how much money he can make off of that . Sad isn't it? I will heal . But while I heal I am losing precious time with my grand babies.