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IndyPawPaw's Blog

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Grandson with PawPaw for over 4 years



Help, I am in Indiana, let me try and sum everything up easy. My Grandson has lived with me for over 4 years now, the reason was mother (my Daughter) couldn't handle nor did she have means to provide for him. She was living with her mother at the time she also has another child my granddaughter who has lived with my ex the whole time, ( mother lives with them now but has moved out a time or two druing the last 5 years) . we will call grandson D, though out the 4 years he has lived with me she has only lived with me for about 2 weeks, total. and that's been well over 3 1/2 years ago.. she has been on and off drugs the whole time, all she cares about is having a boyfriend and running around. about a year or so from the time he moved in with us she got prego again. at that time she decided she was going to give the baby up at that time I sat her down and told her if she was for sure 100% going ot give up the baby then I would take the baby and raise it as my own. her words was ( I don't want another child I cant take care of another child I dont care where it goes. I want nothing to do with it. she had an abortion right before this child she was getting ready to give up, the only reason she didn't with my 3 grand child was she didn't have the money and it was to late she was to far along. so she agreeded I would take the baby we went to court and did all the right paper work to get me full Gardianship of the child prior to birth, with the plan to adopt after the baby has lived with me a few years,. well that all went great court awarded me the babys dad signed off without any problems at all. now back to my problem.

Daughter we will call ( L ) is now prego again has been on and off drugs again the whole time she was/is prego. to the point at 7 mo's she was in rehab at a local Hospital. the baby has found to have a mass on its stomach. that's all another long worried problem. the problem here is for the last few mo's when she picks up D she has been telling him that once she has the baby he will move back with her and take care of the new baby while mommy works. mind you he is only 6, I have found out that every time he is there she always hells and curses at him. and with the drug problem there is no way she can say she hasn't been under the influence of the drugs, she is always mean to him. she didnt have a bed for him nor a bed room. every time he comes home he tells me Mommy and ganma are fighting (yelling ect) or Mommy and S was

Once when he was there he and his 5 year old sister was sitting talking and K had said something about the baby I have here which is now 3 1/2 we will call her KL. his mother told him to shut the hell up and never f___ing talk about her again. and her name was never f ing to be said in her house again as well.

well as you know that upset him he has lived with KL since she was born, which is by blood his true sister.

though out the last almost 5 years mother has not taking him every other weekend as planned some thing would come up and she would cancel or she would say she didn't have the gas to come get him for a long time I would give her money when she got there but it got to the point she would use that for a reason a lot and then I found out about the drug thing and knew where the money was really going. well this year she decided on Dec 23rd that she would call me and tell me she would be here to pick him up for Christmas and he will wake up at her house. since he was born he had ALWAYS woke up at my home. and that's what I had planned again this year since that's the way it was and she hadn't said anything. well long story that's what happen she picked him up and he didn't get home until 10am Christmas morning. which threw everything off here. with KL him and Christmas morning. when she brought him home I guess sometime right before they got here she told him that the next time she picks him up he will come live with her and he would never see PawPaw again.

now mind you this was Christmas morning she decided to tell him something like that.

well he came in I could tell something wasn't right but he did get a little excited to see all the stuff santa left for him. after he opened them is when I found him just sitting there looking t his toys and watching KL play with a sad look on his face I asked him what was wrong and that's when he told me what mom had said he was very upset.

well with everything that had happen a couple days later she texted me to tell me she would be at my house the next day around 3 to pick him up for the weekend, I advised her he was sick with a fever and didn't feel good. well as you can think she went off made some treats ect it got bad. but she let him stay and didn't pick him up. after he felt better and I decided I needed to do something to protect him so

I filed for Emergency Temporary Guardianship of him, reason was emotional abuse, neglect, her drug use, and the treat it would cause him harm if she removed him or if he went to visit with her, the judge gave me that Temporary until the court date March 28th I did all the court stuff myself the filing of the correct papers ect, I am just worried if she hires a lawyer he will eat me alive since I don't know the laws like he may,

now mind you he has been with me now almost 5 years of his 6 and the time before that I would have to say he was still with me for about 30% of that time as well if not more.

when she (mom) talks about him going home her reason has always been, he is my son and should live with me and he has a bond with his sister and they should be together, what she is also forgetting is he has a sister KL here that he has lived with all her life, and to break up that bond would be bad for him and her not to leave out the bond he has with me,

I guess what I am asking is has anyone been where I am ? and if so how did it turn out,

and am I doing the right thing to protect him,

she is real close to getting in trouble from the food stamp division here because she has claimed him his whole life he has lived with me

the IRS will be coming down on her as well because again she has claimed him or she had let her mother claim him and this last year she had let her BF the new babys dad claim him, again reminder he was with me the whole time

so things are going to be bad for her real soon, and then once this new baby is born if they test the baby and they find drugs in the baby I am sure she will have that coming after her also

I am just really worried about this court things, since I filed the papers in court she has now got a bunk bed put it is a room that she plans to let K and my other Granddaughter sleep in at her house, her mother put her bed in the living room to make room for them to use the other room for my daughter K's MOM) its all after the fact tho before that he didn't have anywhere to sleep and would always sleep with his sister and Ganma, that info was in my first paperwork with the court, for gounds is the only reason she is doing anything about it, but I know she had rented the bunkbed from rent a center, and they will pick it up before long for non payment as they have done many times in the past,

is there something I should be thinking about doing or filing that I haven't yet or any help would be nice

if I left anything out you may need to know email me or something




Welcome IndyPawPaw ! I'm so sorry I didn't see this one sooner! I'm so sorry about your daughter and her drug problems, which I'm sure have caused much of her attitude and behavior! I know that, in itself, must break your heart! Bless you, though, for being there for those GC (grandchildren)! I know it must not be easy to have 2 of them to take care of but, truly, you are a hero in their lives, I believe ( and your ex in the other GD's life).


Trust me you are not alone. There are many GPs, today, who, for one reason or another, unfortunately, have ended up raising GC.  Many of them can be found in the Forums, especially in Grandparents Caring for Grandkids. In fact, as the Lead Moderator of GCfG, I hope you come and talk with us there, as well as here. I'll give you the direct link:



Also, I'm sorry that your daughter keeps confusing the issues by telling GS he's going to come and live with her and by acting as if one sister counts and the other doesn't. I hate to say it, but from what I've read and heard, this sounds just like the erratic thinking of a drug user. So I guess I'm not surprised. And believe me, many GPs, on these boards, have faced this kind of problem, too.


Given her continued drug use and the fact that you have guardianship, I doubt that it would be that easy for her to take GS, no matter what sh says. But I may be wrong and I'm sorry, once again, that she's even causing confusion and anxiety by saying these things. My heart goes out to you GS and the other children, as well!

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Social Services has counslers who can give you guidance. There are too many children involved that need a stable enviornment. You have a relationship with 2 and that should be taken into consideration. Social Services can see that the others are taken care of properly.

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@ brm33 - Welcome to the Community! I hope we hear from you more often, both in this Blog section and in the Forums, as well!


Meanwhile, for greater privacy, you may want to get your email addy out of your username. If so, just click on http://www.grandparents.com/profile and change your name where shown. (You'll have to log out and log back in again to see the change.)

If you do this, immediately, it will be obvious, of course. However, generally speaking please always let a moderator or administrator know if you change your name (just click on their name and then Send a Message and go from there. Or mention it in a post.) Thank you. :)


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