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GPstaff's Blog

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A REQUEST FOR STORIES

GPstaff

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Hi all --

A writer from Today.com is looking for grandparents who currently work and provides regular childcare for their grandkids. If anyone is interested in being interviewed, please email me at latoya@grandparents.com.

Thank you!




7 Comments


ChristineS

Posted

Hi,  I am a new member.  Saw this while trying to figure out how to post within a blog or create a new blog.  I am a single Grandparent who has custody of two Grand daughters, ages 2 and 1.  They've been living with me since June 2016 when I was granted full Guardianship. 

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RoseRed135

Posted (edited)

On 8/15/2017 at 3:39 PM, ChristineS said:

Hi,  I am a new member.  Saw this while trying to figure out how to post within a blog or create a new blog.  I am a single Grandparent who has custody of two Grand daughters, ages 2 and 1.  They've been living with me since June 2016 when I was granted full Guardianship. 

Welcome Christine! Glad you came in to speak w/ us! Unfortunately, newcomers can't create a blog until they amass 10 posts (either in other blogs or in the discussion threads in the Forums) - in other words, until they become a full-fledged Member. (The same rule applies to opening topics/threads in the Forums or accessing the Gallery). To see more about this - and about what you do and don't have access to as a New Member, etc. - just click on this GP.com thread:

 

If you would like some suggestions about amassing those 10 posts, please click on the following thread in the Club Newcomer forum:

 

 

 

Meanwhile, kudos to you for taking on the challenge of raising two GC (grandchildren)! As you may/may not know, you are not alone. Please feel free to come and talk to us more about your situation in the following topic:

 

 

Hope we hear from you there soon! And/or in any other thread or blog of your choosing! :)

Edited by RoseRed135

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Mame925

Posted

Welcome, we'd love to have you in the discussion threads....Members who are or have been "in the trenches" bring so much to the ongoing discussions.

1 person likes this

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Hi,

I need advice. My DD had an episode (like pschizophrenia) 3 yrs ago & the children were put in my care for over a year. They found no mental illness & teturnef the children with her & her husband. I had to get Grandparent rights to see them once a week. My daughter cut off all friends and family and is anti-social. They own a dog grooming business but other than that she has no contact with friends or family. My son & I believe she suffers from antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy). She has strange beliefs, dosnt celebrate ANY holidays, believes ppl with blue eyes are evil (and that many things are). My biggest concern is for my 8 yr old GD. She has been getting sick for almost 4 mth but my daughter refused to take her to the Dr. It started with a neck rash (that is still there). She has headaches & stomachaches and a sore back occasionally. I took her to the Dr we saw when I had them & was told she needed a headache exam at an eye Dr. My daughter won't take her. I know they are not getting normal meals also. I'm so fearful of calling DCS. What can I do!

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RoseRed135

Posted (edited)

Oh, Susa, I feel so deeply for you - and your GD! My heart goes out to you!

Where does your SIL (son-inlaw) stand in all this? Does he share DD's "strange beliefs?" Do they perhaps belong to a religious group that believes in specific "evils" and avoids medical care? This might explain some of her ideas and behavior.

My daughter cut off all friends and family and is anti-social.

Just to be clear, does this mean she now has no friends at all? Or has she become involved w/ a new group of friends? Perhaps people who share/accept her beliefs?

Regardless, the attitude about blue-eyed people does seem very bigoted and extreme, IMO. The complete refusal to help GD w/ her health issues appears extreme, as well. If SIL is concerned, he needs to get DD to seek help and see about getting GD the eye exam. If he isn't doing these things, you may need to call DCS, even though I understand why this scares you.

Bless you for being there for your GC and trying to help your 8 yr old GD! You were very fortunate that the doctor you took GD to was willing to see her, as many doctors won't do that, unless you (general) are the parent/guardian or authorized by the parent/guardian. But I suppose they complied b/c they know the kids were once in your care. I'm very sorry this hasn't led to her parents' getting her any further medical help.

You were also very fortunate to get once-a-week visitation. I realize that's probably b/c of your significant relationship w/ the GC/having had your GC in your care for a year. Still, it's rare, to my knowledge, for a judge to give a GP visitation as often as once a week. I know you must treasure that time and that it helps you stay aware of how your GC are doing.

I also know you must be afraid of losing all that if you contact DCS and they again find no problem. And, IMO, you're right to worry b/c DD might cut you off again, etc.Plus you (general) don't always know where things will go once social services enters the picture.

But you may have to take these risks, at some point, for the sake of GD (and, ultimately, your other GC). Whether you do so now or wait a bit longer, please make sure to document everything, including the date of GD's doctor visit and the advice given. If you contact DCS, please focus on the health issues and avoid discussing "strange beliefs," as DD's ideas are probably not their concern.

Just off the top of my head - you could express your fears that she's a sociopath. Since it's not classified as a mental illness, they may not have caught that the first time around. But please understand that conditions such as these can only be diagnosed by a professional.

My thoughts and prayers (if that's ok) are w/ you and all your GC - and your DD, too, if she is suffering from some kind of disorder.

Welcome!

Edited by RoseRed135

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Thank You Rose Red. My daughter believes she is Christian but at the same time calls Christmas,Easter, Ect "pagan" holidays and won't celebrate even for the children. Her husband is from Jamaica and I believe this started when she met him (Seeing spirits, believing blue eyed ppl and many things are evil. Ect). Before he came I to the picture she had a relationship with family & friends and now does not.

thank you so much for your comments and insight. 

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RoseRed135

Posted

You're welcome, Susa.

Hmmm... I've heard of Christian denominations that don't celebrate Christmas and Easter b/c of their ties to ancient pagan festivals. Your daughter and her family may belong to one of those. (To my understanding, that doesn't necessarily mean they don't honor those occasions, at all - sometimes they do it w/ prayer and solemn rituals, etc., just not the  gifts, large meals, decorations, parties, etc.that so many of us associate w/ these holidays.

Chances are, he belonged to this faith first and she joined it after meeting him. But it's also possible that she joined this religion first and met him through it, etc.

Before he came I to the picture she had a relationship with family & friends and now does not.

Sigh... That could mean he is very controlling, I'm afraid, as you mention elsewhere. But it could also mean they simply prefer to spend their time w/ other members of their denomination, especially if friends and family have questioned their beliefs and choices.

Either way, all you can do, IMO, is focus on enjoying your visits w/ the GC and wait and hope that, one day, your daughter will reach out to you again. (I've heard of it happening, right here on these boards, but I know it doesn't always.)... Patience...

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