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      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

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  1. Today
  2. The CPS Experience

    SoSad, I am sorry you find yourself in this predicament.  Is there nothing you can think of that could have planted a seed in the parents minds to even think that there might be an issue brewing?  The other GM was trying to collect information to get a restraining order against me.
  3. My MIL was also very "nice", and presented a perfectly coifed appearance and "nice" disposition to those she met.  I found out recently that her 'nice' covered up quite a bit of rage. If you haven't done so, I highly recommend reading The Gift of Fear, which is a fantastic book about sniffing out trouble that comes your way.  It distinguishes in detail the difference between fear (a 20 foot wave is about to crash down on you) vs. anxiety (flying in an airplane or public speaking) and the importance of using and paying attention to your intuition to protect yourself.  The author also discusses "nice" people and states that "nice" is a choice of behavior or a performance in essence to achieve a goal, and is not a description of who a person is.  "Good" would be a description of who a person is.  It's important to distinguish the difference between both.
  4. I think congresspeople are supposed to do what their constituents want them to do. They're representatives of those who elected them. I think the key in this is 'work with' Trump. That doesn't mean 'follow him blindly'.  They want collaboration. The problem is, Trump doesn't seem to be collaborating with anyone beyond the circle he's picked.  
  5. The CPS Experience

    Hello, I have a similar problem with my son's mother-in-law. She has convinced them that I am going to take their baby away from them. My granddaughter lives in SC with her parents. I would only get to see her a couple of times a year and when I did, my son and his wife would be invited, and therefore it would be a supervised visit by her parents. I am blocked on cell phone, facebook, and text messages. I am not even allowed any pictures. This is my first grandchild and I have looked forward to having grandchildren. She is 5 months old and I saw her once for 2 1/2 hours, by the time they visited 2 months later, I was no longer allowed to see her. My son and I were really close and this rips my heart out. The other GM was trying to collect information to get a restraining order against me. I don't know if I will get one or not. But the absolute vindictiveness of this woman is appalling. I don't understand why she feels the need to do this. She sent me pictures of her holding my GC and videos of her talking to my GC. It was an evil thing to do but I relish the little bit I can see of her. I don't know what to do.
  6. Speaking of "Love Languages" - Words of Affirmation

    Yes RoseRed they are my daughters children..sigh
  7. Regardless of what political party you belong to (if any) or where you live, what do you think about this?: https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/02/18/poll-reveals-majority-of-americans-want-democrats-to-work-with-t/21716920/
  8. Speaking of "Love Languages" - Words of Affirmation

    @Donna55 - I hear you! Is this the same daughter whose kids you are currently raising?
  9. Stressed & overwhelmed

    It does seem unfair that you don't have an attorney, Donna. Were the parents' lawyers appointed by the court? If so, have you tried asking for one for yourself? What was the response? Then again, perhaps this depends partly on what your goals are. If, for example, you'd like the children to be reunited w/ their mother/your DD (dear daughter), eventually, maybe her attorney actually represents your interests, too, even if only in an indirect way. If you don't think they should be reunited w/ their parents so quickly, perhaps you need to talk to CPS' lawyer (if you haven't already). Etc. But perhaps that's not the issue. You tell us you "don't have a say in anything." I take it that means when and where visits w/ the parents will occur, whether the kids get medical help or counseling and w/ whom, etc. I hear you! It must be very frustrating to have to carry out/go along w/ decisions w/o having a vote under these circumstances. Hmmm... In some states, as I understand it, a family member can file for custody while a CPS case is going on. If that's true in your state, have you thought about this? Also, again, I hope one or more of the resources posted in the Welcome thread here in GCfG can help you out. You are clearly a very strong, loving, brave GM. Wishing you and your GC the best!
  10. How's your weekend looking?

    Even though you're "still learning (your) way around here, Donna, you seem to be doing rather well. But to help yourself get further acclimated, we recommend checking out the following GP.com threads (but perhaps you have already)     You also might want to click on this thread here in Grandparents Caring for Grandkids:    
  11. Hoping all of our members in Southern California and their loved ones are ok and stay safe: https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/02/18/biggest-storm-in-five-years-thrashes-southern-california/21716952/
  12. Speaking of Love Languages 4 - Acts of Service

    I'm the type of person if I see a need and I can supply whatever is needed, I will do it.  A lot of times when I was younger I was used quite frequently and became very jaded. I have slowly gotten that back as I have got older and yes was taken advantage for whatever reason however I don't allow that to stop me from going on and helping out someone else. With age comes wisdom 
  13. Concerts and Questions

    I was 17 and went to Philly with my girlfriends to see Heatwave! And a couple other groups. Hearing Always and Forever now brings back good memories. Of course a lot of smoke, cigarettes and marijuana! 
  14. Speaking of "Love Languages" - Words of Affirmation

    I have come to the point of Actions Speak Louder Than Words with my daughter. She can talk a good game with her WOA, mom I love you, I appreciate what your doing blah blah however her disrespectful attitude and not following through on important issues leave them as just words to me that I know longer wish to hear
  15. Speaking of Love lLanguages - Is there a 6th one?

    I think respect needs to be there. Without it I don't believe you can honestly perform the five that was listed
  16. Stressed & overwhelmed

    It is quite unfortunate the way the system is set up. I am my GC foster parent. My GS has always lived with me because my daughter was living with me when he was born, he just turned five. My GD is 2 1/2 and was discharged from the hospital to me. My daughter has an attorney, their father has an attorney the children has an attorney and CPS has their attorney. Me, none the one who is raising them, their MGM who knows them and their issues the best. I don't have any say in anything...there really should be a different approach to GP's raising their GC then regular foster homes, because it is different.
  17. How's your weekend looking?

    Hi I'm DONNA55 also new to the forum. I did get to post some yesterday. Still learning my way around. Tried to answer RoseRed I believe on my post but couldn't figure how to. Duh Anyway my mom stopped over to see my two GC today her two GGC and I was able to get to the store for pull-ups wipes juice and milk lol and other things. Pretty nice day weather wise here in NJ. Tomorrow is suppose to be nice to. Gonna get the kiddies outside to burn off that energy!
  18. Yesterday
  19. The first red flag that I remember (I didn't know it was a red flag at the time!) was about a year after I met DH. We were planing our wedding, and the ceremony was in their yard. We had decided to do photos elsewhere, and MIL told DH that she wanted us to have them taken in her yard. When DH held firm, she got angry, hung up on him and refused to take his calls. He sent her flowers, and she forgave him. Meanwhile, SIL (whose DDs were flower girls) asked that we do photos with her kids in ILs yard, so that her DDs (toddlers at the time) did not have to be carted around unnecessarily. It seemed like a reasonable request, so we agreed to a few photos at ILs to accommodate SILs LOs. Naively I thought the two requests were unrelated.  The first eye opener for me was when I agreed to let MIL take ODS (2 yrs) to parent and tot gymnastics classes. She pushed, and then I did not know how to say no, even though I wasn't comfortable with her taking him. She picked him up for the first class and said she wasn't sure how long the class was. I guess this was here way of avoiding a curfew, because she didn't bring him home until 3 hours later! No phone call, she had no cell phone and turns out the class was 45 minutes. She had taken him to out for tea with another mom and LO she'd met and then out do her grocery shopping. I was so angry, but again, not assertive enough to tell her. So the next week, I asked that she bring him home right after class, and that she was welcome to come in and continue her visit with DS here. She got angry and agitated and demanded I explain why she couldn't keep him out longer. I tried to explain myself (big mistake) and she kept repeating that she couldn't understand, and kept arguing, saying things like she would "just" take him to the park for a short time, they could "just go on the swings", or she would "just" take him for a play date with her new mom fried etc., and then come home. When I stuck to my guns, she turned into a victim and told me she feels like she can't do anything right in my eyes. The whole interaction was so confrontational that I called my DH at work crying when she left. I'm not much of a cryer but it shook me a bit - I never expected her to go off on me for asking her to bring my kid home at a certain time. She tried a few more times in the following weeks to extend her outing with DS, and I maintained that she was welcome to visit at our house after class. Well, she never did. She would deliver DS to my on my doorstep and leave without hardly saying two words.  Needless to say, I was so glad when the gymnastics classes were over, and this marked the beginning of the end of MILs outings with my LOs.    
  20. My MIL loved to be helpful. When invited for a meal, she always offered to bring a dish. She prepared meals for our freezer when I was pregnant. She would always offer to babysit or help with the kids.  She can be soooo "nice"! Very friendly and flattering. She was a fun playmate for the kids. She always brought toys to play with when she visited.  It's an interesting (hard!) exercise acknowledging the positive qualities in my MIL. I guess I'm not very congenial. I find it hard to separate the good from the bad now. Now that my eyes have been opened, even her kindness and the examples above feel false and manipulatalive. 
  21. How's your weekend looking?

    The grands are loving this new monopoly game. It is very cool to play. Scanning cards instead of using money -- very 21st century!
  22. Speaking of Love lLanguages - Is there a 6th one?

    I would hope we use good manners even with people we don't profess to love.
  23. (The New) What Are You Reading?

    I'm back in library services for a few weeks so I have 1000s of books at my fingertips with no effort at all! I'm reading Toni Morrison's "Beloved" currently. Its assigned reading for senior English these days so in order to discuss & review with the kids I need to finally read it.  Most popular check out in the library is "Hidden Figures", now an Academy Award nominee for best picture and supporting actress nominations. When the kids are checking things back in I always ask how they liked whatever they read. 
  24. Speaking of Love lLanguages - Is there a 6th one?

    Good manners should be universal. Sadly, they aren't. 
  25. How's your weekend looking?

    It's George Strait, the world's most perfect man (I'm a sucker for a cowboy)....so I'll be coming home covered in cowboy dust. As a rule,, I'm not a Vegas fan, but there have been a few exceptions from time to time. 
  26. How's your weekend looking?

    Woke up to sunshine and warmer temps, enough to go outside and rake in yard-
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