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      Tell us about your experience with signing up for Medicare   01/23/18

      We want to know what the process was like for you, any difficulties you experienced, the length of your process, etc. This is strictly research and any information you share with us will not be shared elsewhere. Please email jack@grandparents.com with the subject line: Medicare Process and we'll be in touch with specific questions.
    • LaToyaADMIN

      PLEASE READ: We are moving the community   02/15/18

      Dear Community friends and family,   After great consideration, we are moving the Grandparents.com community to Facebook Groups effective March 15, 2018.   This wasn’t an easy decision, but we want to bring our communities together and believe the best place to do so is through Facebook’s groups feature. We’re so appreciative of you and the diverse conversations and opinions you have provided over the past 9 years. Your stories and amazing advice have helped so many readers, and have reached thousands of GP.com users. We encourage you to retrieve any information you want to retain as the forum will only be accessible by the admin after March 15, 2018. We’ve created a closed Facebook group called Mothers-in-Law Unplugged where we welcome you to continue the conversations around grandparenting, family, and in-law relationships, and any general topics we discuss here. As the group is closed and each user must be approved, your friends and family on Facebook won’t see any of your activity. Request to join the group here: http://bit.ly/milunplugged Thank you to all of our past and current users. You helped build our community, and we look forward to continuing to interact with you in the Facebook groups. If you have any questions about the groups and privacy, let’s chat about here:   Sincerely,   The Grandparents.com Team

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  1. 'Happy' birthday!

    Thanks to your support I was able to drag myself out of the swamp of self-indifference and up into the valley of self respect. Because of the distance, these past weeks I have been feeling better and better and less and less angry.  Until now.   My baby will turn 1 soon, and since she didn't get to have the socially required birth party (DH was too tired and my inlaws were busy guilt tripping me and acting as if my medical choices were made specifically to hurt their precious feelings) so I was kicking around the idea of having a birthday party.  She doesn't even know where her nose is, so obviously this would be a bit of a makeup party, but also a chance for me to invite some couple friends with kids I haven't seen a lot of lately.  I really want to get back into the swing of things, and new parents (including me) have a tendency to get a bit isolated.    So I drew up a guest list and asked for some opinions.  First comment?  "And grandparents?  My parents are invited, right?"    Honestly, I never considered it.  It was not meant as a slight to leave them out, so I tried explaining how my party idea was for people of our age and family status.  His reaction?  "You really hate my parents, don't you?"  That was not helpful.  I tried explaining how his parents would just put a different dynamic on the party, but that wasn't a good enough excuse.  I started explaining how last time we had a party his mom totally barreled through my plans and then spent the evening playing grandma of the year and apologizing to guests for dust she pointed out to them, while his dad showed the other guests pictures from when I was fat(ter).  He told me she would be better if I just talk to her, she's not a controlling person, and he didn't ever mean any harm.      Wrong move there, DuH!  I pulled out some classical examples.  The couch cover coup, the gasslamping, the time she patched my panties.    He painted the picture of a young girl, looking over photographs of her first birthday, crying sadly because her grandparents weren't there.  (Does anybody actually do that?)  He doesn't mind me not inviting his parents for her birthday, as long as there isn't a party on that month.  He wants me to invite my friends at a different time.  But who invites people at random times?    Basically, I just realized that I'm getting worked up about a birthday party for a 1 year old.    Opinions?
  2. If not now.....WHEN?

    Tomorrow, on January 19th I shall turn 60 years old and I can not believe it. I've always felt that age is a number, nothing more nothing less, but I got to tell you, this one feels different. Over the past few months my discomfort about seeing 60 on the horizon has grown while I try to embrace the fact that yes, I am getting older. There are no answers to the obvious questions that I ask; where did the time go, how did I get here and how much quality life do I have left? But I do know one thing for sure. There is alway now, this minute, this second and the opportunity to live my best life . The six decades behind me for the most part, have been spent on others; my youthful self, my husband and kids and my aging mother. So for my birthday I will give to "ME", my best effort and to tenderly nurture my mind, my body and my soul. So here today, the last day of my 59th year that I make a commitment for next chapter life is offering. A promise of sorts to include "ME" in life's equation...if not now..........WHEN?
  3. The Magic of 18

    Dani will soon turn 18. No longer will she have to be subjected to the torrent of her mother’s thoughtless mouth and her father's callous irresponsibility. No longer is she under any obligation to engage. She will be a legal adult. She can do what she likes. She doesn’t have to answer phone calls or sit through excruciating dinners or feel bad about herself after listening to the endless negativity of her parents. As her Nana, I've seen it all. How many grandparents have had the same experience? Whose loving heart has been crushed with physical, emotional, psychological violence? Whose bank accounts have been drained dry by providing for their lackluster children and blameless grandchildren? Whose credit ratings have gone in the toilet because of co-signing for apartments, cars and other necessities of life? Whose sleepless nights have taken a toll on their bodies and minds? Dani and I have become a team because her parents willed it. I just wanted to be a Nana. Dani just wanted me to be a Nana. Instead I have been Nana and mother and father and sister and aunt and friend and protector. I won’t say it hasn’t been a challenge to keep these roles sorted out. But we are stronger for it. I’m guessing some readers have tears rolling down their face or justifiable anger boiling over because they also know the ugliness of being forced to choose their grandchildren over their children. I have always cajoled, understood, forgiven, responded when asked for help despite being treated badly. Whatever I have given of my love, resources and time, I did without expectation of anything in return. There was no quid pro quo. My motivation was always clear. What I did, I did for Dani. But now the tide is turning. I don’t have to hold my tongue any longer. The long wait is over and the exhiliration is staggering. Finally, we are both freed from the tragedy of the last 18 years. I love my son. I forgive his bad behavior borne of addiction and immaturity. But neither Dani nor I can forget the trespasses. That intention will take a lifetime.