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    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

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Showing results for tags 'adoption'.

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  1. ... what's your situation? Do you have custody or guardianship? Or have you adopted them? Or perhaps you're their foster parent till their bio parents turn their lives around? Or? And, if you will, what do you find is your biggest challenge in these circumstances? Your greatest reward?
  2. Are you raising your GC (grandchildren) or other relative kids? Whether you're a new or "old" member of this site, a regular poster or someone who has just been lurking, please come in and tell us about your situation (if you're new here, just post in the Reply box below and hit "Submit Reply"). Do you have custody of the child(ren), have you adopted them, or are you just raising them informally? And, if you will, what are some of your challenges, joys and/or frustrations? Even if you've posted about your scenario before, please feel free to let us know about any new developments or new thoughts you've had about it. If you were raising your grands/relative kids, in the past, please come in and give us the benefit of your experience. Or if you will soon be in this kind of situation or are thinking about it, please feel free to post about any questions or concerns that you may have.
  3. If you have custody of your GC (or other relative kids), have/would you ever consider adopting them? Why or why not?   If you've adopted them, what factor(s) made your decision? Have you ever looked back and questioned it?
  4. If you've been lurking here and are raising your GC (grandchildren) or other relative kids, please come on in and talk with us., either here or in a conversation thread of your own. (To open your own thread, just click on the group title - above, left - and then Start New Topic  - which will be on your right - and go from there.) Whether you have legal guardianship, custody or have adopted or are, temporarily the foster parent for your GC/relative child, please share your story with us....   ETA:   Also, the same applies if you're a former or soon-to-be such caregiver. And if you've spoken with us previously, please feel free to come in and tell us more, if you like, and, of course, respond to other posters.   Looking forward to hearing from you!       ETA: There is also a thread here called, "Are YOU the Frequent Caregiver or Even Occasional Babysitter for your GC/Relative children?"  And if you're a parent who generally turns to a GP or other relative to watch your kids, you might want to check out "Do YOU Rely on Family Daycare."   ETA further: As of December 2014, you need to post 10 replies to other threads before you can open one of your own. See "Why Can't I Start a New Topic?": http://community.gra...ic/#entry214750   For some ideas on how (and how not) to amass those 10 replies, you may want to look at the thread, "Getting in Those 10 Replies" in Club Newcomer: http://community.gra...ose-10-replies/
  5. Which of the following best describes your attitudes about GP custody rights and related issues? (Choose all that apply) And why?:   1. GPs have a right/responsibilty to speak up, w/o repercussions, if they think their GC are being abused or neglected.   2, GPs have a right/responsibilty to contact the authorities, w/o repercussions, if they think their GC are being abused or neglected.   3. Both 1 &  2 but they have to realize there might be repercussions.   4. GPs have a right/responsibility to physically remove their GC from their home if  they think they are being abused or neglected.   5. GPs have a right/responsibilty to file for custody of or adopt their GC if they think they are being abused or neglected.   6. GPs have a right/responsibility to be the foster parents, have custody of or adopt their GC if they have been removed from their home by the authorities.
  6. Are you satisfied with the laws in your state, regarding GP/relative guardianship, custody, adoption and fostering? If not, what would you change?
  7. Advise Needed

    I am a 50 year old wife and mother to 4.  My husband and I still have 3 of our children at home.  We have a 22 year old son living in basement and and 17 year old and a 14 year old.  About three weeks ago we found out that our 22 year old is going to be a father (this will be our first grandchild) we also found out (by accident) that they plan on putting the baby up for adoption.  They don't feel like they are ready to be parents.  I respect the maturity in that decision but my husband and I discussed it and approached them with the plan of allowing us to raise the child.  Our hearts are broken by the prosepect of the child going away.  We were told no because they have found an adoptive couple that is very wealthy and very successful.   Our children have never gone without anything and they all attended a private school their entire lives.  We live in a modest home but nothing extravagant.  My husband also went through a difficult battle with leukemia 4 years ago and this is another reason that they are using against us.  Are we being selfish by wanting this child to stay in our family?  This is probably the second most painful life event that we have ever endured.  The first being my husbands leukemia.  We are a very conservative christian family and we have not judged our son at all in regards to this.   I would love to hear people's thoughts.
  8. This is complicated so I will give a brif account to why I am in this situation.   When I was 19 I was bullied and lied into surrendering my son by my parents and the adoption agency.  Naturally I never forgt about him and lived in the hope that one day he would want to find me.   In 2004 my husband and I thought it would be fun to do our family trees so we joined up with Genes Reunited.  After I put in basic information it came up with a match for another tree.  To keep it short it was my son as he joined using the names I gave him and at this point he had just turned 23.    It turned out he had found my family in 1999 when he was 18.  Unfortunately my family chose to keep up with the lies as to why he had been adopted.  They even told him they didn't know where I was for the next 5 years.  It was true that they didn't know where I was from early 1999 to 2001 as I had fallen out with them but as my sister worked for the job centre she could have found out where I was quite easily.  However there was no excuse for my parents not to tell him when I contacted them nor did they tell me they had contact with him..    It was a complete shock for my son to find out the whole truth,  Anyway we got to meet three times between the September - November 2004 as he went to Canada to study.  During the period between August 2004 and December 2006 we had regular contact.  When we got on great it was fine but when he was unhappy I got the brunt of it.  Most of the time it was good as we have so much in common.   In December 2006 my son moved in with us as he 'needed to earn money before going back to Canada to finish his studies.'  We found out later this wasn't true but that's a side issue.  My son also told us he 'couldn't go back to his (adoptive) parents until he proofed he had changed his ways.   My son ended up living with us for almost 2009 when he met his now partner.  It had been eventful him living with us but I love my son so we dealt with the not so good times as best we could.  There was sporadic contact for several months mostly to do with mail for him as  he was looking for work.  He hadn't worked in all the time he lived with us.  Eventually we wanted to get the last of his belongings to him so contacted him about it.  My son turned nasty over imagined wrongs I had done and blamed me for all the letters he had recieved in reference to his debts which he turned around and claimed were mine.  Obviously there is more to this as my son blames everybody else for what's bad in his life including his adoptive parents.  They are a lovely couple who have loved him unconditionally and have always put his needs before their own.   I have only contacted him twice since then.  One was a letter sent via his adoptive parents to give him an update on medical information (in 2010)) as my health has worsened and he has a right to know as these are hereditary.  I knew he had moved again after he had moved out and I was so scared he would accuse me of stalking him that's why I sent the letter addressed to hi, at his adoptive parents home.  This is from experience as he has accused me of some awful things as well as accusing other people of things they haven't done.  The second time was an email letting him know my mum had died ~ that was in 2011 ~ and I found out on the day of the funeral that my sister had sent him a text message as well.  He never responded to either of us and didn't turn up for the funeral.  I must admit that hurt.   Anyway a few months later I found out from a mutual aquaintance that he and his partner have had a son and that he didn't want me to know,  This person told hi, that she wasn't going to keep this a secret as she felt I had a right to know.  He then told her that he never wants me to have anything to do with his son as I'm not a good enough mother so I didn't even know my grandson's date of birth let alone anything else.  It's completely broken my heart as I was denied the right to see my son grow up and now I am being denied the right to know anything about my grandson.