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      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

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  1. Oldest American Turns 114 !!!

    I find it absolutely fascinating that a human body can have such a lengthy life span considering our fragility!  Her name is Adele Dunlap and she lives in New Jersey- 
  2. As we've discussed before, instead of AC (adult children), some of you have had your aging parents/PILs (parents-in-law) move into your home, due to economic or health reasons or both. And others of you are caring/helping to care for an aging parent/PIL or two, even if they still live in their own home or another relative's home.   So now I'm wondering, how is that working out? And do you see any changes happening in that situation in the coming year? Perhaps the elderly father, once so reluctant to relocate, is ready to sell his home and move into yours? Or the elderly and very ill MIL who has been living with you will take up residence in a skilled nursing facility? Or?? Please feel free to let us know, overall, how this situation is going...
  3. Dealing with my Aging Father

    I need some advice on dealing with my father, to give you some background I am going to try to be brief and blunt but its a long story -so bear with me.  Background My Dad's back had always hurt for as long as I can remember, he is way over-weight, does not follow a diet or excersize, and is borderline diabetic, not to mention a number of other health problems. He has managed this with a number of pain medications and injections. In August something became worse, as he would barely walk and finally went to see a specialist. The specialist recommended weight loss and physical therapy, neither of which he did. So for a while he "doctor shopped" - basically going to different doctors looking for the answer he agreed with... Various doctors and pain medications later, he has just continued to let things go.  So for the past 4 months he has pretty much sat in a chair and done zip, other than watch TV. Things came to a head last month as the pain in bad enough that sitting doesn't work nor the pain medications - long story short, he is having surgery to remove a herniated disk. Which the doctor believes has relieved the majority of his pain.  Going Forward So it is obvious that this year is going to be a cornerstone for him.  He will either change his ways (now that the pain is manageable) or he will become sedentary and be unable to walk - which will lead to a nursing home situation as my itty-bitty mother cannot take care of the big guy.. My question is what can I do to help this? I know that he does not want to be in a nursing home as he says statements like "I would die first" but he also does not take advice well as he is quite rude and angry..  Last year, when it was apparent this was coming I had a sit down heart to heart with him, I was as nice as I could possibly be, but I wanted to covey to him if he didn't do something soon he would not be walking - at that time I felt within a year or two... ironic how very close I was. He did not talk to me for two months... and the conversation did little good to improve his health.  Right now, he is in an inpatient rehab clinic, where he is going to have to do a lot of work, physical and mental, not to mention change his eating habits to get out of there.  He is having issues walking and the physical therapist has high hopes he will walk but right now he is totally unmotivated - wanting others to do the simplest of tasks like shaving... (there is nothing wrong with the mans arms, just saying)  I know that I cannot do this for him.. But should I just stay out of it? Or should I take drastic measures and lecture him? Would that work as he is not a child? Any input would be most welcome.   
  4. GP.com, as you may or may not have noticed, has recently posted some inspiring and heart-warning stories about very Senior Citizens:   http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/inspiring-stories-and-wisdoms/102-year-old-former-dancer-sees-herself-on-film-for-the-first-time   http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/inspiring-stories-and-wisdoms/grandma-celebrates-her-victory-over-cancer-with-a-tattoo   http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/inspiring-stories-and-wisdoms/british-couple-to-become-worlds-oldest-newlyweds   http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/inspiring-stories-and-wisdoms/british-couple-to-become-worlds-oldest-newlyweds   So now I'm wondering, how do you feel about getting older? Which of the following best describe your attitude?:   1. You're only as old as you feel   2. Age is just a number.   3. Getting old is no fun.   4, Old age is not for sissies!   5. Grow old gracefully (whatever that means to you)   5 Other (please explain)
  5. The "responsibility" thread in MIL Anonymous reminded me of when I had to balance helping out w/ my MIL against my being a caregiver for my DGC. I used to pinch hit for SisIL about once a month, so she could get a day off. But that was usually on a Saturday when I wasn't needed to watch the kids. However, I was the one who went w/ MIL to her doctor's appointments (DH drove us there but I spent time w/ her in the waiting room, etc., while he tried to find parking, which was often difficult). Fortunately, SIL was good about working out the appointment dates and times w/ me so they wouldn't conflict w/ my schedule w/ my DGC. Also, in my view, my first priority in this matter was to YDD and the kids, not MIL. Lucky for me, both DH and SIL understood this. (I think MIL would have, too, at least, in the early stages of Alz. But IDK if it was ever discussed w/ her. )   But now I'm wondering... are you/have you ever been sandwiched between caring for an aging parent or PIL and taking care of your kids/GC? And if so, how do/did you balance the two? What are/were your priorities and, if you will, how does/did that pan out?
  6. There used to be an ad, years ago (there I go dating myself again!) - I think it was for a woman's hair product, but sorry, I don't recall for sure - that reassured us all, "You're not getting older, you're getting better." How do you feel about that? In what ways, if any,  are you getting "better," as the years go by (more confident, more competent, or whatever? And in what ways, if any, are you just getting, well, you know, "older" (aches, pains, age-related physical limitations, etc.)?
  7. Perhaps you're the frequent or fulltime caregiver for one or more GC/relative kids but also have major responsibility for an aging parents. Or maybe you know someone in that situation. If so, how do you/they manage to balance the two? Or do you/they?
  8. There is an old Buddhist proverb that says "When the student is ready the teacher will appear". This student is indeed ready. As I continue my Timeless You program with Dr. Deepak Chopra we explore the wisdom of Mindful Eating and again I find myself informed and inspired by Chopra's expertise on the subject. We have all heard the saying that "we are what we eat" and in this episode among other things we learn about the many benefits of drinking water for the body and the mind. One would think that by now I would know more about this topic. Let's just say, I didn't know what I didn't know. A few years ago my friend's mother was rushed by ambulance to the hospital after she collapsed at a family gathering. It seems that she had complained about feeling weak and light headed just moments before she fainted. The doctor on duty at the nearby E.R. examined my friend's mom and quickly diagnosed her as severely dehydrated. She was hooked up to intravenous fluids and spent the next few hours regaining her strength when she should have been celebrating with her family. Upon discharge the physician explained to my friend and her elderly mom the importance of staying well hydrated. He added that if people drank more water on a daily basis many emergency room visits could be avoided. He added too that other ailments such as memory problems and bladder infections can be related symptoms of dehydration. While I found this information interesting, at the time I didn't apply it to my own life. I've never been a big water drinker, I hate to admit it but when I am thirsty I usually reach for a sports drink or worse a diet soda. Deepak Chopra's Mindful Eating episode couldn't come at a better time for me. In my quest to make this 6th decade of life a healthy one. I have committed to nourishing my body, my mind and my spirit in a healthier manner. I am absolutely amazed at the evidence of drinking water and Deepak's formula for suggested consumption amounts is simple math: body weight divided by 2, so.... my weight is 140 lbs. divide that number by 2 and you get 70 . So for me the recommended amount is 70 ounces of fluid per day and the best part of all of this is that you start to feel the benefits immediately. Click on the link below for a complete list and drink up! Http://www.finallyfinishing.com
  9. I remember the moment I realized I wasn't young anymore. I was at a family gathering humming along to a song on the radio when one of the kids there, a family friend's adolescent daughter, looked at me and said, "Wow, you know this song?" I'm thinking, "Of course, I'm not THAT old!" I was only in my late 40s -- almost 20+ years away from what I pictured as old, but to this little girl I was an old fogey. In the girl's eyes, I thought I was hip by singing the same lyrics she and her friends sang. It was a very harrowing experience. Our friends at Huffington Post 50 asked readers about the moment they realized they weren't young anymore, and the responses are hilarious and endearing. Read them here and then tell us below and the moment you realized you weren't young anymore.