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  1. ... what's your situation? Do you have custody or guardianship? Or have you adopted them? Or perhaps you're their foster parent till their bio parents turn their lives around? Or? And, if you will, what do you find is your biggest challenge in these circumstances? Your greatest reward?
  2. This New Hampshire custody law was just passed (7/31/17), giving GPs custody preference if parents are guilty of substance abuse: http://www.nbc-2.com/story/35770125/new-hampshire-law-gives-grandparents-custody-preference Thoughts?
  3. Are you raising your GC (grandchildren) or other relative kids? Whether you're a new or "old" member of this site, a regular poster or someone who has just been lurking, please come in and tell us about your situation (if you're new here, just post in the Reply box below and hit "Submit Reply"). Do you have custody of the child(ren), have you adopted them, or are you just raising them informally? And, if you will, what are some of your challenges, joys and/or frustrations? Even if you've posted about your scenario before, please feel free to let us know about any new developments or new thoughts you've had about it. If you were raising your grands/relative kids, in the past, please come in and give us the benefit of your experience. Or if you will soon be in this kind of situation or are thinking about it, please feel free to post about any questions or concerns that you may have.
  4. If you have custody of your GC (or other relative kids), have/would you ever consider adopting them? Why or why not?   If you've adopted them, what factor(s) made your decision? Have you ever looked back and questioned it?
  5. If you've been lurking here and are raising your GC (grandchildren) or other relative kids, please come on in and talk with us., either here or in a conversation thread of your own. (To open your own thread, just click on the group title - above, left - and then Start New Topic  - which will be on your right - and go from there.) Whether you have legal guardianship, custody or have adopted or are, temporarily the foster parent for your GC/relative child, please share your story with us....   ETA:   Also, the same applies if you're a former or soon-to-be such caregiver. And if you've spoken with us previously, please feel free to come in and tell us more, if you like, and, of course, respond to other posters.   Looking forward to hearing from you!       ETA: There is also a thread here called, "Are YOU the Frequent Caregiver or Even Occasional Babysitter for your GC/Relative children?"  And if you're a parent who generally turns to a GP or other relative to watch your kids, you might want to check out "Do YOU Rely on Family Daycare."   ETA further: As of December 2014, you need to post 10 replies to other threads before you can open one of your own. See "Why Can't I Start a New Topic?": http://community.gra...ic/#entry214750   For some ideas on how (and how not) to amass those 10 replies, you may want to look at the thread, "Getting in Those 10 Replies" in Club Newcomer: http://community.gra...ose-10-replies/
  6. Custody War

    If you have custody of your GC (grandchild/ren), how did that come about? Is it permanent or temporary? Or if you're seeking custody, what hurdles do you think you'll face, if any?    I'm calling it a "war," rather than a "battle," b/c as I understand it, many parents fight to get custody back. Have you ever had that issue or do you think you ever would?   Same questions if you've adopted/are thinking of adopting your GC. Or if you're have/want to get custody or adopt a niece, nephew or other relative child.   Please feel free to answer as many of my questions that apply, as you'd like...
  7. Which of the following best describes your attitudes about GP custody rights and related issues? (Choose all that apply) And why?:   1. GPs have a right/responsibilty to speak up, w/o repercussions, if they think their GC are being abused or neglected.   2, GPs have a right/responsibilty to contact the authorities, w/o repercussions, if they think their GC are being abused or neglected.   3. Both 1 &  2 but they have to realize there might be repercussions.   4. GPs have a right/responsibility to physically remove their GC from their home if  they think they are being abused or neglected.   5. GPs have a right/responsibilty to file for custody of or adopt their GC if they think they are being abused or neglected.   6. GPs have a right/responsibility to be the foster parents, have custody of or adopt their GC if they have been removed from their home by the authorities.
  8. Recently, elsewhere in the forums, the subject of legal guardianship came up and its comparison to temporary custody.  That caught my attention b/c, in the past, some posters have said that guardianship is the same as custody in their state. And b/c I've know GPs who were the foster parents for their GC but chose, instead, to tell most people they had "temporary custody."   Now I'm wondering if anyone here has any idea of the differences between the three - foster parenting, guardianship and temporary custody. How are the GPs (or other relatives') legal rights over the kids different or similar in each case/what rights do parents retain in each scenario. Does it, in fact, differ greatly from state to state?   @ those seeking this knowledge, due to their own situation - This thread is not intended as a substitute for consulting an attorney and checking out the laws in your state. While I trust that posters will give info that is accurate, to the best of their knowledge, there is no guarantee that it will be/that it will totally fit your own situtation.
  9. In less than 2 weeks, I will have the first court date for requesting custody of my GD who is 20 months old.  I have been her full time caregiver since 11/26/2012 which is almost a year.    My daughter gave her to me when we discovered they had stolen approx $5k worth of material from my fiance's business.      Her parents are both addicts.  Her bio father just got out of jail in the summer for the 3rd time since my GD was born.  He is 27 and has been using for 13 years.  My daughter is 22 and has been using for 4 years.  They are not together. My daughter has been in a program out of state since May and has reportedly been clean since May.  Its a year long program.  The longer she goes without using, the more difficult she knows it is to become a responsible parent and be able to care for her daughter. She has no contact with my GD father.    The households from what I will call the "other side" of the family (my GD's father) is a troubling place.  The other grandmother has legal issues, financial issues and seems to be emotionally unstable and my daughter witnessed physical abuse with her 2 other granddaughters. Many members of the family are involved in illegal activity ranging from dealing drugs, drug use, gambling and possibly prostitution.  My DG does have an aunt and uncle on the other side that are what I would call relatively normal in that there is no illegal activity.  She is a nurse, he is a skilled tradesman. They have custody of my GD half-sister who is 7 and a daughter who is 4.  They still allow the whole family to come to their house, be around their children but refuse to allow the ugly reality of what they all do affect the kids (so they say).  I do know that my GD's grandfather was in jail for 8 years and was also released during the summer.  For a time, I was allowing them to spend time with my GD once a week on a Sunday afternoon.  I thought she was safe and honestly, I thought it was right Christina thing to do.   However, I found out that they had left her alone with her father on several occassions.  My GD also started to get yeast infections which troubled me a great deal.  I also saw a lot of jealousy be expressed by the 7 year old half sister towards my GD.    My fiance and my family all urged me that the right thing to do should be focused on Hayden and not on them.    I stopped all contact with the other side, despite the messages, texts and phone calls telling me what an evil person I am to keep her away from her family that loves her.  My daughter was very angry at first.  My hope is that my daughter will get her life in order and be a part of my GD life in some way.  I think she may be willing to sign custody to me, but she hasn't made that decision yet.   I have been told by the other side they will show up at the hearing and fight for their rights.     Note that the dad is not on the birth certificate and has never established paternity.  He is reportedly using again.  My daughter may or may not come to the hearing. Its a financial issue as she no car or license and lives out of state.  She may only come if she is contesting it.     My attorney has told me this can be a drawn out process. I am expecting many court appointments that get delayed or continued for months.  I live on limited means as I am still raising a 16 and 12 year old and my 15 year old soon-to-be-step daughter.  I am uncertain about the financial implications, surprise decisions, being forced to expose my GD to dangerous situations.  I am praying daily but as the court date draws closer I get more nervous.     So, any tips or any thing to help prepare myself for that may have caught someone else unprepared would be welcomed!  Thanks for listening! God Bless   SoccerNeenah   PS: Its important to note that the only negative against me that anyone from the other side might raise is that I am living with my fiance. However, when the theft first happened a year ago, we did separate as he was not sure he was ready to start over again with a 1 year old and he was very hurt and betrayed by my daughter and needed space.  We have gotten past all that and he loves my GD dearly and is definitely up for the long haul.  We moved back in together in Sept and its been just great for my GD, attending a good pre-school etc.    
  10. Under what circumstances do you think it's ok for a GP/other relative to seek custody of their GC/other relative child(ren)? Please take the poll above, as well as commenting below. Please read the options carefully, as there are some that are similar but have significant differences.   I realize there may be some options that you (general) don't choose but feel are ok with specific qualifiers. Please feel free to explain that in your post. Also, let us know if you feel any of the options you checked off are only cause to seek custody if it's a last resort. Or if you believe there are some instances mentioned above where it's imperative. And if you feel I left any possibilities out, please tell us what they are and how you feel about them...
  11. Custody and my feelings

    Happy New Year!   My son started custody motions...he and my granddaughter's mother were dating a very short period of time...the relationship was ending and the pregnancy was discovered...DNA is done...my granddaughter's parents live 3 hours apart by car...this is hard...when my granddaughter is with her mother (who lives close to me) I see her & love it!!!  At this time my granddaughter's mother does not want me to take my granddaughter alone for visits...I understand & accept this based on court actions that have taken place between her & my son...I trust that this will not be forever...   The future is unknown and I have been neutral because I am Grandma and they are her parents...trying to stay calm...thanks for listening...
  12. What do I do?

    Help!  My son and his then girlfriend had our grandson in January.  Both of them had been living with my husband and I 6 months prior to the birth.  We have helped any way we can, providing them with a place to live, food, and anything else they needed.  They married in June and we paid for the whole wedding. Now they have separated.  They have lived with us since and the baby still comes to me more than his own mother and father. Her parents have done nothing to help.  Right now she is working and my son is only working odd jobs because he can't find a permanent one.  My worry is that I do not want the baby going to live with her at her parents because of the living conditions there.  Her father has Muscular Dystrophy and is not in good health.  Her elderly aunt lives with them and has heart problems and cancer and they are all living off of disability in an old mobile home that has sagging floors, electrical problems, etc.  There is no yard - it's full of junk!  We live in a nice older home in the country with a huge yard and my husband and I both work full time.  My son wants a divorce and wants custody of his son, but without a job I don't know.  My husband and I are willing to take custody of the baby since we have been there for him since birth.  Whenever her parents have him he always comes home dirty, never has on anything but a diaper, is hungry and sleepy because he hasn't taken his naps.  They never keep him on his schedule.  I am afraid even is she is there with him it will be the same since I made sure he ate, had on clothes, etc. while they have been living with us.  My son is a pretty good Dad, or at least tries to be.  My DIL gets in her own little world and half the time doesn't know where the baby is (he crawls all over the house).  My husband and I are torn over what to do. Help!
  13. Any hope out there?

    Does anyone have any suggestions for an out of state eleven year old boy, who would rather be with his father, who is abusive, than with my daughter and me? Another court day coming up, meanwhile boy back with father after a six month period with us. He is very angry, had some counseling but not enough. He accused us of abuse that did not take place, since he wanted to return to his father. He was too long in the custody of his father, by default, since dad moved further away from the mother, several times, until the last time moving several states away without written permission. My daughter is a non-driver. Grandson and I had a great relationship, despite the distance. We had earlier bonds that went deep. He has hurt me deeply, lying continually. He has chosen the life style of his father, who is deeply troubled, dysfunctional. Any questions? Please ask. We may get him back later this month. We are actually dreading this if it takes place. Please give me any suggestions you may have. I love him deeply! Thanks, DancingNana
  14. My son and his ex-girlfriend are going through an ugly custody battle. She and my granddaughter have moved 4 hours away, which makes visiting difficult. I had planned to see her this coming weekend, but now my son says it will affect his custody/visitation upon his next hearing. I am not buying this since I'm not the one fighting for custody. Also, the ex-girlfriend has no problems with me coming by. Is there legal precedence for this? Or is his Mom (my ex-wife) feeding him untruths so that I can't freely see my granddaughter while they are in the midst of a feud? I haven't seen my granddaughter since Summer, and frankly I don't think the few hours of visiting would affect his outcome in court. I would just like to assure my son that this is the case. Thanks for your help.