• Announcements

    • LaToyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LaToyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'parenting'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Found 41 results

  1. Often members here express feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, stressed out and, in some cases, a little "cheated" out of what their life was supposed to be like, at this point. If you're a GP/relative caregiver of any kind and you ever have experienced any of those emotions, please feel free to unload them below. Same if you're a parent who's having a hard time/had ever gone through a hard time, raising kids, etc.    
  2. Will you be going apple-picking w/ your kids or the GC/relative kids you take care of this year? Or have you ever done so? Or will you be sharing/have you shared any other fun fall activities w/ them?
  3. In a MILA thread, the subject came up of differences between spouses/parents as regards telling young children "where babies come from.". How do/did/would you handle any such differences? Do you feel that parents need to be on the same page about how to answer such questions? And if one parents gives a response the other doesn't agree w/, how do you think the other parent should deal? Is it ok for each parent to give a slightly different explanation? Or ?? Same question if you're raising your GC/relative kids? But also, in that case, do the parents have any say in how this topic is addressed?
  4. We've talked about "coparenting" in this forum before, I know. But in MBear's recent thread in MIL Anon, "Money/Time decisions," a concern about "parenting w/... inlaws" instead of spouse came up and that raised the "coparenting" issue in my mind again.... Frequently, on these boards, "childrearing" has been defined as a combination of childcare and making major decisions regarding that child. As such, GPs have often been told that, no matter how much childcare they do, they're not "raising" their GC, unless they make major/parental decisions about them. Is "parenting" defined the same way or does it only involve taking care of the kids? How about "coparenting?" Does it mean "helping to raise" or simply "helping w/ childcare?"  IOWs, is a GP coparenting a child w/ the parent(s) if that GP makes some of the major decisions about raising that child? Or can we use that term even for GPs who watch their GC frequently and/or for long hours? Does it depend on whether or not the child is living full or part time in the GPs' home? Or... ?? What do you think? At what point does "babysitting"/"caregiving"/"helping out" become "coparenting," if ever?
  5. I noticed on the cover of one of the magazines my DD gets, that camps are registering kids now for this summer. Are your kids or GC enrolled/going to enroll in camp, this year? Day camp or sleepaway?   If so, what do you see as the benefits for them? And if you are a parent or GP/relative caregiver, how do you expect it will impact your schedule?   If not, what will they be doing, instead? And again, how do you anticipate that affecting your summer?
  6. GP.com recently posted this article about talking to teens and preteens about some serious topics http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/you-and-your-grandkids/communicating-with-teens Now I have 3 questions on my mind (please feel free to reply to any one or more of them): 1. Has anyone here ever remained in the "granny nanny or grampy or auntie, etc.)" role long enough to be supervising teens or "tweens" - say, being there for them when they came home from school or maybe taking them on vacations, etc? Or  did you or your kids were ever spent alone time w/ a GP (or other relative) in these ways? 2. Is/was your relationship close enough that the kinds of questions in the article might come up? Or was your relationship w/ your own GPs - or your teenage kids (if any) relationship w/ their GPs - close enough for this to happen? 3. How do you, generally, deal w/ such difficult topics when talking to teens? Does it depend on whether or not they are your kids?
  7. GP.com recently posted the following article on helping children to develop intellectual skills: http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/education-and-school/child-brain-development It made me think... Do you see intellectual/academic development as part of your role as a parent or GP (or any other relative, for that matter)? And if so, do/did/would you ever follow any of the strategies recommended in the article?
  8. Found this GP.com article which suggests ways to talk to teens about drinking/underage drinking:  http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/discipline-and-behavior/teenage-drinking That got me to thinking.... If you are/have been the parent of a teenager - or if you are/have been a GP raising an adolescent GC - which of the following most closely describe your policies on this issue? 1. We haven't really discussed the issue yet and I don't think we'll have to. 2. We've talked about it in a general way, but that's all. 3. There are definite rules in this house about drinking and consequences for breaking those rules. 4. Our main concern is drinking and driving. We've made a contract w/ our teen, saying we'll pick them up if they and their friends have been drinking - no questions asked. 5. We let our teen and their friends drink - even provide the liquor - as long as it's at home w/ one of us adults present. 6. Other
  9. I recently read that April is "Autism Awareness Month" and it made me stop and think: Is anyone here raising a child/GC w/ autism or any other special needs? Or do you frequently watch/take care of a special needs GC? If so, what would you like people to know about your experience? Same question if you're raising/frequently taking care of another kind of relative child w/ special needs. Also, please feel free to tell us about it if you know someone in this situation and what they say/how they feel about their situation...
  10. When I was a young mom, I remember that I often read that it wasn't a good idea to use the "b/c I say so!" response that parents so frequently rely on when disciplining their kids. Yet, here in this community, it's often recommended (w/ adults as well as kids, LOL!). What do you think about it? And as a parent or GP babysitter/caregiver, have/do/would you ever employ this phrase?
  11. Whether as a parent or a GP, what do/did you find to be your greatest childrearing challenge? (Same question if you're raising/have raised other relative kids.)
  12. Some people say it's harder to get kids outdoors these days b/c of all the fun, electronic toys, etc. they have in the house. And that this is more true in winter/when it's cold outside. What's your experience? Is it difficult to pry your children or the GC/relative kids you take care of away from the computer/3DS/ wii long enough to go play outside? And is it more difficult in winter/when it's cold out? Or easier, at least if there is snow to play in?
  13. GP.com recently posted what I think is an excellent article on teaching manners: http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/discipline-and-behavior/teaching-kids-gratitude   However, it's aimed at GPss, so now I'm wondering to what degree a GP can influence their GC's manners, unless they're actually raising them? And what if there is a conflict between a GP babysitter/caregiver and the parents on what etiquette rules to teach when and how? If "Gramma" or "Grampa" can't abide giving an item to a child until they say "please" but the parents feel it's enough if the child asks sweetly, what then? Or what if Mom and Dad are sticklers for "please" and "thank you" but Nana and Poppy are willing to look the other way, as long as the GC behave?
  14. Here comes December! And w/ it a number of gift-giving holidays. Do/did your kids ever get "the Gimmes," at this time of year? And what do you see as the best way(s) to prevent/stem that reaction? What works/worked/do you think would work for you?
  15. I'll be seeing a lot of my DGC this weekend though I won't always be taking care of them. Babysitting on Saturday for a few hours. Then on Sunday, they and their mom/YDD will be joining me at my pool club, along w/ ODD, SIL and a few family friends. Monday we're invited to a BBQ at ODD's and SIL's and, of course, YDD and the kids will be there, too. Should be a busy but delightful weekend!   How about you? Will you be watching any of your grands this weekend? Or spending time w/ them and their parents? Or will they and their parents spend this time w/ other relatives or friends or just by themselves as a core family, while you "do your own thing," to use an old expression?   Or if you're raising your grandkids, will they be seeing their parents, at all, this weekend? Or spending time w/ any other relatives or friends, while you get a childcare break?   Or if you're the parent of underage kids, will you be seeing the GPs/relatives this weekend? Or leaving the kids w/ GPs, while you go out w/ your spouse/SO and or friends? Or will you and the kids just be together as a core family?   @ All - You may also want to check out the more general Labor Day Weekend thread, here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php/topic/12007-labor-day/#entry234056
  16. GP.com just published and thought-provoking article about the value of "risky play":   http://www.grandparents.com/grandkids/safety/risky-play-healthy-child-development   But now I'm wondering how common/accepted it is for GP (or other relative) caregivers to let their GC/relative kids take the same kind of risks their parents might? I know there are some risks my YDD feels are only ok if she's there (like letting the kids swim in the deep end of the pool). It's not that she doesn't want her young children to ever engage in something "risky" - it's that she wants to be there if/when they do. And I'm wondering if many parents feel the same way?   By the same token, I know I'm more cautious w/ my DGC than I was w/ my own kids - I guess b/c, in the end, as often as I take care of my DGC, they are still someone else' kids. But I know some GPs who say they're "more relaxed" b/c they've "been there before." So now I'm wondering, too, which is the more common attitude?   What do you think? (Please feel free to draw on your own experiences or observations, if you'd like.)
  17. Whether you're a parent w/ underage children or a GP/relative raising your GC/relative kids, at some time or other, you've probably been asked if a child could sleep over a friend's house or have a friend sleep over yours. At what age do you think it's ok/appropriate/good to allow this? Also, how do you feel about slumber parties (which I tend to think of as "sleepovers" w/ more than one or two guests )?   Please feel free to weigh in, also, if you've raised kids in he past or just happen to have opinions on this topic.
  18. I've been hearing, lately, that fewer parents give their teenagers curfews b/c they can just call/text them to see where they are/tell them to head for home. I've also heard that some kids have what's known as a "call in curfew" - they have to call home at a certain time and then they and their parents discuss when they should actually get home. Or they have a basic curfew, but if they're not going to make it, they're expected to call home and let their parents know they'll be late.   Do/did/would you have a traditional curfew for your teens? Do you feel that the cell phone changes all that? And are/have their been any parent/GP arguments in your family over this?
  19. One of the biggest issues between YDD and DGD's PGM was about the number of days YDD chose to send DGD to preschool the first year she attended. Like all the parents there, YDD was given a choice of 3,4 or 5 days. She thought it would be a good idea to start off w/ 3 days and then "graduate" to 5 when DGD did pre-K (for which 5 days would be required, anyhow). PGM felt it should be 5 days from the get-go and argued w/ YDD quite a bit over it.   Soon enough, DGD was in pre-K and the matter was behind them. But now I'm wondering how many days you feel is best for preschoolers? And at what age do you think kids should go, if at all? Also, while we're at it, has this ever been a parent/GP issue in your experience/observation, as it was for YDD and PGM?
  20. In ShortStack50's recent thread in MIL Anon, 20thCenturyMotorCo mentioned parents who expect their AC to do things the way they "raised them" to. So now I'm wondering, do/did/would you hope/expect/assume that your kids will/would continue to practice the values you taught them growing up? And can you see being upset if that didn't happen? Same questions if you're raising/raised your GC/relative kids...
  21. IMO, this GP.com article does a great job of advising GPs how to answer some sensitive GC questions, while still deferring to the parents: http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/family-matters/kids-questions-and-answers   But now, I'm wondering if we nanny grannies (and grampies, etc) are more likely to run into these kinds of questions than other GPs, simply b/c we're around the GC more often. And no matter what kind of GP you are, have any of your GC ever asked you a question you just didn't know how to answer? Or where the parents disagreed with/were upset w/ your reply?   If you're a parent, have you ever been thrown when you heard the answer that a GP gave to one of your kids' queries? Have you ever been stumped, yourself, and glad to have a GP step in?   If you're a custodial GP, of course, then you're the "parental authority" in the lives of the GC you're raising. Still, do you ever find it difficult to answer any of their questions? Or do the parents - or anyone else - feel free to argue with/contradict your replies b/c they don't see you... sigh... as the "real" parent?
  22. How has/would having kids affect the shape of your life? How about grandkids?   I know that I was somewhat surprised at the way my first child impacted my daily routines, etc. And DH was totally unprepared for that! Even though other couples had told us this would happen, he was convinced it "wouldn't happen to us," LOL! At the same time, IMO, so many occasions - Christmas, Easter, even the leaves changing color in the fall - became "new" again, seen through the kids eyes.   As a GM, I often get to enjoy those fresh views again.  But, further, as a GP caregiver, I've become involved w/ kids, again in ways I never expected to be at this stage of life. I've had to plan my time around the kids' needs, to some degree (less now that they're in school, etc.) and DH and I haven't been able to do some of the things we thought we would, at this point, such as go off for the weekend, at a moment's notice. Also I now find myself being a chauffeur again, on some days (for school or an extracurricular, here and there).   And, of course, I only came to this website b/c I was a GM and, partly b/c I was a granny nanny. I was looking for ways to further enrich the time I spent w/ my DGC and found so much more.   I cherish the close relationship I have w/ my DGC, as their frequent caregiver.  And, given the circumstances, I wouldn't have it any other way. But my life is definitely different than it would have been if I weren't in this role.   How about you?
  23. In the debate thread called, "The Slap," 20thCMotoCo brought up the issue of different ideas regarding sharing. He pointed out that we don't expect adults to share their property to the degree that we expect kids to do so. Then again, there's the argument that kids need to share in order to play together. Then again, again, my DM believed that age was a factor. She wasn't fond of the idea of teaching kids to share prior to about age 4. She felt they had to develop a "sense of possession" first.   So... how do you handle the sharing issue? Also, if you're a parent and there's a conflict over this w/ a GP or other relative caregiver, how do you deal? If you're a GP/relative caregiver/babysitter and you disagree w/ the parents on this issue, what would you do?   Would love to hear any other opinions and experiences, as well...
  24. Perhaps you practice AP (Attachment Parenting) or did when your kids were younger. Or maybe you believe in FRP (Free Range Parenting), instead. If you're a parent, do/did the GPs ever take the opposite view? Or if you're a GP, do/did you ever feel the parents need(ed) to take follow more of the opposite philosophy?   Also, if you will, do/did such differences cause any conflict? I'm thinking mostly about in family daycare situations. But please feel free to discuss other such parent/GP (or other relative) conflicts, as well.   And please feel free to answer one of more of my questions below...
  25. A conversation in MILA, made me begin to wonder about a few things related to bathing infants... Do you prefer to bathe babies in a babytub, bathinette (do  they still make those?), the sink or the regular bathtub? Also, if you're a GP/relative caregiver of a baby, do you ever/are you expected/allowed to bathe them? And if you are/were ever the parent of a baby, do/did you ever let anyone else/ask anyone else to bathe them? If you're not a parent , as yet, do you think you would?   Please feel free to answer any/all of these questions below....