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    • LaToyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LaToyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.

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  1. Is it easier to be single during the holiday season or more difficult?
  2. Conflicted Grief

    How do I deal with this kind of grief? My one and only true love marriage became a rocky space that lasted 35 years before I had to leave. Yes there were good times, especially for the first 15 years. But he suffered with depressive bi-polar, and was narcissistic as well, and both of these intensified over the years. We had six bright and loving children together. Our family was the most important thing for us in the beginning. We were both very religious and active in our church when we married, but as time went on, he did not want anyone to tell him what to do; not God, not his boss. And when he was depressed, it was always my fault. It was something I said, or did or didn't say or do. And during those times he always made terrible decisions. Yes he eventually was on meds. Yes we had lots of counseling. But it was never really successful for him or us as a couple. It did help me to cope. Life was a roller coaster with good times and spectacularly bad times. Luckily physical violence was not included in the mix. But when he lost his third good job watching porn at work, and decided that he no longer wanted to even try to be mongamous, something snapped inside me, and I had to get out. By now our children were all over 18, with only two still at home. I returned to my parent's home to heal, found a job and went on. I have never believed that I should divorce. Not a blanket thing for everyone, just for me. So I obtained a legal separation and got on with my life, my children and grandchildren, my aging parents and my church. Then on his own, he discovered that he was even more depressed without me and our children. He worked to straighten out his life, returned to church and found he could enjoy his work. He made peace with our children and wanted to get back together with me, but emotionally, I could not do it. After five years of separation, he died very suddenly last April. As his legal spouse, I have handled all the details. I try to remember the good times. I try to forgive the hurt and damage he inflicted. But deep inside, I am sad, so sad. I know that there are many stages to grief. But how do I handle this grief? For the only man I have ever loved? Whose behavior could be so damaging to me, to our children? Whose choices were often so bad? Yet he was afflicted with mental illness? Yet he wanted to be a good man, a good husband, a good father? But left such a trail of hurt and pain behind him? How do I deal with this kind of grief?