• Announcements

    • LaToyaADMIN

      Tell us about your experience with signing up for Medicare   01/23/18

      We want to know what the process was like for you, any difficulties you experienced, the length of your process, etc. This is strictly research and any information you share with us will not be shared elsewhere. Please email jack@grandparents.com with the subject line: Medicare Process and we'll be in touch with specific questions.
    • LaToyaADMIN

      PLEASE READ: We are moving the community   02/15/18

      Dear Community friends and family,   After great consideration, we are moving the Grandparents.com community to Facebook Groups effective March 15, 2018.   This wasn’t an easy decision, but we want to bring our communities together and believe the best place to do so is through Facebook’s groups feature. We’re so appreciative of you and the diverse conversations and opinions you have provided over the past 9 years. Your stories and amazing advice have helped so many readers, and have reached thousands of GP.com users. We encourage you to retrieve any information you want to retain as the forum will only be accessible by the admin after March 15, 2018. We’ve created a closed Facebook group called Mothers-in-Law Unplugged where we welcome you to continue the conversations around grandparenting, family, and in-law relationships, and any general topics we discuss here. As the group is closed and each user must be approved, your friends and family on Facebook won’t see any of your activity. Request to join the group here: http://bit.ly/milunplugged Thank you to all of our past and current users. You helped build our community, and we look forward to continuing to interact with you in the Facebook groups. If you have any questions about the groups and privacy, let’s chat about here:   Sincerely,   The Grandparents.com Team
SueSTx

Welcome new members...still good link for 2017

22 posts in this topic

Howdy new members (yeah, I'm from Texas).  This is a good place to introduce yourself and get at least one post under your belt toward the 10 you need to start your own thread.

Without giving us too much identifying information share a thing or two about yourself.

I'll go first:

Hubby and I are both retired and the parents of two, a son and a daughter.  Our son and DIL have been together 17 years and married for about 10.  Our daughter and SIL have been married for nearly 15 years now.  Just reading this reminds me that we are getting older.  We have three grandkids.  The oldest is fixin to graduate/promote from the 8th grade.  High school, here she comes.  Our next GD is eight and very active in Girl Scouts.  Our only grandson will have his first birthday the end of the month.  He is always smiling even when he has ear infections.  He is a very happy baby.

We have always enjoyed growing things, used to do it for a living.  We tilled our little garden yesterday.  Now, we are just waiting for the ground to warm up enough to plant.

Edited by SueSTx
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I'm from Indiana.  Married and have been with DH for 23 years.  Together we have 2 sons & 5 grandbabies (4,3,2, 1 Oct 1 & 8 months) plus with stepchildren there are 3 more kids & 9 more grandchildren.  Hubby retires in 2.5 years & we're looking forward to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi again, MsSmiley! I just spoke to you in another thread. Sounds like you have a beautiful family! Good to hear that hubby retires soon - and that you're both looking forward to it! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone...Joined this morning, still trying to figure out how to manage getting around in this forum...feeling overwhelmed with life's curve balls today so I thought I'd see how everyone else is dealing with life, seeing if I can relate with anyone or find comfort in someone's advice to another.  Glad to be here.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 Welcome new member.  We all have had "days like that" when we have wanted to sleep all day and not deal.  Our members can give helpful hints on things that have worked for them, and things that hasn't.  

If your user name is going to be a privacy issue, you can change that here:  

 

Edited by SueSTx
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi New Member! And (((hugs!))) So sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. But as Sue said, just about everyone has "those days," no doubt.

Joined this morning, still trying to figure out how to manage getting around in this forum.

If you have a question about how this community works, please feel free to post it in the Member Questions forum:

http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/forum/41-member-questions/

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you RoseRed135

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome....Sue is totally correct. We all have "those days"...I'm currently involved in "My Plan" to get my house in order...I'm starting with my late DH's office, which has been a catch all since his death nearly 3 years ago. Ugh...but it's time. 

We've compared these types of overwhelming projects to eating an elephant....How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boy isn't that the truth...my "elephant" is trying to help with my adult DD and GC with a messy complicated and painfully split up with SIL...not a healthy marriage,their young and took on way to much responsibility or lack there of so trying to help her move onto the next step....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, AHODGES said:

Boy isn't that the truth...my "elephant" is trying to help with my adult DD and GC with a messy complicated and painfully split up with SIL...not a healthy marriage,their young and took on way to much responsibility or lack there of so trying to help her move onto the next step....

So sorry about this! (((Hugs!)))

Do you feel comfortable telling us in what ways you are "trying to help?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well unfortunately they purchased a home almost two years ago...my DD is a full time student in college so her husband is the financial provider....their in there early twenties so their flip flopping agreements on what will be paid mortgage utilities and car payments are differening daily, driven by emotion Im aware.  It has already gotten so ugly and I just want to fix everything for her and my grand baby. Im not sure what Im asking or just needing to vent. They need to put their house on the market and trusting that my SIL will cover costs until its sold is unnerving...the ache in my heart for my grand baby ughhhh..my DD just wants to go from A to Z without the steps in between...

  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, AHODGES said:

Well unfortunately they purchased a home almost two years ago...my DD is a full time student in college so her husband is the financial provider....their in there early twenties so their flip flopping agreements on what will be paid mortgage utilities and car payments are differening daily, driven by emotion Im aware.  It has already gotten so ugly and I just want to fix everything for her and my grand baby. Im not sure what Im asking or just needing to vent. They need to put their house on the market and trusting that my SIL will cover costs until its sold is unnerving...the ache in my heart for my grand baby ughhhh..my DD just wants to go from A to Z without the steps in between...

  

I hear you! Totally get your desire to "fix everything." But, realistically, how can you?

Are they working w/ lawyers? Chances are, this will all be dealt w/, eventually, in court. Then maybe there won't be any flip-flopping... Patience...

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She is into a week of the seperation, so the next step is contacting an attorney and hopefully coming up with a plan of attack. DD needs to get some sleep, that does help with decision making. Thanks for listening ((hugs)) back 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In our state anyway, their is a sort of "official outline" that attorneys use to file the financial obligations.  There isn't as much flexibility as a person thinks depending on state laws etc.  This goes for visitations also.  For years DD had the better job.  She stood to "lose" much more than SIL financially. There was nothing she could do to prevent that, even SIL saying he didn't want half of her 401K etc.  Sometimes there really isn't a decision to be made.

DD and SIL decided during the separation that the visitation/being away from GD was just something that they could overcome and got back together.  That was about five years ago.  They have matured in that time also.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just want to add to Sue's point that if they've only been separated one week, it doesn't surprise me that things are up in the air and they keep changing their ideas, etc. They may even get back together before this is over, as Sue's DD and SIL did. So please be mentally/emotionally prepared for that, too.

I know you're not looking for advice, so please feel free to skip this if you so choose. But I would be careful about doing much of anything for DD, right now, since you don't know where this is going. Maybe watch GC for her, sometimes, if she asks you to and you're willing (perhaps you've been doing that since before the split, anyhow?), but that's about it. And please avoid saying anything negative about SIL to DD, as this could come back to bite you if they ever reunite. Please also resist any temptation to get involved in the legal case.

Hoping everything works out ok!

ETA: Has DD asked you for any kind of help?

Edited by RoseRed135

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello I am new here and it didn't start off well but I decided to stick around :D the mods around here ROCK 

Both my husband and i are immigrants to the USA and have been married 40 years. We have two adult children and two grandchildren but alas one ac is estranged and so sadly is one grandchild. 

My husband retires soon and we look forward to moving closer to our son and a new lifestyle in a new state.

i look forward to meeting you all and being part of this special group . 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi pearlj.  One of my Ac live about 30 minutes away and the other lives 1 1/2 hour.  My DD works and I really don't get to see her family much.  With a teenage DD of their own, they are super busy.  My DIL is lucky enough to be a stay at home mom with a toddler and a 3rd grader.  They stay busy with school, scouts and Mom's day out.  DIL does call several times a wee, but we are lucky is we see them every two months or so.

My parents lived 550 miles away versus my ILs less than 5 miles, and I think my two had a closer relationship with the long distance GPs.  Being closer in distance doesn't insure a close relationship.

Enjoy your retirement and your new lifestyle in a new state.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, pearlj said:

Hello I am new here and it didn't start off well but I decided to stick around :D the mods around here ROCK 

Glad you decided to stay, Pearl! And that you've become such an active poster! Also,  thanks for the compliment to us mods! :)

Both my husband and i are immigrants to the USA and have been married 40 years. Congrats! :give_rose: My DH and I are married 40 years, too!  We have two adult children and two grandchildren but alas one ac is estranged and so sadly is one grandchild. Yes, you mentioned the estrangement elsewhere on the board.  So sorry about that. Hopefully, you'll reconcile at some point.

My husband retires soon and we look forward to moving closer to our son and a new lifestyle in a new state.

i look forward to meeting you all and being part of this special group . 

Best wishes for you new life! Meanwhile, hope you continue to enjoy this site! :)

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,, I have just joined and trying to find my way around this forum

My name is Jan, and I am from New Zealand

Hope to chat some more, and share my story, which I am sure many of you have heard all before, sometime soon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, AlfieG said:

Hi,, I have just joined and trying to find my way around this forum

My name is Jan, and I am from New Zealand

Hope to chat some more, and share my story, which I am sure many of you have heard all before, sometime soon

Welcome, Jan! Glad you decided to join us! You're not the first member we have from the Commonwealth, but I believe you're our first from New Zealand! How lovely! Glad to see you're becoming an active member!  :)

Edited by RoseRed135

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome AlfieG.  I did read your story and it actually isn't that uncommon.  Hang in there, it might get better even if it takes five years like it did in my family.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now