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RoseRed135

Coping with Holiday "Blues"

19 posts in this topic

Major holidays, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, etc., can be very difficult for some people, whether due to stress or loneliness or whatever. Do you ever have a blue moment or two during the holiday season? And if so, what, have you found, will lift your spirits?

Edited by RoseRed135
typo

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I'm not much of a holiday elf, however DH loved Christmas more than any other time of year. He planned for it, decorated, shopped, did his share of wrapping, cleaning & cooking. And he played the music......I detest most holiday music. I sifted & sorted through the music, got rid of most of it.

 

The kids want Christmas Eve "at home"....I will accommodate. It won't be quite the same....the kitchen in is mid renovation but should be finished by Christmas. I may not have all my stuff moved back into it, but it will be fully functional....and brand new.

 

I expect to be lonely for DH....knowing doesn't make it any easier, but I've made specific plans, including watching the grandpup the week after. He's great company.

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I love Christmas and the Holiday season, but do find myself getting pretty blue at times.  We're so lucky to be able to spend Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day with both our DSs and their families.  But, due to distance, I haven't spent Christmas with my FOO in quite a while.  This is what makes me sad.  We could make the trip, but it would mean not spending it with the rest of the family.  Most of the time, I'm okay, but there are certain things that really get to me.  I can not watch a Folger's coffee holiday commercial and there are a few Christmas songs that really get to me. 

The trade off is getting to watch the grands open their presents. 

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This strange Thanksgiving is making me very sad. I'll come around with more prayers --

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This strange Thanksgiving is making me very sad. I'll come around with more prayers --

 

Sometimes, change is good.  Sometimes, not so much.  Go into it with an open mind and heart and think about how you'll have so much more time to cuddle all those babes. 

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I'm finding that the older I get the more I feel the need to keep the holidays simple in order to enjoy the winter season as a whole- 

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 I am having a hard Thanksgiving this year.  My mother has been diagnosed with dementia and I am the major caregiver.  I know it will not be the same and that change does happen in our life.  My church friends and prayer is what will help me get through this year.

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(((Hugs))) to everyone here who is feeling a little down, as TG approaches...

 

@ Mame - I know this 1st TG w/o DH may be a little hard... sigh...

 

I'm glad, though, that you'll have the grandpup to keep you company the following week. No doubt, you'll have fun w/ him!

 

@ sdling - Welcome back! I'm deeply sorry it's under such unfortunate circumstances. Bless you for being there for DM (dear mom/mother) in her time of need, however. I'm glad you'll have the support of friends at church and prayer. And I hope you continue to reach out to us, as well.

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I ordered the grandpup a new bed; he's 10 and a bit arthritic so I don't want him sleeping overnight on the floor...he insists on being in the bedroom with me, but the bed is too high for him jump up. My Christmas day plan (since that's the day DH & I always spent together without kids) is to go see my Uncle, who is in residential care, get his suitcase full of old pictures, bring him a bag of his favorite Christmas cookie (my GM's recipe) and spend the day going through the pix and getting them labeled while letting him reminisce....he has a sharp mind and the memory of an elephant.

 

Sadly, a classmate of mine passed yesterday. I grew up in a small town so by the time you hit 7th grade you knew your graduating class. As a class we've stayed in good contact. His significant other is also a member of our class and now is taking on the unfamiliar role of "widow". I'll be mentoring her a bit over the next few months. When he took sick a month or so ago after not "feeling right" for several months, he spent two weeks in hospital, was told its terminal and his time was short. She brought him home last week, brought in hospice and it ended yesterday. A mutual friend, actually Mrs. Goose was with them as she was dear dear friends with them both. 

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I ordered the grandpup a new bed; he's 10 and a bit arthritic so I don't want him sleeping overnight on the floor...he insists on being in the bedroom with me, but the bed is too high for him jump up.

 

Oops! I realize I said "GS" before, instead of "grandpup." Force of habit. LOL! Sorry. No offense meant of any kind. (I've now edited that.)

 

My Christmas day plan (since that's the day DH & I always spent together without kids) is to go see my Uncle, who is in residential care, get his suitcase full of old pictures, bring him a bag of his favorite Christmas cookie (my GM's recipe) and spend the day going through the pix and getting them labeled while letting him reminisce....he has a sharp mind and the memory of an elephant.

 

What a beautiful idea! I hope you both enjoy the day and I'm sure you will.

 

Sadly, a classmate of mine passed yesterday. I grew up in a small town so by the time you hit 7th grade you knew your graduating class. As a class we've stayed in good contact. His significant other is also a member of our class and now is taking on the unfamiliar role of "widow". I'll be mentoring her a bit over the next few months. When he took sick a month or so ago after not "feeling right" for several months, he spent two weeks in hospital, was told its terminal and his time was short. She brought him home last week, brought in hospice and it ended yesterday. A mutual friend, actually Mrs. Goose was with them as she was dear dear friends with them both. 

 

So sorry about your new loss, Mame!

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I caught that....and I think its funny. The GB refers to the pup has his "puppy cousin"....he wants his own dog so bad, but they don't have the time to give a pet so he always stays a day or two when the grand pup is here....

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Well, I've made thru the holidays and my last "first" following DH's passing a year ago this past weekend. Yes, its already been a year. My xDIL made a comment about recognizing the day, which morphed into a picnic at DH's favorite park. My kids, gkids, DH's sisters, nieces & nephews and 2 best friends were there along with his favorite cousin, his wife and their son/family and xDIL and her new, very serious squeeze (we are nothing if not inclusive)....and we were rained out....The party just moved to my house that still has no running water or stove in the kitchen. Nobody cared.

We played the photo CD that was to have been played at his celebration of life (there was a computer cable issue) that was put on repeat. Some of the men watched the play-off games while the rest of us chatted. 

Its been decided that this is to be an annual event. I may turn it into a fund raiser for his two favorite charities....his high school athletics department and the ALS Association (his dad died of Lou Gehrig's disease)....

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It sounds like a nice get together "instead of" the holidays.

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Mame925 that sounds like a wonderful get together for everyone to remember your husband in a positive way and support you on a rough day as well. So glad you shared that. 

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Old post  I didn't notice

Edited by godsgifts
oops old post I guess

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That's OK GG, since we are approaching the holiday season, I think this one can come back to the top if other mods agree.

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I used to hate big holidays where tons of work was required to make the holiday special, in the way I'd been taught it should be special.  Special meant big fancy meals, and lots of decorating and lots of people in the house.  It all made me a nervous wreck.  I'm a good cook but I have S'sIL who are chefs or should be.  I always felt there was a competition.  Maybe it was in my own head, but it was there, at least, and very real to me.

Anyhoo, I decided to change the way of celebrating holidays.  Meals changed to favorite foods that were easy.  One Christmas we had lasagna, and one Thanksgiving we had burgers on the grill (we live in the north, but cook out year round).  We cut back on the crowd, still seeing everyone during the season, but not everyone at once.  Decorating is minimal. 

We got lots of static from family members, but I've accepted that I can't please everyone.  I'm not a nervous wreck anymore, and can spend more time with the people I love, rather than working to get things done. 

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I agree Kalana....do what works for you.

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Locking this down now b/c I've started a new one:

 

 

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