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RoseRed135

Just found out they're moving far away!

107 posts in this topic

Ramble on....and welcome @Ohiomom. Jump in where ever you feel comfortable. You will find threads dealing with grandkids being born away from us (2 of mine were born in Washington, 1 in LA, I live in San Francisco), but in the end I was present for all 3 births....if you don't know how to SKYPE, learn, it was a great way to keep in touch with those 3 until they moved close enough for me to see regularly. The "men" in my family have an aversion to talking on the phone, but will chat on skype to discuss their latest projects & interests in 'show & tell' format while the girlie showed off her latest tumbling routine, I watched the babies crawl. We also used skype when the #3 grandson had open heart surgery and was quarantined at home over Christmas...we dialed them into the family Christmas party where they opened their gift exchange presents along with us (we also compared dinner plates, Christmas Eve dinner is always a theme). 

My son is career Navy, so he's lived where they tell him. He left home at 20, is now 37 with 3 years more to go in the Navy. He's lived on the east coast, Pacific northwest and now SoCal until he's done. In between times he's been on a boat to places he can't tell me. For 11 years it was submarine corps...now it's Black Ops....I don't know which is worse...he was raised to spread his wings too...I never questioned his decision. Adults don't ask Mama's permission.

NC & Texas both has so much to offer. I'm toying with going on the Texas Dancehall Tour in October...and a branch of my family came to NC in the early 1700s...much to explore. Look at the big picture.

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I'm a Newbie here and found comfort tonight knowing I am not the only person with a heart that hurts because my son and DIL are moving 8 hours away with my 2 GS.  I just don't see how Skype or phone calls with a 4 year old and an 11 month old will replace spending time with us.  My DIL's parents are moving with them and honestly I'm a little envious of them.  I don't know how I'm not going to break down around them.   My son leaves next weekend.

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23 minutes ago, Imtheneenee said:

I'm a Newbie here and found comfort tonight knowing I am not the only person with a heart that hurts because my son and DIL are moving 8 hours away with my 2 GS.  Welcome!So sorry you're hurting, but glad you found comfort in knowing you're not alone. I just don't see how Skype or phone calls with a 4 year old and an 11 month old will replace spending time with us. Of course, you don't! And chances are nothing can "replace" being together. But, hopefully, Skype, etc. will ease your pain a little bit. Also, it may not help much to hear this now, but it will get better as the kids get a little older.  My DIL's parents are moving with them and honestly I'm a little envious of them. That's an understandable reaction, too, IMO (in my opinion). I hope you don't mind my asking, how did that come about? I don't know how I'm not going to break down around them.  Hopefully, it will help to keep venting your feelings here instead of around DD and family. But I don't think it will hurt to let them know you'll miss them, and even shed a few "farewell" tears, as long as you don't totally "break down." I wish you all the strength and courage you need to face this. My son leaves next weekend. So that means that DIL and the the boys will be in your vicinity a little longer then? I hope that makes it easier for you than if they all left at once. But I know, I know, you wish they weren't leaving at all. (((Hugs!)))

 

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1 hour ago, Imtheneenee said:

I'm a Newbie here and found comfort tonight knowing I am not the only person with a heart that hurts because my son and DIL are moving 8 hours away with my 2 GS.  I just don't see how Skype or phone calls with a 4 year old and an 11 month old will replace spending time with us.  My DIL's parents are moving with them and honestly I'm a little envious of them.  I don't know how I'm not going to break down around them.   My son leaves next weekend.

Welcome neenee, you've come to the right place! My son is career Navy...two of his kids were born 800 miles away, the third 300 miles away...I got on a plane and was present for all births (waiting room warrior for #1, home with the 3yo for #2, and waiting room warrior after getting the olders to school for the last)...DIL was generous with pictures and they were able to visit every 3-4 months so I bonded. When things started happening (crawling, walking, feeding themselves, special occasions, etc) I saw via skype. The older boy is not a phone guy, but he'll prattle on via skype, telling & showing me all about his latest project. The girlie showed me all her tumbling/gymnastics stuff, the baby was crawling and the dog was in every shot. They live closer now, and I see them at least monthly. Every visit starts with the 4yo flying into my arms along with hugs from the olders...the same greetings I have always had from them. These relationships are precious...the kids are now 10, 7 and almost 5. 

Send cards and letters, even if they can't read. Kids love snail mail...anything with their name on it. Simple one page "newsy" letters asking about their new house, school, friends, whatever will show them you care and keeping them in the loop with what you are doing, especially with things they made have done with you.. Talk to your son to get him on board with keeping you connected so he'll help them write to you. There are story books you can record for them to play...DS did "build a bear" for each of his kids to play while he was at sea...they love them and are especially important since their parents have divorced.

Ignore the part about DIL's parents moving as well...other than the kids will have an easier adjustment with them there. Try to see the good and let the rest go. My kids PGM, now 85 has been mostly a long distance GM all their lives (same with all 11 of her GK)...they all adore her. DS met up with her today with his kids, new DIL & her 2 kids...I saw the pix on FB....DD's comment on the thread was "most awesomest Grandma EVER!...She stayed connected...my DD, her first grandchild, just turned 40.

Sorry for rambling....hope you find something worthwhile out of it.

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Thank you so much for the quick reply and the ideas to stay connected.  I will definitely be utilizing snail mail.  I sent Valentine's Day cards this year to the boys even though they were in town and it was a big hit. 

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Skype is useful, I use skype with AC and GK.  

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2 hours ago, Imtheneenee said:

Thank you so much for the quick reply and the ideas to stay connected.  I will definitely be utilizing snail mail.  I sent Valentine's Day cards this year to the boys even though they were in town and it was a big hit. 

You're welcome. And obviously you are on the right track already...just let the emotional haze clear, move on with your "new normal" and make it work for you.

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