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RoseRed135

Did your family (or any family you know) fall apart over the election?

12 posts in this topic

I keep reading on FB, etc., general articles about families falling apart b/c of the recent POTUS election. I read about tensions between family members/ILs being so great over this election that some of them can't bear to be around each other. I even read about people COing their parents/kids' GPs b/c they voted for Donald Trump. But IRL, though I know family members/ILs who have fought/are still arguing over all this, IDK anyone who has actually CO/been COd by any family member/IL b/c of it.

How about you? Have you COd or been COd by any family member/IL b/c of their recent vote? Or do you know anyone in this situation?

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2 hours ago, RoseRed135 said:

I keep reading on FB, etc., general articles about families falling apart b/c of the recent POTUS election. I read about tensions between family members/ILs being so great over this election that some of them can't bear to be around each other. I even read about people COing their parents/kids' GPs b/c they voted for Donald Trump. But IRL, though I know family members/ILs who have fought/are still arguing over all this, IDK anyone who has actually CO/been COd by any family member/IL b/c of it.

How about you? Have you COd or been COd by any family member/IL b/c of their recent vote? Or do you know anyone in this situation?

I don't know, for a fact, how anyone in our family or my foo voted. I suspect how most voted, but we don't talk about private matters, especially divisive topics. My parents votes would have likely cancelled each other, if they were alive, but they wouldn't have told us for certain. We tend to follow their model.

My brother, who talks/laughs/debates a lot, has not revealed his choice and we're both quite proud of him for actually shutting up after he voted. DB, like us, has not shut up about injustices and horrible behavior.

We have a new POTUS-elect, (no matter how any of us view that person), now as citizens all we can hope to do is influence our congress people to vote for what we care about and SCOTUS to do their job properly. Both of us shut down any talk that goes against our own values/things we believe. In this house we care about women's issues and rights, racism, homophobia, lack of good safety-net programs for the poor/really everybody, effective national healthcare insurance, shoring up medicare/social security by changing/tweaking the programs, failing infrastructure (Eisenhower era highways and bridges), THE National Debt, and staying out of another war-conflict.

We also care about upcoming football championships. Keeps tensions on games vs politics.

I'm amazed what people say they see on FB. None of my foo or our family post divisive thoughts on FB. We tend towards group menu planning and times/dates of fun stuff, food somebody made (with too darn many photos), and pictures of things kiddies are doing. If we open FB weekly, that's often. IF FB were at all upsetting, we'd delete our account. Life is way too short to be miserable.

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I know my sister/bil voted for Trump, but they aren't rabid about it. We all agree that no matter who was elected there will be 4 years of discord & disorder. My standard line is "we're doomed".....without offering a candidate. DsD was heartbroken over the election and played it out on social media. I haven't said anything to her, no real point.

My social media is mostly family stuff, friends, music and catching up with school friends (by the time we hit 7th grade at the one upper division school, we had our graduating class give or take a dozen or so). I don't do much politics. I do, however support the military.

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I'm pretty vocal about who I supported and I have unfriended people on Facebook based on comments that they have made about the person I supported as well as about the person they supported. There are certain issues that for me are a hill do die on and I will reevaluate friendships based on that since to me they are fundamental issues that go to the core of who someone is. 

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I have unfriended no one, but I did have a few unfriend me (maybe 3-4 that I know of). One extremely conservative man had apparently unfriended me awhile back, but wouldn't stop making snide comments on anything I posted in mutual friends' discussion threads, so I blocked him. Snideness, I can live with, if it contained informational or persuasive substance, I would've been fine with it, but this was more like a 14-year-old snot-nose's, "You're just a stupid GIRL!" comeback. AND, to top it off, I work with his wife, so I blocked him before I could say something he would've felt down to his gonads.

I made about 25 friends, plus I figure if someone's unfriending me, they're probably unfriendly to begin with and they've done me a favor.

I do have a friend who is CO'ing most of our lady's group. A couple of them have said borderline-racist things before and she's extremely non-confrontational (gets flustered, resents the other person for being "difficult," etc.). And I know a lot of other friends who have unfriended people on FB, and have been extremely, extremely disappointed in their FOO's choice in Trump.

I feel the same way. I have been extremely dismayed by the number of women in my garden club who voted for the p-grabber who was roundly, publicly endorsed by the KKK prior to the election. I'm probably not going to look at these women the same way again. If they said the same thing about me, I wouldn't care-- because I'm not the one who cast a vote in support of a p-grabbing, university-defrauding, racist, tax delinquent who spread lies about Obama's birth certificate 2 years into the president's second administration.

Tell you what-- I'll "get over" Trump's election in the same way he "got over" Obama's election.

Although that might be overpromising, because Obama, as a decent human being, is 20 times the man Trump is.

 

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On ‎12‎/‎8‎/‎2016 at 7:44 PM, Arabelle said:

I'm pretty vocal about who I supported and I have unfriended people on Facebook based on comments that they have made about the person I supported as well as about the person they supported.

Yes, I know a few who unfriended or were unfriended by this/that person on FB b/c of their vote/political views. In none of those cases was family involved though I have seen a parent and AC duke it out via public conversation on FB. Saw a MIL and SnIL do that, as well. (Sorry, but I find it hard not to read such things when they're played out right in front of my eyes.) Fortunately, none of this happened to me. :) But I feel for anyone going through this, either way.

ETA: I admit, I sometimes wondered why these parent/AC and MIL/SIL arguments weren't carried out in private. But then it occurred to me that maybe they feel they're less likely to go off the deep end in public. In both cases, they ended up having lovely TG dinners together, as far as I know, so maybe, for them, keeping the fuss to FB is helpful. Can't imagine doing that, myself, but perhaps for some people it works.

21 hours ago, oscarsmaman said:

I have unfriended no one, but I did have a few unfriend me (maybe 3-4 that I know of).

 

 

Edited by RoseRed135

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On 12/8/2016 at 4:44 PM, Arabelle said:

There are certain issues that for me are a hill do die on and I will reevaluate friendships based on that since to me they are fundamental issues that go to the core of who someone is. 

I feel strongly that many issues surrounding POTUS-elect are hills to die on, but I know I can't change who POTUS-elect is at this point. Fortunately, in our family and my family, nobody lectures others about voting/politics. IDK, maybe we all voted the same, but with a somewhat larger foo, I doubt it. A nephew set up foo FB, I have no idea how that works - but our FB remains free of anything except family stuff. I can see from this discussion that using FB as only a family bulletin board works for me. Perhaps nephew filters content, IDK, but fortunately we don't have to add FB divisiveness to our list of family problems.

We and several family members have appointment with our US congressperson and our state legislative person, soon (any American can call for the same, they typically do visit their area over winter break). Appointments, imo, are the proper place to discuss/give input (going forward) to our congresspersons on guarding the rights/programs that are poised to be trampled.

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Yes! I had an aunt who became very cool to me over the election. We had discussed several of the issues and she was all over the place. When I met her comments with silence, she (correctly) ascertained I disagreed. This was disenheartening to me. I was surprised to hear her say she had bonded, however, with her granddaughters over the issues, however.

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1 hour ago, INCOGNITO said:

Yes! I had an aunt who became very cool to me over the election. We had discussed several of the issues and she was all over the place. When I met her comments with silence, she (correctly) ascertained I disagreed. This was disenheartening to me. I was surprised to hear her say she had bonded, however, with her granddaughters over the issues, however.

Anonymous poster hash: 43b1d...7fd

Well, I guess her GDs must have agreed w. her then. ;)

Sorry that she "became very cool to" you b/c you disagreed w/ her. That's sad, IMO.

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Incog, that many families have a no discussing politics or religion at family get togethers.  I know my FOO does.

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My brother and I disagreed on who we voted for but we have in no way let it come between us.  We are all adults and we all have a right to vote on who we want.

We didn't vote for Trump for many reasons and many are showing up now.   I didn't like Hillary, but had no other choice, or not vote.  I called my brother the next morning and told him I still loved him even though Trump won.

 My husband and brother got into a discussion once when we were out, when it seemed to be getting a little testy so he dropped the subject. I think my husband thought after all this mess going on he may have changed his mind some what, but he had not.

Soooooooooooooo, now it's no politics in conversations, Unlesssssssssssssssssssss  my brother brings it up to tell us what a Mistake He Made.

I have 1 friend on FB who liked to take jabs at me, and I refused to unfriend her. But after the election she still has so many negative this or that. I did say most people are off that train he won, so we're all going on with our lives, you might try it.     No answer.  

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