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RoseRed135

Welcome to New Grandparents 2017!

5 posts in this topic

Greetings! Delighted to have you here! This is a place to announce your joyous news of a new baby/grandbaby. :) But it's also a place to seek/give advice about the experience of being a new GP. And to vent, if you'd like, about any concerns, disappointments, frustrations or fears you have as a new GP - or, if you're a new parent, any issues you may have w/ the new GPs in your life. :( (If you posted in a previous Welcome thread in this forum, no worries, it's still here, just further down the page or in the back & locked.)

 

Please realize, though, that when people vent about the new GP experience or their experience w/ new GPs, they may make some unpleasant remarks about the new parents/new GPs. Often that kind of thing is part of venting. Please realize, too, that, when you (general) unload, given the wide range of opinions and styles on these boards, you might get some responses you didn't expect to hear. Still. I trust that we can all speak to each other w/ respect.

Please feel free to introduce yourself either in this thread or the following one:

 

 

Meanwhile, here are some threads that you might fine helpful. Please read them as needed...

 

Before you post, please check out the following GP.com thread:

 

To familiarize yourself w/ the specific rules/guidelines that govern this Community, please also read here:

While it says "on this forum" in here ^^^, these rules are actually for the whole community - Forums, Blogs, Gallery, etc. In fact, you'll find a similar thread or the link to one pinned to every group.

Also, please note that these guidelines were originally posted in 2015. and updated/refined since then. As such, not all of them may necessarily be reflected in any threads you might read that are older than that. Nor do we mods go back and edit/delete posts in such old threads retroactively.

 

And for some overall info about this site, please click on the following:

 

 

Also, please be aware that. as of December 2014, if you're a new member of this site, you must post 10 replies to other people's conversation threads before you can open one of your own. To read more about this, check out this GP.com thread:

 

If you're looking for some ideas, as to how (and how not) to amass those 10 replies, please check this thread in Club Newcomer:

 

 

OPTIONS/PERMISSIONS -  In fact if you'd like to learn more about what options are open to you as a Guest, New Member or regular Member,  please check out one of the following:

or...

 

If your email addy and/or full name is in your username, we recommend that you change it for greater privacy. To see how to do so, for these or any other reasons, just click on the following thread in the MIL Anonymous forum:

Also, for a guide to acronyms and other Internet terms often used in this Community, please go to this thread (also in MILA):

 

 

And it you have any further questions about how the Community works, whether technical or otherwise, please go here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/forum/41-member-questions/

Once there, just click on Ask a Question and key in your concern. 

Note: The 10-post rule does not apply in Member Questions but it is not for personal advice.

 

Looking forward to meeting and talking with you! :)

Edited by RoseRed135
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I am a retired new grandma...I wouldn't mind being asked to help out (a lot) when it comes to my grand baby...

I am frustrated...I feel guilty...About my limitations..

I don't drive well on big city highways..It takes a little over an hour to make it from my home across the city to my son / DIL's house when the roads are dry..

Recently I got a call from my son asking me to come help him with babysitting because of an emergency..The weather was frightfully nasty that morning.. I told DS that it would take me about two hours to get there and relieve him of child care...He was at the ER with DIL who was ill..He had my grand baby with him.

My idea at the time of his call was to have my older son, who was in town for a visit, to drive me to the hospital where my younger son was at.. Hospital was on his way out of town..

I mentioned to both sons that I would have to stay overnight.. I told my younger son that I was willing to stay longer if I could be of help to him and DIL over the next several days...DS mentioned that he didn't really want me to spend the night... If it became dire necessity for me to stay the night or several days, he wanted me to have my own transportation... 

In his frustration with my difficulties, my DS ended up asking DIL's dad, who lives close by, to take over the child care for a few hours..DIL'S parents have been the go to babysitters during all of my DIL's health problems and complications after childbirth..

In the 3 months since my granddaughter was born, I helped my DIL as a mother's helper..Once a week at first, then once every other week or so..

Fast forward to a couple of days ago..I was asked to babysit for the whole day while my son and DIL worked..I was happy to!! As it turned out, I was fortunate that I had somebody with me (family member).

The first few hours of babysitting were awesome, fun, lots of snuggles...Then I THREW OUT MY BACK :-( The last several hours were sheer torture..

Needless to say, once I got home, I was in and out of bed all weekend, laying low..

My son had to find somebody else to cover my days for this week..

I feel awful about my limitations.. I feel as if I am starting this grandmama thing off on the wrong foot..I don't want my kids to come to the conclusion that I don't love them or my new granddaughter...

 

 

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3 hours ago, doggiediva said:

I am a retired new grandma...I wouldn't mind being asked to help out (a lot) when it comes to my grand baby...

I am frustrated...I feel guilty...About my limitations..

I don't drive well on big city highways..It takes a little over an hour to make it from my home across the city to my son / DIL's house when the roads are dry..

Recently I got a call from my son asking me to come help him with babysitting because of an emergency..The weather was frightfully nasty that morning.. I told DS that it would take me about two hours to get there and relieve him of child care...He was at the ER with DIL who was ill..He had my grand baby with him.

My idea at the time of his call was to have my older son, who was in town for a visit, to drive me to the hospital where my younger son was at.. Hospital was on his way out of town..

I mentioned to both sons that I would have to stay overnight.. I told my younger son that I was willing to stay longer if I could be of help to him and DIL over the next several days...DS mentioned that he didn't really want me to spend the night... If it became dire necessity for me to stay the night or several days, he wanted me to have my own transportation... 

In his frustration with my difficulties, my DS ended up asking DIL's dad, who lives close by, to take over the child care for a few hours..DIL'S parents have been the go to babysitters during all of my DIL's health problems and complications after childbirth..

In the 3 months since my granddaughter was born, I helped my DIL as a mother's helper..Once a week at first, then once every other week or so..

Fast forward to a couple of days ago..I was asked to babysit for the whole day while my son and DIL worked..I was happy to!! As it turned out, I was fortunate that I had somebody with me (family member).

The first few hours of babysitting were awesome, fun, lots of snuggles...Then I THREW OUT MY BACK :-( The last several hours were sheer torture..

Needless to say, once I got home, I was in and out of bed all weekend, laying low..

My son had to find somebody else to cover my days for this week..

I feel awful about my limitations.. I feel as if I am starting this grandmama thing off on the wrong foot..I don't want my kids to come to the conclusion that I don't love them or my new granddaughter...

 

 

Welcome doggiediva! And congratulations on your new GD (granddaughter)! I'm very glad you came in to talk w/ us!

Sorry to hear  that DIL was ill so soon after giving birth to GD. It's unfortunate that the weather made it difficult for you to help out at that point,  but I'm sure DS and DIL understood, even if it didn't feel like it at the time. It's not easy for me to drive in certain kinds of inclement weather, so I totally understand. And I'm glad they were able to find someone else (the MGF - maternal grandfather) to do the childcare instead

Sorry to hear, also, about the problem w/ your back! What an awful experience that must have been! Hope you're feeling better now. Since you speak of your "limitations," I take it this wasn't totally unheard-of for you and you took a chance to be w/ GD and help our DS & DIL. Am I right?

Still, I understand why you feel you're "starting this grandmama thing off on the wrong foot." Please try to let go of that idea. If DS & DIL were unhappy w/ you, they wouldn't ask you to help out as often as they do. It may lessen now that they're more aware of your physical limitations, IDK. But I don't see how they could "come to the conclusion that (you) don't love them or (your) new granddaughter." To the contrary, it seems to me, you've done and were ready to do your best, even when it was hard for you. Besides, GMs aren't "required" to babysit, etc. Ds & DIL are very lucky that they have 3 GPs who are willing to do so. 

Surely your DSs and DIL can appreciate all  this. And even if not, no doubt, they realize that none of the problems are your fault.

Please just enjoy GD when you can and take care of yourself... Peace... :)

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Yes, my bad back issue was why I retired from trauma ICU nursing 3 1/2 years ago..Disk degeneration with nerve compression...This issue causes me to lose feeling (temporarily) in my right leg some times..

Thank you for your kind words..True, my son thanked me profusely for taking care of our sweetie...For me its a case of my body not letting me do exactly what I want to do , lol...

And then the guilt seeps in..Family of origin issues...When my injury (pulled muscle) heals, I look forward to taking yoga to strengthen my core muscles again..I was in fairly good shape, but I let it go over the last 2 years..

 

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@doggiediva - Glad to hear that DS showed such appreciation for your help!

So sorry about your back problem and how it has affected your life. But glad that you're up for trying new things such as yoga when you're feeling better. Sounds like a good idea!

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