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RoseRed135

Single on the holidays

11 posts in this topic

Is it easier to be single during the holiday season or more difficult?

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I'm still covered in family, so I'm not sure how to answer. However, this year will be my first Christmas with NO plan on Christmas Day. An old friend from high school is in the area over the holiday and he may be free Christmas Day...we'll see. Old friends are the best and it certainly would be a change!

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Let us know how your holiday turns out.

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Ditto.

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Being single over the holidays is the worst !!!!

Throughout my life, I was always with family and friends.

As a single mother, I made sure the holidays were fun for my children by organizing a family Chanukah Party every year. when I think of those days, not so long ago, my memory focuses on my grandson holding up 2 bags of gifts.....with the biggest smile of joy on his face.

Unfortunately, after my mother got Alzheimer's, people started drifting away.....family and friends. When my mother passed away, there was a dispute in the family about her estate, my best friend of 52 years decided to give up our friendship and my daughter remarried a man who purposely set out to alienate her and my grandson from me.

Not one person called me to see what I would be doing this Holiday. If I had a spouse or a significant other, I may have been invited to spend the weekend with my cousin and her husband at their cottage.......but in the 50 years I've been "single", I only was invited to dinner with both of them one time.

Last year I decided to have a small party at my house. I invited a man I was seeing, my cousin and her husband and a friend and her husband.  When my  male friend called to say he was sick and couldn't come, the other 2 couples backed out.  I had spent days planning the menu, shopping, cleaning the house and setting the table.......and was left all alone.

As you get older, I'm 73, you start to experience many losses:

  • a loss of health
  • a loss of energy 
  • a loss of dear family members (aunts and uncles)
  • alienated from daughter and grandson
  • a loss of friends
  • less disposable income, with inflation, and not having a dual income throughout my working years

Yes, being single over the Holidays is very, very difficult. But what I learned this year is to reach out to others.

I called a younger cousin who I don't see very often and asked if she might include me in something they were doing this weekend.

So I won't be alone afterall......tomorrow I'm invited to my cousin's for lunch. It has changed everything!

 

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So sorry to hear about what you have been through. Being single can be a pain during the holidays. Glad to hear that you have plans to go somewhere this holiday. Let us know how your lunch turns out.

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2 hours ago, Boobie said:

Being single over the holidays is the worst !!!!

Throughout my life, I was always with family and friends.

As a single mother, I made sure the holidays were fun for my children by organizing a family Chanukah Party every year. when I think of those days, not so long ago, my memory focuses on my grandson holding up 2 bags of gifts.....with the biggest smile of joy on his face.

Unfortunately, after my mother got Alzheimer's, people started drifting away.....family and friends. When my mother passed away, there was a dispute in the family about her estate, my best friend of 52 years decided to give up our friendship and my daughter remarried a man who purposely set out to alienate her and my grandson from me.

Not one person called me to see what I would be doing this Holiday. If I had a spouse or a significant other, I may have been invited to spend the weekend with my cousin and her husband at their cottage.......but in the 50 years I've been "single", I only was invited to dinner with both of them one time.

Last year I decided to have a small party at my house. I invited a man I was seeing, my cousin and her husband and a friend and her husband.  When my  male friend called to say he was sick and couldn't come, the other 2 couples backed out.  I had spent days planning the menu, shopping, cleaning the house and setting the table.......and was left all alone.

As you get older, I'm 73, you start to experience many losses:

  • a loss of health
  • a loss of energy 
  • a loss of dear family members (aunts and uncles)
  • alienated from daughter and grandson
  • a loss of friends
  • less disposable income, with inflation, and not having a dual income throughout my working years

Yes, being single over the Holidays is very, very difficult. But what I learned this year is to reach out to others.

I called a younger cousin who I don't see very often and asked if she might include me in something they were doing this weekend.

So I won't be alone afterall......tomorrow I'm invited to my cousin's for lunch. It has changed everything!

 

Like homey, I'm sorry about all you've been through. But I'm glad that you're not going to be alone this weekend, after all. And I'm psyched that you were proactive enough to do something about it!

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A wonderfully wild Christmas Eve Day luau at my house....17 in all, 9GK, 3AC, 1SIL, 1Sis & 1BIL plus me. The kids were great overall...my house isn't that big so we did have a few space invasion issues...The food was great. The GK did their first gift exchange amongst themselves this year....so funny...and all were happy with what they received. My sister had my name...she apparently likes to shop for me. There were at least 7 wrapped things in a bag, cookbooks, bracelets, a dishtowel she bought in Ireland with the Irish Stew recipe printed on it, another book (biography)...she knows me better than anyone, so really does find great stuff.

Christmas Day I spent the morning and early afternoon putting my house back in order, read the Sunday paper and just took my time. I went to dinner at DD's. She made her first prime rib, it was excellent. SIL's family was there...very nice people, but speak Chinese among themselves (and are really loud). So I stayed long enough to visit a bit, have that lovely dinner then gather up the grandpup (dropped off by xDIL) who is spending the week with me while his family travels.

The week is busy enough, I'll attend the local pro basketball game Wednesday, #1GB's team gets to use the pro court in the afternoon then will be part of the half time exhibition. I'm not much of a basketball fan, but this time it involves GB, so I'm there...

I have been invited to a friend's NYE party. She's been hosting this party for years. She and DH were friends since childhood, and we've formed our own friendship now that he's gone. Usual suspects every year, so its a really nice evening.

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Sounds like you had a great time for Christmas, Mame. Enjoy your busy week and your NYE party.

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A post in this thread has been hidden for review due to the fact that it contains personal information.  This post might be opened after a review by the lead moderator in this forum.

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On 1/26/2017 at 10:54 AM, SueSTx said:

A post in this thread has been hidden for review due to the fact that it contains personal information.  This post might be opened after a review by the lead moderator in this forum.

 

The post contains personal information and will remain hidden.

Cuchi -- check your personal messages, click the envelope at the top right of the page.

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