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RoseRed135

Welcome to Empty Nest No Longer!

9 posts in this topic

Welcome! Glad you found this forum! If your adult son or daughter has moved back in - or never left - this is probably the place for you! Same if they moved back in w/ family in tow. Or if your GC (grandchildren) have come to live w/ you (in that case, you may want to check out the Grandparents Caring for Grandchildren forum, too, further down the Index page). Or even if you're the one who has moved in w/ your AC (adult child/ren) and family. All others are welcome, as well, of course, but the focus of this group is on the multigenerational household.

If you're new here - or have returned after a long absence - here's some helpful information:

From GP.com... to help you get started/restarted...

 

... to check out your current options/permissions...

 

 

... and to see if you can start your own topic or why you can't...

 

 

 More from the GP.com Welcome section:

 

 

From Club Newcomer...

... for some ideas on how to amass those 10 posts mentioned in the link above...

 

 

And from this forum...

... specific posting and moderating guidelines...

 

While it says "on this forum" in here ^^^, these rules are actually for the whole community. You'll find a similar thread or the link to one pinned to every group.

Also, please note that these guidelines were originally posted in 2015. and updated/refined since then. As such, not all of them may necessarily be reflected in any threads you might read that are older than that. Nor do we mods go back and edit/delete posts in such old threads retroactively!

 

Also from MIL Anonymous...

... if you want help deciphering acronyms, etc. often used here...

 

... And if your actual email addy and/or first and last names are in your username, we recommend that you change that for greater privacy. To see how to change your username for any reason, click this on...

 

 

But if you still have any technical questions/questions about how this Community works, please feel free to ask them here:

http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/forum/41-member-questions/

But please understand that the Member Questions section ^^^ is not for personal advice.

Edited by RoseRed135
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I was an empty nester... my daughter moved out in the spring of 2016 after finishing college.  June of 2016 I took custody of my two granddaughters.. at the time, ages 2 months and 12 months.  The parents are not involved.  I would love to meet people in similar circumstances.. I find that I don't fit in with my single friends activities or older friends who have grown children 

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Welcome ChristineS...it sounds like you have your hands full with a baby and a soon to be toddler.  Be sure to take care of yourself also.

(((hugs)))

 

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hi, I am just joining today after reading several posts.  I have custody of a 13 year old granddaughter.  I got her almost 4 years ago from the other grandparents.  This child has been through a lot.  She is angry, has ADHD, and won't take her medications.  I am at my wits end.  I really don't have any friends to talk to because no one my age understands this situation.  Just looking for a place to vent.  

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I'm sorry you are so tired, but glad you found us.

ADHD seems to run in my Mother's side of the family and many nieces and a nephew have been under treatment.  My understanding is that it isn't uncommon for them to refuse their meds at some point, but that as they get older they learn skills to compensate. 

I understand also that anger can be part of the ADHD.  Have you thought of taking her for counseling to learn how to take control of her anger?  There are many sites online giving information about methods to try with these kids.   You might do a search and you might be able to find a local group of parents to give you some advice and support.

I am glad your granddaughter has you to care for her.

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3 hours ago, TiredInDallas said:

hi, I am just joining today after reading several posts.  I have custody of a 13 year old granddaughter.  I got her almost 4 years ago from the other grandparents.  This child has been through a lot.  She is angry, has ADHD, and won't take her medications.  I am at my wits end.  I really don't have any friends to talk to because no one my age understands this situation.  Just looking for a place to vent.  

Your GD is lucky to have you....Vent away! Adolescence is hard enough in a healthy situation...being bounced around must me so hard on her. 

I know you just came to vent....however....I do have a couple of suggestions that might help. First, clean up her diet...my DD has serious sensitivities to red/yellow food dyes & food preservatives, she's 40 now and I can still tell when she's been eating junk food...that meant scratch cooking, but what a difference...Second, regular habits...sleeping, eating, grooming, chores, school, etc...include her in running the house, helping with the cooking & laundry....Third, limit screen time along with other forms of isolation...let her know you want her with you because you love her. Last, if she isn't in therapy, get her in sooner rather than later...It's just a place for her to talk about the things that have lead her to where she is and how to be emotionally healthier moving forward. 

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On 8/28/2017 at 2:48 PM, ChristineS said:

I was an empty nester... my daughter moved out in the spring of 2016 after finishing college.  June of 2016 I took custody of my two granddaughters.. at the time, ages 2 months and 12 months.  The parents are not involved.  I would love to meet people in similar circumstances.. I find that I don't fit in with my single friends activities or older friends who have grown children 

I too was an empty nester once.  I've been raising a granddaughter since she was a year old and she's six now.  I understand how you feel about fitting in and it's very hard to find support.  Most of what I read here is problems between in-laws - which, while tough, isn't where I am at this time.

 

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13 hours ago, TiredInDallas said:

hi, I am just joining today after reading several posts.  I have custody of a 13 year old granddaughter.  I got her almost 4 years ago from the other grandparents.  This child has been through a lot.  She is angry, has ADHD, and won't take her medications.  I am at my wits end.  I really don't have any friends to talk to because no one my age understands this situation.  Just looking for a place to vent.  

Welcome Tired! And bless you for being there for GD! You've definitely come to the right place. As Mame says, "Vent away!"

I totally feel for you! Hard enough to deal w/ some teenagers, let alone an angry girl who also has ADHD! If it's any comfort, you're not the only GP today who is raising their GC. Nor are you the only GRG (grandparent raising granchild/ren) who has voiced fatigue and frustration - it's a common concern, I'm afraid.

I'm no psychologist, but perhaps some of GD's anger is defensive? You tell us she "has been through a lot," and, apparently, she has been bounced around a bit - from her parents, to her other GPs to you. She may be bristling/put on a tough facade b/c she's afraid she'll be passed to someone else soon enough. That's just a guess though. I could be wrong.

Like Sue & Mame, I hope she's receiving some counseling. And while I know you didn't come here for advice, I hope you don't mind if I suggest you get some for yourself, as well, to help you cope.

Meanwhile, of course, please keep coming here. You might also want to talk w/ us in one or both of the following threads in the Grandparents Caring for Grandkids forum:

 

 

 

Edited by RoseRed135

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9 hours ago, BabaKnits said:

I too was an empty nester once.  I've been raising a granddaughter since she was a year old and she's six now.  I understand how you feel about fitting in and it's very hard to find support.  Most of what I read here is problems between in-laws - which, while tough, isn't where I am at this time.

 

Yes, unfortunately, many of the GRGs (grandparents raising grandchild/ren) who used to frequent this site have drifted away. But new ones have joined us recently, as you can see.

Meanwhile, you might be interested in posting in the "Custodial Issues" thread that I just pulled up in the Grandparents Caring for Grandkids forum:

 

Or this new one:

 

 

 

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