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RoseRed135

Self Help books - do you read them?

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Do you ever read self-help books of any kind? Have you ever found one, well, helpful?

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Bringing Out The Winner In Your Child by John Croyle. He also has several other books on raising children. He turned down an opportunity to play in the NFL to take foster custody of several teen boys. This led to the formation of Big Oak Ranch...its a great story, google him. I went to a benefit for the ranches (also a girls' ranch added) one year, heard him speak, talked with him after and read the books. Very inspiring. He always treats everyone with dignity.

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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up -- by Marie Kondo

Croyle is no BS, no nonsense- Even if you don't read any of his books just listening to him speak is uplifting-

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36 minutes ago, Komorebi said:

Croyle is no BS, no nonsense- Even if you don't read any of his books just listening to him speak is uplifting-

Yet he is a very kind and caring soul....DsD's BFF is having trouble with her newly turned 16 son, it's been going on for awhile. I sent her Bringing Out The Winner In Your Child and The Two Minute Drill to Manhood. And I hope it gives them the support they need to get him turned around and on a more constructive path. They are in family counseling & I think he's seeing a therapist on his own, but not much progress. 

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Last night I started The Nordic Theory of Everything by Anu Partanen -- I was drawn to it due to its adorable book cover- It falls under the category of politics and social sciences but the focus is better life -- which sort of falls into the category of self help .. maybe?

51RLWIkJBCL._SX324_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

Adorable cover ..

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Interestingly enough, I never was much of a self help book reader until I was faced with my IL issues.  Much of this had to do with the fact that if a difficult person was in my life, I would just remove the person from my life or remove myself.  I was very good at doing this.  But I couldn't do it with my IL's as they were attached to DH, and I didn't want to remove DH from my life.  So, the IL's remained in my life, and due to just how BSC I found them, I began to read and learn a lot about boundaries and personality disorders and enmeshment and manipulative behavior and the list goes on.  Of the books I have read, my favorite remains Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend.  I think this book is so helpful for anyone who has issues with people who disrespect their boundaries.  I also like Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward.  I agree with her that there are three ways other people try to control you - through fear, obligation and guilt -  and if you are in a relationship in which this is present, it's time to make some changes.  Although it is not a book, I also really like the writings about the Drama Triangle.  Once I learned about the Drama Triangle, and the three roles that are played in it - rescuer, persecutor and victim - I was able to identify how I usually get caught up in drama (via entering as a rescuer) and stop doing it in combination with setting boundaries, and I was able to see this triangle played out everyday in the news or hearing about all the drama that goes on in my IL family, etc. and, and detach myself from it as in the end it was just drama, drama and more drama (my yoga practice also helps with this).  

As for parenting, I love the book The Blessings of a B Minus and my DS, who is an accomplished senior in high school, swears by the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Covey. 

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Like BSW's DS, I really liked Steven Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens". I have read scores of Self-Help books over the years and I find there are only a few real truths. I think these authors sell their books by presenting those truths from different focal thrusts using popular vernacular. .

One book I am presently reading that I am finding interesting is "Grandparenting with love and Logic" by Jim Fay and Dr. Foster W. Cline. My son has been raising my wonderful 11 year old granddaughter using the principals of Parenting with Love and Logic so I wish to mirror his efforts.

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I loved..." You are a BadAss--How to Start Doubting your Greatness and living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero.

Entertaining and motivating. 

I look at it as a "shot in the arm"--nothing that I don't really know or fundamentally believe but reading it helps bring it to the forefront of my thinking instead of autopilot.

 

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6 hours ago, grandtoGREAT said:

I loved..." You are a BadAss--How to Start Doubting your Greatness and living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero.

Entertaining and motivating. 

I look at it as a "shot in the arm"--nothing that I don't really know or fundamentally believe but reading it helps bring it to the forefront of my thinking instead of autopilot.

 

Sounds like a helpful book! Thanks for sharing!

However, we generally ask members not to post in threads that are more than 3 months old, unless they're the OP (original poster) or it's a "stickypost"/ thread pinned (thumb tack icon) to the front of the forum. If you look around, no doubt, you'll find more threads, etc. w/in those parameters.

But it occurs to me that perhaps this needs to be a sticky. I'm going to go ahead and pin it up, at least for a while.

Edited by RoseRed135

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And I wrote the title wrong!   (It's a little more motivational this way). :)

You are a BadAss--How to STOP  Doubting your Greatness and  START living an Awesome Life"

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I started this ^^ book- Its kind of fun thus far-

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Just came across another simply your life author Tsh Oxenreider who also has a podcast- Haven't listened to or read anything of hers but thought I'd mention it here in case anyone else already has or might be interested ..

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I read self-help books sometimes; I usually find them at thrift stores very cheaply so if they're not helpful I don't feel like I've lost much money and pass them on to others via a freebie shelf we have at the office.

A couple of my favorites that I've kept for years, though, are:

Harriet Goldhor Lerner's The Dance of Intimacy and  The Dance of Anger. Well, any of Dr. Lerner's books are good, I think. 

Also, a little book by Aaron Lazare called On Apology I believe is a real classic, and I give it to every couple in our family upon their marriage. It describes and analyzes the history, true meaning and significance of an apology, and explains how and when to make an apology. I re-read it every couple of years, myself.

 

 

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