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RoseRed135

Vent! Vent! Vent!

112 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, Nana-mom said:

Rose - yes they do, but you misunderstand the post - these kiddos will even avoid the other gma - as in leave a store.  So it's a bit more than 'busy'....

Oh...

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It's ok - know more happened than I know - just glad they do come around and visit the other gma!

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When someone becomes ill, experiences a crisis, an unexpected life event and is faced with having to pay for anything that exceeds their income and / or their savings, I've no problem offering help- When the life event doesn't exceed their income / savings and they ask for help before using what they have access to .. I have a problem with that- I've also seen how cash is just offered, no questions asked, to help another deal with their circumstance -- no plan in place, nothing- Just a do what you wish with it attitude- I guess I am just not that compassionate -- and THAT is a crappy thing for me to learn about myself- I'm happy to help, in my own way, if one wishes to accept-   

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I've helped friends with unexpected medical expenses...because they are people who live outside the norm...I have several good friends who are working musicians...not celebrities. Sometimes, historically, they lived gig to gig...but managed to make a decent living. They made too much money to get medicaid/medi-cal but don't have access to company funded healthcare or afford exorbitant private insurance costs...and the lifestyle can be questionable...Over the past couple of years one had a near fatal toxic gall bladder problem resulting in surgery, long hospital stay and a trip to rehab to rebuild his strength...he's late 60s...I contributed. Another had a quad coronary bypass after experiencing a mild heart attack...He was in good shape over all and rebounded quickly...but only catastrophic insurance so his out-of-pocket was astronomical...I contributed...Both raised their 'gofundme' mounts relatively quickly...both are greatly admired on personal and professional levels so people turn out to help. Both do a lot for community music projects in their hometown. 

A girlfriend hosts fundraiser spaghetti feeds/silent auctions/raffles for her friends/family who need help...she's wonderfully success

On another note, if someone wants to borrow money from me because they are having trouble paying their bills and are both working at decent jobs, before I say yes I'd want to see the paystubs, bills and bank statements....I don't throw money down a rat hole. 

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I suppose I continue to discover new limits -- and freedoms .. I'm alright with questionable lifestyle/s, don't wish to tell anyone how to live- On the other hand .. I might have knowledge of something that a contributor doesn't- And while I won't throw anyone under the bus I'll refuse to contribute and let others cut their eyes at me for not supporting a cause that in my heart of hearts find unfair- Someone once had upwards of 20K stashed that they weren't coming off of then accepted a bounty of charity- Even that wouldn't matter to some people, but it mattered to me- I'd rather give outright than loan but when I do loan there are things I need to know before I do- Sometimes what began as a loan ends up being a gift- 

 

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I don't like to feel pressured into giving at work, especially my PTO. My company allows people to give their earned time off to another employee under certain circumstances, for example cancer treatments, seriously ill child, ect. I might be inclined to give some money if I know the person and want to help, but I never give up my time off and I hate when other people try to guilt me into giving up a day because they know "I have it". I "have it" because I don't take time off as freely as others do and I am very conscious of making sure I keep a week in reserve in case of a more serious illness. Mostly I just feel no one else has any standing to judge me for what I give or don't, especially at work.

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5 minutes ago, missmm said:

I don't like to feel pressured into giving at work, especially my PTO. My company allows people to give their earned time off to another employee under certain circumstances, for example cancer treatments, seriously ill child, ect. I might be inclined to give some money if I know the person and want to help, but I never give up my time off and I hate when other people try to guilt me into giving up a day because they know "I have it". I "have it" because I don't take time off as freely as others do and I am very conscious of making sure I keep a week in reserve in case of a more serious illness. Mostly I just feel no one else has any standing to judge me for what I give or don't, especially at work.

Totally agree....I planned my PTO in totally different ways than my coworkers so always had a stockpile of hours. During baseball season I would take a 1/2 day, DH would clear his afternoon and we'd do a date at the ballpark for an afternoon game...or I'd take long weekends...or 1/2 days dealing with DH's protracted illness...he was still working, so no reason for me to take much time either....then surprise, I had enough hours to take a month off to go to Europe. Caused a big ruckus...I held my ground.

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11 minutes ago, missmm said:

I don't like to feel pressured into giving at work, especially my PTO. My company allows people to give their earned time off to another employee under certain circumstances, for example cancer treatments, seriously ill child, ect. I might be inclined to give some money if I know the person and want to help, but I never give up my time off and I hate when other people try to guilt me into giving up a day because they know "I have it". I "have it" because I don't take time off as freely as others do and I am very conscious of making sure I keep a week in reserve in case of a more serious illness. Mostly I just feel no one else has any standing to judge me for what I give or don't, especially at work.

Many people make the mistake of depleting themselves and calling it help-

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The new doctor / GP we established decided to leave the facility she was at- My husband needs a refill on his prescription which he requested twice and the facility has yet to address- 

My sister has been in the hospital prior to Christmas- The facility she was in for her specific conditions neglected to keep her hydrated and as a result when taken to the hospital was close to death- The hospital where she is at now is understaffed and has also neglected to see that she is fed-

My brother is another story- The neglect simply too graphic to describe-

 

 

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@Komorebi - So very sorry for all that! (((Hugs!)))

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11 hours ago, Komorebi said:

The new doctor / GP we established decided to leave the facility she was at- My husband needs a refill on his prescription which he requested twice and the facility has yet to address- 

My sister has been in the hospital prior to Christmas- The facility she was in for her specific conditions neglected to keep her hydrated and as a result when taken to the hospital was close to death- The hospital where she is at now is understaffed and has also neglected to see that she is fed-

My brother is another story- The neglect simply too graphic to describe-

 

 

Blow it completely out of the water, Kom, and go public with your story. Shame on any hospital or care-home practicing such inferior, second-rate, low-qualitybelow par, shoddy, shabby, unsound, unsatisfactory care.

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Posted (edited)

11 hours ago, BalloonPants said:

Blow it completely out of the water, Kom, and go public with your story. Shame on any hospital or care-home practicing such inferior, second-rate, low-qualitybelow par, shoddy, shabby, unsound, unsatisfactory care.

Mentioning it here and elsewhere might help others realize what they may be confronted with at some point in the future when dealing with the medical community- My sister spoke with two different advocates regarding the situation/s and the director of the facility -- not just for our sister's sake, but for others too- We both feel that it doesn't matter when what we say falls on deaf ears, not everyone will listen, but some will benefit and be informed regarding what to watch out for- 

The doctor told my sister that a part our sister's issue is that she wasn't eating- (?)  My sister cannot feed herself- And on many occasions her lunch was sitting on her tray, unwrapped, when my sister got to the hospital close to dinner-

This is nothing new- My first encounter happened just over two decades ago in the flashy, brand spanking new maternity wing of what was once a fully staffed, old school, catholic hospital- I was bleeding profusely after delivery and needed assistance and called for a nurse- I waited and I waited then finally just got up and carefully made my way to the bathroom and then back to the bed- When the nurse came in she looked at the floor, then looked at me, and looked at the floor again then left without a word- Sometime later another nurse showed up at the door, didn't enter the room, then threw a container of Tucks at me from across the room and said, "Here, shove these in your *****-", then left- The floor remained as it was until later in the day- At another point they dragged me off to nurse in a fancy room with glider rocking chairs with brand new cushions .. you get the picture .. I put in a request to leave the hospital as soon as possible -- and did ..

 

 

 

Edited by Komorebi

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