• Announcements

    • LaToyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LaToyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.
RoseRed135

Dress Codes (again)

76 posts in this topic

I think one thing that we're missing here is that high school isn't actually a job.

Two, that shirt would've been perfectly acceptable in any office job I've ever been around.

This was over collarbones. the article mentions 'and back', but given the cut of the shirt from the front, I'm guessing it was just as low (which is to say, not really at all) in the back.

This young woman wasn't showing up in a G string and propeller pasties. She wore a shirt that showed her collarbones.

Ridiculous rules, that are based on sexist standards, need to be protested, challenged, to fall.

Otherwise, there would be no women voting, no equal rights.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always told my two that school was there job.  It is training for the adult world.

That shirt would not have been acceptable in any job that I have ever had.  IMHO some styles are for after work hours only. 

Edited by SueSTx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, ImpishMom said:

I think one thing that we're missing here is that high school isn't actually a job.

Two, that shirt would've been perfectly acceptable in any office job I've ever been around.

This was over collarbones. the article mentions 'and back', but given the cut of the shirt from the front, I'm guessing it was just as low (which is to say, not really at all) in the back.

This young woman wasn't showing up in a G string and propeller pasties. She wore a shirt that showed her collarbones.

Ridiculous rules, that are based on sexist standards, need to be protested, challenged, to fall.

Otherwise, there would be no women voting, no equal rights.

Actually, I think school is her job. She's 17. And again, she makes no mention of protesting the dress code, only that she knew the shirt violated the dress code. So, Imp, you may be arguing apples and she's flaunting oranges so giving her credit she may not deserve. 

The shirt might be ok in a casual work environment, but would be frowned upon in corporate. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've seen people wear shirts like that in law firms I've worked in.  Never a problem.  Now, if it's a very formal type of office where only suits are allowed then I imagine that top might not be appropriate unless it was paired with a jacket.  However, let's keep in mind that school is not a formal office type of place.  It's freaking school and it's casual, very casual.  It's not like kids are required to wear suits at school, are they?  Kids are expected to go outside and have P.E., and play sports, and have all sorts of other activities that they don't have in formal office environments so lets not pretend like it's an office environment or equate it to a job.  

The entire thing sounds ridiculous.  It's not like the shirt was anymore revealing than the average tank top which I have seen plenty of in high schools.  Body-hugging tank tops were a staple for girls in my high school.  No one batted an eye over them.  

And it sounds like that principal might have it out for the girl.  The article mentioned that it wasn't the first time the principal had clashed with her and that because of that the mother said that the girl wasn't allowed to go with the principal to the office for discipline without being contacted by the school first.  I think there's a lot more to this story than is written and revealed in the video.  

And besides, the girl put on a jacket so I don't see why the principal continued to press the issue unless she had some sort of personal vendetta for the girl.  

If I were that girl's mom I'd back her up against that principal for what sounds like a ridiculous and possibly sexist dress code and the principal's possible harassment of the girl.  Maybe the girl wasn't trying to actively challenge the dress code but if it were my daughter and I felt the dress code was sexist and/or the principal had it out for my kid I'd back up my kid.  I know what it feels like to have a teacher have it out for you and how much it matters for your parent to have your back.  

I am thinking the dress code might be sexist because there was also mention of girls being pulled into the office for wearing leggings without long enough shirts.  Another stupid rule.  I see women all day every day in leggings and workout gear.  I wear leggings and tank tops all the time when I'm out with my kids.  No way do I think a kid in high school should be held to a higher standard than me in terms of dress.  

And finally, I am sick and tired of perpetuating rape culture by teaching our young women to not distract or get boys worked up with their "naughty" clothing.  I'm going to try to teach my son to not objectify women like that.  

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If the dress codes are unreasonable or sexist, the parents and taxpayers need to get behind a movement to make changes not leave it up to the students who are in danger of loosing their scholarship moneys.

Our local dress code reads that clothing has to be within reason and parent approved.  If there is a question, it is taken up with the parent unless it is totally unreasonable then they are sent to the gym to put on a track team sweats.  Boys as well as girls.

My biggest problem with this issue being discussed it calling the student out in public and trying to embarrass her.  What is that teaching students?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would totally back up my kid in this situation with the principal. Then, as Sue suggested, get behind a movement to change the dress code.

The principal's reaction is the bigger problem. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Mame925 said:

Actually, I think school is her job. She's 17. And again, she makes no mention of protesting the dress code, only that she knew the shirt violated the dress code. So, Imp, you may be arguing apples and she's flaunting oranges so giving her credit she may not deserve. 

The shirt might be ok in a casual work environment, but would be frowned upon in corporate. 

 

See, I disagree.

She's a minor. A child. Not at work.

And have you checked out a college or University campus lately? Why are highschool students looked at as 'work appropriate attire', but college/University students are not? Are women somehow less distracting there? Or are highschool (which are almost all minor children) students being held to a higher standard? 

Maybe it's b/c I've worked with editors, but just b/c the article doesn't say she was against the dress code doesn't mean that wasn't her motivation. I am basing my perspective on her actions. She knew it was against code, she wore it, ergo she was protesting the dress code.

And again...COLLARBONES. She was flaunting COLLARBONES.

What's next, a shapely ankle? *gasp*

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, ImpishMom said:

 

And have you checked out a college or University campus lately? Why are highschool students looked at as 'work appropriate attire', but college/University students are not? Are women somehow less distracting there? Or are highschool (which are almost all minor children) students being held to a higher standard? 

I've been thinking about this. High school, as I understand it, is supposed to prepare students for college and work, etc. But few colleges/universities have dress codes today, that I know of, though many workplaces do.

Regardless, this school has a dress code though like Imp, I'm wondering why "collarbones" are a problem. And like brit, I don't see where this shirt is any more revealing than a tank top (probably less, in fact). But perhaps tank tops aren't allowed at this particular school either?

As for whether the girl was protesting the dress code, on some level, perhaps she was. But she seems ambivalent to me at best. She may not know, herself, whether she was taking a stand or just being defiant till she looks back many years from now.

Either way, I agree w/ her - and all of you - that once she put the jacket on, the matter should have ended. The rest of the principals actions were way , way out of line.

It seems to me that both the girl and the principal have been locked in a battle (of wills?) for a long time. But the principal should be mature enough not to be drawn too far into it. So I agree w/ everyone that this principal's behavior in this incident was horrible and inexcusable. She should be suspended, IMO, or even fired. I, too, would totally back up my DD in this instance if I were the mom.

It also seems that there have been issues w/ this dress code before. IMO, it needs to be revisited and possibly revamped. But I agree w/ Mame and Sue that parents and taxpayers need to spearhead this effort, not teenagers who could end up suffering for it.

 

 

 

Edited by RoseRed135

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, SueSTx said:

I thought the principal is a woman. Yup. The article doesn't say so, but it's in the video.

ETA:  I encouraged my two to stand up for what they believed even in high school, but they have to be willing to "suffer" the consequences of their actions if things don't go the way they hope. Agreed. But I wonder if the mom saw Summer (the girl) leaving for school in a shirt that breaks the dress code and what she said to her, if anything. I suppose we can't know, of course. Walking across a stage is a minor thing in the scheme of life.  You still get your diploma and are a graduate. True, but it's a momentous occasion for many kids, something they look forward to. Notice that Summer's not complaining about missing any other activity but that. I can't help but agree w/ her that her four years of hard work and excellent grades should have been taken into account on that one. Loosing a full ride scholarship in another matter. Where does it say she's losing a scholarship though?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The article I read somewhere else says that there is the possibility of loosing her scholarships.

INHO...public schools have rules and regulations because these kids are minors and the parents and taxpayers want somebody else to be the "bad guy" so they don't have to...college is paid for by the student, parent or scholarship, so it is more of a customer based institution full of for the most part adults.

Our local college campus is full of kids that go to 8:00 class in their PJs.  Seems that the powers that be there are just glad that they bothered to get up and go.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As we see it from where we sit, those in a position to take advantage of students, of employees, of anything really, and do, is on the rise- The level of frustration shows-

Edited by Komorebi
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I read the story about the student with her collarbone exposed, I saw a girl who decided to stand up against her bully after she finally had enough.  I believe this principal had a history of bullying this girl without even knowing these facts, because the girl had got to the point in which she set up an arrangement with her mom for protection against this principal, and the punishment the principal handed out to this girl did not match this crime.  Stopping an assembly and clearing out the entire student body except for this girl, then bringing along an armed officer to intimidate this girl?  That is just offensive to the senses, and if it doesn't meet the definition of bullying behavior what does?  Talk about a completely powerless position this girl was put in, and for what?  Wearing a shirt that would pass the appropriateness test in just about every venue I know of - church, yup!, work place, yup!, school - yup! a courtroom, yup!

I am just glad this girl had her mom ready and willing to protect her.  Mom against principal?  I think the bullying ends right there, as the principal has no power over mom.  And in fact, mom can have this principal over a barrel through civil litigation; a complaint lodged with the school board; and a social media campaign against this bully.   The child I feel sorry for is the one who has no support at home to the bullying that happens at school.  God Bless parents like this girl's mom who go to the mat to protect their kids even long after they are out of the sandbox as some of the worst bullying happens during the high school years.

In the end, I think this girl is going to be fine.  I like her spirit.  I like that she stood up to this principal, and I think any scholarships she lost out on will be remedied after she settles with the school district.

9 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In this situation, I side with the envelope-pushing student -- in the absence of any other evidence she's been a PIA (and really, even if she had racked up a series of infractions, presenting a security officer toying with his gun and threatening arrest over an issue of relatively-modest apparel? The officer and the principal should both be canned for lack of judgment and for minor thuggery).

On dress codes (both stated codes and implied), I'm a bit torn. I work with a woman who wears dresses that barely cover her bottom and her cleavage is regularly on display. She is an excellent worker, no doubt about it! But the clothing choices she makes are more appropriate to a nightclub (or, sadly, a streetwalker, for reals). It's inappropriate for a professional setting. I've heard others comment on it (I swear I never have), and while no one I work with thinks we should wear burkas, there's got to be a happy medium in there somewhere.

I guess I'm doing some mental processing in this post. C'mon, Oscar, if she's doing a fantastic job, and her sexy ensembles are actually kind of cute (again, for a nightclub), why should you give a second thought about what she wears to work? Am I being a prude? I dunno. Maybe?

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I, too, would be interested in exactly what kinds of infractions this student has committed throughout the year.  If they are similar to "her collarbones are showing" I'm wondering if the dress code needs tweaking and whether or not there are similar requirements for the males in the school.  Collarbones are no more sexual than a woman nursing her baby.  I'm aware there are some folks who do find those minor things sexual, but that's their problem.  

I could see bringing an officer in if she was flashing people in the hallways, because it would be illegal indecent exposure, but I don't see anywhere in the news where that was the case.

I'm all for dress code requirements, especially for examples like Oscars provided above.  I could also be considered a prude because I'm offended by the males who wear their jeans below their rear ends, exposing their boxer shorts.  It's not like they are exposing their private parts, so no laws are broken; I just don't want to see their underwear.   

 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I will say again, this principal was way out of line and needs to be reprimanded for bulling a student.  I'm sure there is a list of others she has done similar things to.

We went to our local graduation last week...high fashion parade for the audience for sure.  There were skirts so short and stretchy that the young high school aged ladies had to tug them down every time they stood up.  I am sure someone got flashed before the night was over.

Several years ago at my nieces wedding, there was a group of cousins from Florida who were thirty something, I couldn't believe how short they wore their dresses.  You could see their underwear every time they slow danced.  I have a picture or two in the early 70's of myself as a newlywed with a short skirt...just not that short.  I'd rather see collarbones.  Back in the late 60's when I was in high school, my Dad once remarked that at some point in the future, the necklines and hemlines would meet and women would only wear a belt.  So generations for a long time have felt the "young uns" were pushing the limit...OH...and our skirts were below the knee at that time.

But the thing is, what is considered reasonable can be a community or regional thing.  I'm sure beach communities dress 180* from our local rodeo group. 

I live in a community of mostly senior citizens and we all dress modest for the most part.  There are a college girl or two who wear short dresses...with leggings to church...sitting with their deacon dad.  The wife is a high fashion lady also, but usually wears pants. 

I was testing the limits the other day myself.  I wore bermuda shorts to the grocery store instead of capris.  I got a look or two. And yes at our local WM, you find shorts so short there is just an inseam and a hem for the legs...they look cute on some figures.

I can understand why some private schools require uniforms.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, oscarsmaman said:

In this situation, I side with the envelope-pushing student -- in the absence of any other evidence she's been a PIA (and really, even if she had racked up a series of infractions, presenting a security officer toying with his gun and threatening arrest over an issue of relatively-modest apparel? The officer and the principal should both be canned for lack of judgment and for minor thuggery).

On dress codes (both stated codes and implied), I'm a bit torn. I work with a woman who wears dresses that barely cover her bottom and her cleavage is regularly on display. She is an excellent worker, no doubt about it! But the clothing choices she makes are more appropriate to a nightclub (or, sadly, a streetwalker, for reals). It's inappropriate for a professional setting. I've heard others comment on it (I swear I never have), and while no one I work with thinks we should wear burkas, there's got to be a happy medium in there somewhere.

I guess I'm doing some mental processing in this post. C'mon, Oscar, if she's doing a fantastic job, and her sexy ensembles are actually kind of cute (again, for a nightclub), why should you give a second thought about what she wears to work? Am I being a prude? I dunno. Maybe?

I agree. Why is it we judge other peoples attire?

School uniforms solve issues, cheaper than regular clothes, kids look decent. I guess that's a different topic.

Dress codes to cut down on distractions make me nuts. Distractions are distractions. For teenagers everything is distracting. For adults there are lots of distractions as well, I distract my husband by walking in a room and he equally distracts me. So? Learn to live with it and act appropriately. Or move into St Mark's where there are no distractions.  ;)

The notion that females are somehow responsible for males disgusting, abusive, degrading behavior doesn't work for me. Children should to be taught decent manners and how to behave politely. My parents taught that mannerly people kept their hands to themselves and kept their eyes on the other persons eyes, that both sexes have brains and worth and can control themselves. We taught our kids the same. Even my totally wild ridiculous brother and sons followed those simple rules, have impeccable manners, and treat females properly (what they carry in their hearts, I'm not as sure).

I'm one of those women who does have to endure being very over endowed. I cover myself with care, no shirts that pull and gap, no visible cleavage - even in swim suits, I buy minimizers with high necks. It's a PITA to feel the need to select clothing/tops based on what others might think of my figure. This Memorial Day weekend is a good example. We are alone, currently, so I swam in a bikini this morning. Tomorrow afternoon I'll drag out my normal high neck tanksuits - really, why should I have to be less comfortable because huge numbers of people are here? Because I worry about being that distraction - because we allow blame to fall on the temptress women, men can't help but be tempted and distracted. And even when we don't think we're allowing men that pass, we are.

I was talking about this with a friend recently. I don't have a solution other than to stop blaming women for men's problems.

I don't think this dress code is the answer. Collar bones really shouldn't be added to the list of things females need to keep covered. "No visible cleavage, only X number of inches above the knees, no midriffs showing, and trousers, skirts and shorts fitted to the waist" - really doesn't that cover most modesty issues for school kids?

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, JanelleK said:

 I don't have a solution other than to stop blaming women for men's problems.

^^^^I agree.  

Personally, I find some muscle-bound men attractive.  However, it's up to me to control myself and not go drooling all over every muscular guy in short sleeves.  I don't think anyone will be making any rules that men can't wear short-sleeved shirts just to spare me from making an arse of myself.

 

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, LilMommy said:

^^^^I agree.  

Personally, I find some muscle-bound men attractive.  However, it's up to me to control myself and not go drooling all over every muscular guy in short sleeves.  I don't think anyone will be making any rules that men can't wear short-sleeved shirts just to spare me from making an arse of myself.

 

For me, a guy in a suit is a head turner. BAN THE SUITS!

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
42 minutes ago, LilMommy said:

Personally, I find some muscle-bound men attractive.... every muscular guy in short sleeves.

28 minutes ago, ImpishMom said:

For me, a guy in a suit is a head turner. BAN THE SUITS!

I'd have to ban white Church shirts un-tucked over really slim jeans with driving moccasins and no socks

So as usual, to each their own.

Maybe we need to ban clothes, nekked like we were born, everybody the same.
 

 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a big fan of the suit as well....DH was overweight his entire life and was bullied in school because of it...while always a big man, his body balanced out in his early 20s and I always thought he was very handsome and reasonably fit....but in his head he always had a bit of an "ugly duckling" complex that followed him throughout his life. He was always a very casual dresser, so when events came along that required a new look, we went shopping, had things tailored...to give him a much more sophisticated, elegant look...he still couldn't get it through his head that he looked like a million bucks and yes, those women are giving him another look. He looked killer in his suit. 

I learned appropriateness from my MGM who was a department head in the world headquarters of a major bank. Never have been self conscious about the way I dress...appropriate for the event.

On the flip side, I came of age in the 60s in the San Francisco area...we challenged dress codes, burned bras, the boys grew their hair out...all successfully.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, JanelleK said:

 Because I worry about being that distraction - because we allow blame to fall on the temptress women, men can't help but be tempted and distracted. And even when we don't think we're allowing men that pass, we are.

 

It seems like that is one of the main reason why some of these dress codes exists - so as not to be a distraction to the boys, as if we are second class citizens that must accommodate the other sex.  How about any boy who doesn't have the ability to avert his eyes and not objectify a female put on a blindfold.  I would like to adopt that dress standard in our schools.

Edited by BSW
5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/26/2017 at 0:49 PM, BSW said:

It seems like that is one of the main reason why some of these dress codes exists - so as not to be a distraction to the boys, as if we are second class citizens that must accommodate the other sex.  How about any boy who doesn't have the ability to avert his eyes and not objectify a female put on a blindfold.  I would like to adopt that dress standard in our schools.

On 5/25/2017 at 8:22 PM, britomart said:

And finally, I am sick and tired of perpetuating rape culture by teaching our young women to not distract or get boys worked up with their "naughty" clothing.  I'm going to try to teach my son to not objectify women like that.  

This long weekend my brother and SisIL wandered over in the late evenings (once all LOs were in bed). Desserts and hot tub for the 4 of us. Chatter came around to a lawsuit that was settled a few months back - involving gender discrimination. Was justice served, who was in the wrong? She won several hundred thousand, it seems she's satisfied. During this quasi debate I switched it round - are females ever in the wrong because the poor guys are mindless twits about females attire? Nope, it's never the fault of the victim. (duh)  What if the lady in the case dressed in a provocative manner at work? Nope. DB allowed what is important is that she brought a similar case a few years ago in another state. She won again, maybe she has history of being quick to sue and has not really faced any gender discrimination? I don't think she'd be accused of serial wrong doing, but smoke and fire? Regardless, my brother admitted "I've become convinced, over time (because I've hammered on him), that women dress for themselves, not for attention from men".

The point I've always tried to make to my self centered brother - it's not about ridiculous you. Women (other than your wife) don't care what you think of their clothing, get over yourself. Don't fall into being offensive. Beings the notion that women dress for their own comfort seems logical to my brother - I wore a Vneck swimsuit in the hot tub. It was a test. I was much more comfortable than in my high neck suits and hope I silently reinforced the idea that I don't exist or dress for men, rather for myself. 

We'll see. Progress has to start somewhere. I decided to try and stop thinking I could be a distraction (how vain anyway). My brother can just continue to avert his eyes or switch to blindfolds.

 

Edited by JanelleK
space

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2017-05-31 at 9:32 PM, JanelleK said:

This long weekend my brother and SisIL wandered over in the late evenings (once all LOs were in bed). Desserts and hot tub for the 4 of us. Chatter came around to a lawsuit that was settled a few months back - involving gender discrimination. Was justice served, who was in the wrong? She won several hundred thousand, it seems she's satisfied. During this quasi debate I switched it round - are females ever in the wrong because the poor guys are mindless twits about females attire? Nope, it's never the fault of the victim. (duh)  What if the lady in the case dressed in a provocative manner at work? Nope. DB allowed what is important is that she brought a similar case a few years ago in another state. She won again, maybe she has history of being quick to sue and has not really faced any gender discrimination? I don't think she'd be accused of serial wrong doing, but smoke and fire? Regardless, my brother admitted "I've become convinced, over time (because I've hammered on him), that women dress for themselves, not for attention from men".

The point I've always tried to make to my self centered brother - it's not about ridiculous you. Women (other than your wife) don't care what you think of their clothing, get over yourself. Don't fall into being offensive. Beings the notion that women dress for their own comfort seems logical to my brother - I wore a Vneck swimsuit in the hot tub. It was a test. I was much more comfortable than in my high neck suits and hope I silently reinforced the idea that I don't exist or dress for men, rather for myself. 

We'll see. Progress has to start somewhere. I decided to try and stop thinking I could be a distraction (how vain anyway). My brother can just continue to avert his eyes or switch to blindfolds.

 

You keep rocking the suits that you're most comfortable in, Janelle. Good for you!

I've pointed out how freaking arrogant and egotistical it is for ANYONE to think that someone is dressing to attract their attention. 

"She wouldn't wear short skirts/low cut blouses if she didn't want attention!"

Oh, get over yourself. Perhaps she feels PRETTY wearing them? Perhaps they make her feel feminine and good about herself? Perhaps it gives her a boost of confidence to feel good wearing what she's wearing? Why is it assumed that the only motivation a woman can ever have is to attract hormonal attention?

I have several dresses that make me feel feminine and pretty and even *gasp* Princessy. Yep, I admit it. I wear them b/c of how they make *me* feel.

That my husband thinks my one sundress is va va va voom had nothing to do with my choosing to buy it and wear it. In fact, b/c it's full skirt, ankle length, it didn't occur to me at all that he'd feel one way or the other about it. I don't doubt, however, that it's how *I* feel when wearing it that is part of the attraction for him. I carry myself more confidently, b/c I feel good about how I look.

I also have a pair of black high heeled boots. Completely impractical, really. But I'd wanted boots like this FOREVER. So, a few years ago, I bought a pair. (The fact that they were on major sale had something to do with finally pushing me over the edge, I'll admit). And I *feel* amazing when I wear them. Again, that my husband thinks heeled boots are appealing had nothing to do with buying them, or wearing them.

Now, I *do* freely admit that there ARE times that I dress with the intention of pleasing my husband. If we're going on an actual Date Night, vs grocery shopping without kids, for example. And he knows it, b/c I'll ask his input. "Which dress/outfit do you like better?" He does the same. "This shirt or that? Jeans or dress pants? Tie? Which one do you like better?" 

But the idea that a woman dresses any which way to attract attention? Bull doody. It's 2017. Time to get past the idea that a woman's primary role/value is to attract a mate.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, ImpishMom said:

But the idea that a woman dresses any which way to attract attention? Bull doody. It's 2017. Time to get past the idea that a woman's primary role/value is to attract a mate.

Sadly, there are still women/girls in our society who are taught that your first responsibility is to get a man so they don't build confidence in other areas. And as ridiculous as that sounds in 2017, the evidence is all around you. I see it in school everyday. These girls behave one way with their girlfriends then are posing and flirting (in a very exaggerated way) when the boys are around. They want the attention.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Mame925 said:

Sadly, there are still women/girls in our society who are taught that your first responsibility is to get a man so they don't build confidence in other areas. And as ridiculous as that sounds in 2017, the evidence is all around you. I see it in school everyday. These girls behave one way with their girlfriends then are posing and flirting (in a very exaggerated way) when the boys are around. They want the attention.

Some girls, yes. Some women, yes.

But it's time to stop applying that as the 'rule', that a woman must be dressing to attact attention. And, you're also referring to behaviour, vs appearance.

It's time to stop asking victims of assault, "What were you wearing?" "How much did you have to drink?" "Were you flirting with him?" "Why were you there?"

All of that implies that the victim is in some way responsible for their assault.

The only person responsible for the assault is the one who did the assaulting. I don't give a fuzzy rat's hiney if a woman was wearing a napkin and a smile, she is NOT RESPONSIBLE for being assaulted. Period.

NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO ASSAULT ANOTHER PERSON.

I don't care what 'provocation' there was. How anyone was dressed, what was said, how they behaved prior to the assault. 

If you're not defending yourself from that person, or saving their life, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TOUCH THEM.

It doesn't matter how 'sexy' they are. It doesn't matter if you think that she actually wanted it, despite saying no. It doesn't matter if they're your spouse, long term partner. YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER ANOTHER PERSON'S BODY. You may have been granted the PRIVILEDGE of access to their body, but that can be revoked at any time, for as long a time as that person chooses.

(Obvious exceptions are for minor children who need physical assistance/attendance from an adult, be it their parent/guardian, or one who is trusted to do so. But children too have the right of physical autonomy, and to say no to physical affection to anyone and everyone.)

And frankly, I see a dress code in school as being a contributor to rape culture. It teaches young girls that their bodies are a distraction, and teaches boys that girls are responsible for how the boys feel, that the girls are to blame for their hormones.

 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.