• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.
RoseRed135

Dress Codes (again)

62 posts in this topic

57 minutes ago, ImpishMom said:

And frankly, I see a dress code in school as being a contributor to rape culture. It teaches young girls that their bodies are a distraction, and teaches boys that girls are responsible for how the boys feel, that the girls are to blame for their hormones.

 

In theory, absolutely. However, and i should have made myself a bit clearer above, these young women dress to impress, just who they are trying to impress remains a bit cloudy. Then we get back to the topic of what's appropriate for a school day. PJ pants & slippers don't belong in school any more than bare midriff spandex tube tops & pants or other club wear...we get both here. And its deliberate. There is no excuse for touching someone without permission, which needs to continue to be taught to our sons separate from anything else.

I don't wear my chore clothes to the store. What I'd wear to a business meeting is not what I'd wear to the ballpark. And on it goes....appropriateness. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to interject that I think Sue's dad is a pip with a quip: (paraphrasing) "If women's skirts get any higher and their necklines get any lower, they'll be wearing belts soon."

I roared when I read that. Hilarious! He was a funny guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Beings the original clip/post was of a gal in a perfectly fine blouse, who was expelled by the principal wrongly, I think we're all scrambling a lot of different eggs (me included).

1)  I think we could agree that the principal was wrong.
2)  I think we could agree the school has a wonky dress code if that blouse was unacceptable.
3)  I think it's true to say that the school(s) should not be writing dress code based on distractions for hormonal teen males. Rather the school dress code should be about what is appropriate school attire for pupils in that location. Every school should have a dress code that disallows PJs, midriff or cleavage or bits exposed, pants below waistlines, in my opinion.
4)  I think we allow men and boys a pass by acting as if they are mindless twits who are tempted beyond their own level of decency and control by women's clothing or flirtatious behavior. Same for girls being tempted by boys looks, flirting and clothing. No victim blaming is acceptable.
5)  I think everybody (both sexes) has to learn no means no, BUT you better wait for yes means yes.
Everybody - high school kids, college kids, people on dates, couples, people who are married. Nobody has any right to touch anyone's body without permission (obviously infants, small kids, and people who need care in AL or hospital excluded).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Mame925 said:

In theory, absolutely. However, and i should have made myself a bit clearer above, these young women dress to impress, just who they are trying to impress remains a bit cloudy. Then we get back to the topic of what's appropriate for a school day. PJ pants & slippers don't belong in school any more than bare midriff spandex tube tops & pants or other club wear...we get both here. And its deliberate. There is no excuse for touching someone without permission, which needs to continue to be taught to our sons separate from anything else.

I don't wear my chore clothes to the store. What I'd wear to a business meeting is not what I'd wear to the ballpark. And on it goes....appropriateness. 

But again, it comes down to, unless you're in that person's head, assumptions are being made in regards to 'dress to impress'.

I dress appropriately...if you mean I keep all my bits decently covered, and geared to what I'm doing.

But, I'm weird too. I prefer wearing ankle length, flowy skirts, dresses in the warm weather, vs shorts. And, it has been remarked upon, positive/negative.

I had someone look at my family size, and ask if I was in one of those 'weird churches', and was I *allowed* to wear pants? I heard one woman mutter that I wasn't a local, and didn't I know how to dress, and I must think I'm better than everyone else. Someone else told me I was too young to be a hippie.

Nope. I just really, REALLY like my skirts. I feel pretty and feminine. I can run after Minions without a problem, bend and reach and such without flashing anyone, or being restricted in movement (athletic style sandals ftw!) I think I own a grand total of two pairs of shorts, and use them for if I'm mucking about in the yard. Should I have to change my personal style to 'fit in'? So others don't get the wrong message, or judge me based on their own prejudices?

Nah. To heck with them.

If someone's going to read something into my wearing ankle length skirts and dresses, then they're being petty, narrow minded, judgemental, possibly insecure, and not likely someone who's company I'd enjoy anyways.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, ImpishMom said:

If someone's going to read something into my wearing ankle length skirts and dresses, then they're being petty, narrow minded, judgemental, possibly insecure, and not likely someone who's company I'd enjoy anyways.

Isn't that petty judgement on their part? You are appropriate, that's all that counts. The rest is a matter of taste & style. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Mame925 said:

Isn't that petty judgement on their part? You are appropriate, that's all that counts. The rest is a matter of taste & style. 

Ah, but in their view, I'm not being appropriate. I'm dressing fancy, in my skirts, when others are in shorts/jeans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

1 minute ago, ImpishMom said:

Ah, but in their view, I'm not being appropriate. I'm dressing fancy, in my skirts, when others are in shorts/jeans.

Then they don't know the difference between appropriateness & personal style...and in my hippie days I wore jeans (still do, but the style has changed)

Edited by Mame925

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Mame925 said:

Then they don't know the difference between appropriateness & personal style...and in my hippie days I wore jeans (still do, but the style has changed)

My point is, 'appropriateness' is in the eye of the beholder to a fairly large degree.

Example: a bare middle is to you, inappropriate in a school setting. To the young woman, it's personal style.

A bare belly isn't a health/safety issue. It's not lewd or indecent in terms of the law. A belly button is not considered scandalous, or a 'private part'.

The young woman mentioned earlier had COLLARBONES showing. Not even a belly button.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only difference in all of this is that the school students are overwhelmingly minors so are subject to the dress code, stupid or not. You, as an adult are free to make your own choices. I know so many women who prefer skirts/dresses to pants/shorts that has nothing to do with religious concerns. You are new in the community and toward the introvert end of the spectrum...those of us who do our own thing often have to deal with the fallout of not being a joiner                      

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Mame925 said:

The only difference in all of this is that the school students are overwhelmingly minors so are subject to the dress code, stupid or not. You, as an adult are free to make your own choices. I know so many women who prefer skirts/dresses to pants/shorts that has nothing to do with religious concerns. You are new in the community and toward the introvert end of the spectrum...those of us who do our own thing often have to deal with the fallout of not being a joiner                      

Oh heck yes. Introvert with the complication of chronic pain disability, in a small town. I was bound to be wrong about something/most things.

The joy of being over 40, and dealing w/the disability? Seriously limits the energy I have to care what others think about me, LOL

My thing w/the dress codes are simple: They're imposing an opinion on young women that is inherently tied to how other ppl feel about their bodies. I think it sends a message to young women that is unacceptable: how others feel about your body is more important than how you feel about it.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Speaking of "imposing an opinion":

https://www.aol.com/article/lifestyle/2017/06/13/woman-kicked-out-of-mall-over-finding-nemo-tank-top/22139810/

I thought this kind of attitude went out w/ the 1950s or maybe 1960s. I mean, I know there are still dress code's at work and yes, at many schools. And I realize there's such a thing as "public decency," etc. But since when is a tank top not ok while shopping at the mall?

Has this kind of thing been going on all along but just not as publicized before the advent of the Internet? Or does the Internet make it seem more prevalent than it is? Or is there just "something in the air" lately?

Or am I missing something?

ETA: Granted the mall apologized.

 

 

Edited by RoseRed135

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

That is pretty far reaching.  Is there a dress code posted at the door so people will all know what is and isn't allowed?

I decided to google our closest mall for information and low and behold I did find A Code of Conduct notice on their website.

10. Failing to be fully clothed, or wearing apparel which is likely to provoke a disturbance or embroil other groups or the general public in open conflict.

If you fail or refuse to follow this Code of Conduct you will be asked to leave the property.
 
If you fail or refuse to leave the property, you will be arrested and prosecuted for Criminal Trespass.

****************

I wonder who gets to decide?  I'm pretty sure the mall stores sell tanks and shorts intending that they be worn in public.

Edited by SueSTx
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now