• Announcements

    • LaToyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LaToyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.
RoseRed135

What if you DON'T want to babysit, raise or help raise your grandchildren?

28 posts in this topic

Oh, I feel so sorry for those who don't or didn't get to enjoy the support of grandma with a new little one.

I remember for many years, babysitting two, even three times a week (both daytime and evenings), and I stayed at both daughters homes for a few days after the birth of each child, and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When my DD had her baby, she chose not to have anyone come to help at all.  She only had a month for maternity leave and she didn't want to use a moment of it entertaining anybody except the three of them.

When my DIL had her first one, I did take off a few days and stayed at her home and made curtains for the baby's room.  After that her mother took off work, and I came home and returned to work.  When baby #2 came, Dad had a couple of weeks off work and they wanted to handle it themselves.

Whatever the parents want is usually what will work best for them.

As far as babysitting, a simple "That won't work for me" should be all it takes if not interested.  Even if the GP is interested and the parent isn't, they are allowed "Sorry, that won't work for us". 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was expecting my ODD my mother still worked.  It never occurred to me to ask her to quit her job to watch her grandaughter.  She even told me at one point 'I want to be a grandma not a babysitter.'  I totally got that.  She wanted to enjoy her grandkids and not be their full time caregiver.  She did help some with watching when DH and I went out and such but not very often.  MIL watched them too but just once in awhile.  DH & I decided that we wanted our parents to be grandparents not day care parents.  I never felt slighted or upset that DM & MIL felt that way.  Now as a grandparent I feel the same way.  I want to be a grandparent.  I don't want to raise my grandkids.  Both YDD & ODD have lived with us for several years with their children.  It's a hard thing to do.  DH & I have to be co-parents and don't just enjoy the grandkids like we'd like.  YDD & her son moved out last spring and it's been so nice being the grandma again.  Now I don't see GS as much as I'd like but when I do it's quality time.  It's not omg I'm so tired and really don't want to do it time (if you know what I mean).  ODD and GD's still live with us.  It's been over 3 years now.  Although I like seeing the girls so much it would be nice to not have to parent them like we have to do.  I love them all very much but when they're with their dad for the weekend I have to say I really enjoy the quiet.  

For me I don't think it's fair to expect your parent to want to drop everything when you have a child.  It's your child not your parent's child.  They raised theirs.  This is of course a total general you.  To each his own.  I'm sure there are lots of grandparents who want nothing more than to help raise their grandchildren.  Me, I just want to enjoy them and send them home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now