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GrandmaMisti

Exciting (terrifying?) development...

6 posts in this topic

Hello, all!

We have completed our long-awaited move, but my computer was broken in the process, so it took me a while t check back in.  I'm here, courtesy of my youngest son's generosity on letting me use his computer from time t time. (So I may be sporadic for a while longer...)

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I mentioned a while back that we are expecting a grandchild in a few months. Original due date was mid-October, but since their previous child was stillborn, this little one's birth will be induced early. I should hear abut the date in a few days.

The exciting/terrifying bit? I kept thinking about how much my DiL  was going to need her partner, my sepson, with her for this birth,  given how heartbreaking the last one was. But all of her other grandparents are too ill to step in. While I am only "Dad's wife", and it's not really my place, I asked if they had made arrangements for someone to stay with the older children while the baby is born.  As I suspected, they had not had any offers-it's a lot to take on five little boys, the oldest of whom will be just turned six. So, I offered.  I told them that if no one the boys knew better was available, that I would take the train over and stay with the children for a few days so that they can be together to welcome their long awaited daughter. In their culture, birth is very much women's business, but my DiL's mother died a bit over a year ago and as far as I know, they don't have access to a midwife from within their culture.  After a trauma like like they have had, I suspect they will want to be together - and it sounds as though they are seriously considering my offer. :D Grandma is SO excited!! :yahoo:And maybe a tad terrified, but I know that you, a least, will understand the excitement.  (My friends and relatives are reacting as though I announced that I had developed some dread and possibly contagious mental defect...)  :sorry: 

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I glad the move is finally over and I hope all goes well with this birth.  If your offer is taken, I know you will enjoy the boys during your stay.

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Posted (edited)

Hi again, Misti! Glad the move is behind you, but so sorry about your computer! How good of YDS to give you some access to his computer! Totally understand that your presence here might be sporadic for a while.

I remember your telling us about the coming new grandbaby. Congrats again! But I don't think you told us about the stillbirth - how sad!

6 children, 1 unfortunate stillbirth  - and they still went on to have another child? Wow! If nothing else, they are very brave! Then again, I see that this baby is a "long awaited daughter." So perhaps they are just very determined?

 You're certainly brave, IMO. - offering to help out w/ 6 kids (and perhaps the new baby, also?)! And kudos for offering w/o being pushy! Apparently, your "friends and relatives" are astounded, but, IMO, it's very generous and loving of you! And oh yeah, "exciting/terrifying!" :db::give_rose::clapping:

But you say "their culture" a couple of times. I'm not sure if "they" refers to DIL and her FOO (family of origin) or to DS and DIL both. IOWs, IDK if DIL is from a different culture than you and yours or if you're from a different culture than DH and his AC. No matter - you don't have to tell us - I don't mean to be nosy. I'm just mentioning it b/c there might be some cultural differences in how you and DIL/DS raise/take care of children. If so, you might want to familiarize yourself w/ some of their childrearing practices before you go there. Better yet, just be prepared to respect their wishes (I'm sure you will) and follow their lead.

Hope DIL is enjoying an easy pregnancy and that she gives birth to a happy, healthy baby!

Looking forward to hearing from you again, whenever possible! :)

Edited by RoseRed135

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Nice to see you back Misti....and I totally get why you are doing what you're doing....I'd probably do the same thing. xDIl's mom & I watched the older kids each time while the new one was on the way. It's what grandma's do...Last year xDil remarried...I made her veil as well as attended the wedding and stayed with the kids while they were on their honeymoon....and she recently shared she and the new DH are expecting a new one around Christmas. So I offered to mind the 3 olders while she's in hospital (along with her mom) as the kids need familiar and safe people with them in the transition. Her deliveries are by scheduled c/section so the kids wake up to grandma...they'll all go to school then we'll all go meet the new baby later in the day. Do whatever you think is in the best interest of the children....I'm right there with you.

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On 7/13/2017 at 10:51 PM, RoseRed135 said:

But you say "their culture" a couple of times. I'm not sure if "they" refers to DIL and her FOO (family of origin) or to DS and DIL both. IOWs, IDK if DIL is from a different culture than you and yours or if you're from a different culture than DH and his AC. No matter - you don't have to tell us - I don't mean to be nosy. I'm just mentioning it b/c there might be some cultural differences in how you and DIL/DS raise/take care of children. If so, you might want to familiarize yourself w/ some of their childrearing practices before you go there. Better yet, just be prepared to respect their wishes (I'm sure you will) and follow their lead.

Thanks for the well-wishes, everyone!

I am an immigrant, and my step-son and daughter-in-law are aboriginal Australians, so there is a double-remove between our cultures - added to which, I am high functioning autistic so pretty much all culture bemuses me. :P 

I am going into this aware that I have a lot to learn. I will be going a couple of days early to learn the ropes. That won't be long enough to get all the nuances down, but it should be enough for the kids and me to learn the ropes together. The AC are aware of the cultural differences and I intend  do my very best to do it all their way, so while I won' get it perfectly, they seem pretty easy going and they know (because I tell them often) that I think they are doing a fabulous job - they have the happiest, most respectful kids - so  I think it will be OK. And the older boys will, I'm sure, be more than willing to teach me. :P Six year olds love to teach adults. ;)

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Oh what a fun time you will have with the GC! Just do whatever the parents ask.  

Anonymous poster hash: e4647...4ab

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