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RoseRed135

Common pitfalls & conflicts for new GPs/GP2Bs to avoid

29 posts in this topic

On Monday, September 11, 2017 at 3:39 AM, RoseRed135 said:

But no matter what seems "normal" to whom, in the end, IMO, GPs (and other relatives) need to understand that it's the expectant parents who get to decide who can be at the birth of their child, if anyone.

Just go with the flow ..

Yes, if the "flow" is based on the parents' wishes. No, if it's based on some other (pushy) relatives insisting on, say, being in the waiting room, getting text updates from the dad, etc. (Hopefully, not too many people are like that, but, no doubt, there are a few.)

Then again, people, what if the parents want you (general) in, say, L&D and you don't want to be there? Is it ok to decline? Or should parental wishes win out here, too?

 

Yes, it's ok to decline a demand affecting yourself. 

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You can decline....I declined my DD's request, but when her labor accelerated unexpectedly, she & SIL both asked me to stay, she was too panicked to argue with...everyone else was cleared out. There were no complaints. DS' then fiancee was with us (he was at sea, she came to pace for him) and acted as the messenger. When DH complained she was too slow in relaying the info, came back into the room laughing about it, so DD asked her to stay....leaving the WRW (waiting room warriors) to stew.

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I just flat out asked my son what kind of grandparents he would like us to be :search:  and he let us know.  We are trying to fulfill that role . Other than that we have tried to go with the flow and what they need..   I don't offer advice unless they ask . I can't say what I expected really, because  this is all new to me, which is why sometimes it can be hurtful or confusing. I did expect  to get photo's and  be  able to see granddaughter now and again (currently on skype only).  SOme of the disappointments I try to use a place like this to vent and nip it in the bud, or talk to other friends who can give me an honest but loving opinion. 

I do agree with many others that there are mismatched expectations and it's good to try and explore those with your family. 

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On 11/7/2017 at 2:40 PM, pearlj said:

I just flat out asked my son what kind of grandparents he would like us to be :search:  and he let us know.  We are trying to fulfill that role . Other than that we have tried to go with the flow and what they need..   I don't offer advice unless they ask . I can't say what I expected really, because  this is all new to me, which is why sometimes it can be hurtful or confusing. I did expect  to get photo's and  be  able to see granddaughter now and again (currently on skype only).  SOme of the disappointments I try to use a place like this to vent and nip it in the bud, or talk to other friends who can give me an honest but loving opinion. 

I do agree with many others that there are mismatched expectations and it's good to try and explore those with your family. 

Thanks for sharing the ins and outs of your experience w/ us, Pearl! Sorry about the "hurtful" and "confusing" parts! Hopefully, those will get fewer w/ time.

Glad you appreciate being able to vent here and talk w/ us!... Peace...

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