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RoseRed135

Do you feel your grandkids' parents take advantage of you?

30 posts in this topic

6 minutes ago, RoseRed135 said:

Thanks (she says, blushing)! But IDK about "insight." Just exploring possibilities. :)

LOL! You have such a great knack for prying-open topics such as these and really bringing to light the true meat and potatoes of them. :) 

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Just now, BalloonPants said:

And that's just it, there's a fine-balance of sorts that needs to happen to appease the needs of both parties involved, and I do believe for most, a happy balance does exist.

But, no doubt, it's harder for some parents & GPs, etc. to find it. I guess, like anything else, it can be a matter of perspective. For example, the mom/dad might be thinking, "Phew! I worked hard all day! I deserve to go for a few drinks w/ my co-workers/do some food shopping sans baby!" But meanwhile, maybe the GP is thinking, "Whew! I've been taking care of baby all day! Love him/her to pieces, but I'm tired! I need some time to myself! Where's Mom/Dad?"  And that's where there often is a problem, IMO. :(

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1 minute ago, RoseRed135 said:

But, no doubt, it's harder for some parents & GPs, etc. to find it. I guess, like anything else, it can be a matter of perspective. For example, the mom/dad might be thinking, "Phew! I worked hard all day! I deserve to go for a few drinks w/ my co-workers/do some food shopping sans baby!" But meanwhile, maybe the GP is thinking, "Whew! I've been taking care of baby all day! Love him/her to pieces, but I'm tired! I need some time to myself! Where's Mom/Dad?"  And that's where there often is a problem, IMO. :(

I've been there before, RR.

I've always been the type to go over and above (and beyond) the call of duty when it relates to helping others, and at times not only has my health and happiness suffered, but the happiness of those around me has suffered, too.

For instance, when the first set of grands started making their debut, grandma was there like a mom, and I recall one evening, DH saying to me as I was on my way out the door, "sure would be nice if we could have an evening together one of these nights", and it crushed me. Until he mentioned it, I hadn't realized just how frequently I was running (to and from) my oldest DD's place helping with the little ones, but in DH saying what he did, it caused me to reflect and reassess my obligation to his needs.

Long story short, I remember laying my purse back down on the hall table, kicking-off my shoes, calling DD to advise, and settling-in for the night with DH.

Moral of the story, giving is great, but there does come a time where one needs to concentrate their efforts and keep the home-fires burning.

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15 minutes ago, BalloonPants said:

.Moral of the story, giving is great, but there does come a time where one needs to concentrate their efforts and keep the home-fires burning.

So true!

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I have never felt taken advantage of by my adult kids except maybe in the first year and half or so of first granddaughters life when DD loved to bring her family to my house every Sunday for lunch.  I was working full time also and would have loved to sit around in my PJs a time or two and read on a Sunday morning instead of cooking a big meal again.  Hubby loved it.

Now, she is a teen and I am retired, and I often wish they'd come at least one Sunday afternoon per month.  We so loved having them both here on Thanksgiving and on the Saturday before to share lunch with us.  Now the kids are back to the winter/spring grind.

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