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Mame925

Cell Phone Addiction

22 posts in this topic

In another thread @Layla posted " People are oblivious and addicted to mobile phones - irritating but something we all need to accept of the younger generation. "

I disagree and I disagree on so many levels. I see constant cellphone usage as an excuse to not engage. At some events at my home I've requested "tech free"...aimed at 3 grandsons with their phones/tablets and one SIL who at 48 should know better. If the DIL in the other thread didn't come to the table because she was on her phone, we'd eat without her. If she had her phone out at the table she'd be asked to put it away. 

If you come to my house then sit and play on your phone, don't come to my house. I'll be less offended if you just don't come. 

My students are not allowed to have their phones out during class, that includes classes in the library...lunch break nobody cares, but during class time don't bring it out. And I have no problem calling them out on it. 

My DDs/DIL/Sis and I have group texts going frequently. My phone might ping like mad as the conversation builds, but if I'm involved in something I won't check the texts immediately.

I was in Target yesterday and can't count the people having loud conversations on their phones while shopping...

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I was at Target yesterday also, a woman was having it out with her cellphone carrier- I understood every word she said and supported everything she said- She was already on with the 5th rep, same call, terribly frustrating- I get it- However, Target seems to be the place for venting frustrations, aggressive shoppers, general impatience- Never had an issue with an employee there- But the shoppers/customers can be downright hostile-

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Several years ago when my Mother was in the hospital, she would have a puzzle book in hand, I'd be reading a paper back, my youngest sister, BIL and niece were all on their phones apparently sometimes texting each other.

 I put my book away when they came into the room.  BIL got onto mother about putting her puzzle down.  She was trying to think of a "nice" way to say there was no difference than them being on the phone.  I let things be until my niece also got onto mother about not visiting while she had company all the while clicking away on her phone.  When sister joined in, I simply said, "if mother has to put her puzzle down...y'all have to put your phones away."  They had a funny look on their faces and all stuck their phones in their pockets.  After that if it rang, they would answer because if was another sibling asking for a report.

I think some people are so accustomed to using their phones all day that they don't even realize how rude they are being to those they profess to love.

AND NO, I don't think we as a parent of a minor has to accept it...but, we do have to set a good example for them.  if it involves adults, that is a different situation and we have to consider whether or not it is a hill for us to die on.  Sometimes a person is "on call" and has to be available even on a holiday so a blanket "no phones" might not be doable.

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My DsD is a foster care first responder. If she is on call she doesn't come to my house at all as it is out of her required range, but I get your point...and those are not the people I'm talking about, including "other siblings needed a report" while your mom was hospitalized....checking to see who it is in that situation is perfectly acceptable, nose in phone while insisting grandma put her puzzle down is a serious double standard...I think you handled it well.

I had dinner with a high school friend last night...we see each other every few months to stay up on things. And he's someone whose intellectual company I really enjoy. The only times we each had phones out was updates on GK pix and updates on the World Series game score (we were both cheering for Houston).

As for Target, Target is just where I happened to be, no reflection on the store, it's employees or the customers as customers....it's the absurdly self centered people who abuse the boundaries of polite society. No one is interested in your loud personal one-way conversations...even better are those who use speaker phone features in public...apparently they've become too lazy to hold the phone to their ear.

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I understand if people are on their cell phones in Target - or any store - if it's to discuss w/ their spouse/SO or a roommate, etc. whether or not to buy this/that item. That's one of the benefits of cell phones, IMO. But I shouldn't have to hear the details of their conversation.

If they're talking about something else, well, I just think it's the "wrong time and place." But as long as they're not loud and I can hear myself think, I'm ok.

Really, I shouldn't even know what they're talking about. But that's not necessarily possible, I understand, if they're in the same aisle. And, of course, if they're loud, forget it!

During visits, I understand if someone is on call, as Sue says. Or if they keep their phone open for a (hopefully brief) call from an AC, etc. about something important. But I agree, if you (general) are visiting w/ people, it's not the time to be socializing w/ others who aren't at the visit or checking your FB messages, etc.

Sometimes, though, I find it's part of a group understanding. In the summer at my pool club, for example, there usually comes a point w/ my friends, where everybody picks up their book, newspaper, crossword puzzle or iPad, etc.and does there own thing. Everyone seems to be ok w/ it, and so am I. But if one person is sitting there surfing the "Net while everyone else is conversing, that seems a little rude to me.

@SueSTx - Can't get over that your sister and family thought it was ok to bug your mom about her puzzle while they were using their cell phones! And mom was the patient to boot! Like Mame, I think you handled it well.

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23 hours ago, Mame925 said:

In another thread @Layla posted " People are oblivious and addicted to mobile phones - irritating but something we all need to accept of the younger generation. "

Our kids are mostly self-employed, if they wanna eat and pay bills they use their phones whenever business calls them (except Church). 

My husband has a rule: our grands, with phones, may not have phones on in our home. He buys their phones and pays their bills from his budget, works for everybody. He's fairly old fashioned, generally only watches sports and news on TV, thinks people should be active and outside vs using a screen.

eta: I'm not a phone person, don't know where mine is 90% of the time. We have a 3rd phone, in our bedroom, only ODD has the number - just for her and us. The distance from our room to her side of this house - technology and privacy at it's best use.  :good:

Edited by JanelleK

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1 hour ago, JanelleK said:

Our kids are mostly self-employed, if they wanna eat and pay bills they use their phones whenever business call them (except Church). 

^^^ This is the purpose of cell phones. DDs/DIL are all in on-call situations. None of the 3 are phone abusers in general. SIL can be...if the TV isn't on he's checking scores and can be guilty of zoning out. He's working on it...which I really appreciate.

 

7 hours ago, RoseRed135 said:

I understand if people are on their cell phones in Target - or any store - if it's to discuss w/ their spouse/SO or a roommate, etc. whether or not to buy this/that item.

^^^As is this....

And Sue's example of her sibs needing an update...

 

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I love my cell phone and use it as a calendar, read the news, do puzzles, photography, skype, text,  food /exercise tracker, whatapp (to keep in touch with overseas relatives), instagram, fb, gps, and as a phone, BUT when in company or at the check out, the docs or driving it goes into silent mode until I have time to answer it.   

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34 minutes ago, pearlj said:

I love my cell phone and use it as a calendar, read the news, do puzzles, photography, skype, text,  food /exercise tracker, whatapp (to keep in touch with overseas relatives), instagram, fb, gps, and as a phone, BUT when in company or at the check out, the docs or driving it goes into silent mode until I have time to answer it.   

That's what it's for....and that's how to use it...

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Another significant use, IMO, is that of extreme situations. I'll never forget how many people, buried under debris, etc., after 9/11 were able to be located b/c they contacted someone via cell phone.

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I have friends that are glued to their cell phones. It's annoying. Either you're here to visit, and put your phone down, or don't visit. I think interrupting someone you're talking to, to answer someone else's text, is plain rude (and it's not a kid/dh, an emergency, or work related) when it's an ongoing (every few minutes) issue.

Wolf and I carry cells when we're out together, b/c invariably, Diva will call about an item for our grocery list, or one of the Minions wants to get ahold of us...or, we've wandered off in different directions, and it's just easier to shoot a text than try and find each other by checking the aisles.

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Hubby is handicapped and he sits on a bench near the checkout lines.  He will call me to add something to my list that he needs and I will go by where he is sitting and see if my item is what he is wanting.  Sometimes the calls to pertain to the shopping also.

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Sue, my DH does this also sometimes he doesn't even make it out of the car, he may just sit and read the newspaper.

DD had 2 phones for her previous job, she was always on call. One phone was for staff to reach her, the other for clients, then of course she had her personal phone. She drove me crazy it seemed as though one was always ringing or should i say toning.

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I didn’t get a phone until 2 years ago. My daughter forced me to get it.

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6 hours ago, Laura62 said:

I didn’t get a phone until 2 years ago. My daughter forced me to get it.

LOL! My DDs had cell phones before I did, also. (Funny how the younger people sometimes have things before us older ones. ;) ) Now I can barely imagine leaving home w/o it! :)

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We bought a bag phone in the 90's when the kids were driving into town to high school.  We did not have phones ourselves.  We both have phones now, but no internet service (phone only).  I often forget mine at home, but I do have onstar.

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I use mine, just not allot- I love getting pics of the kids via text- The camera on the new one isn't nearly as good as the old one which was 3G- I got a 4G to use apps but as it turns out, correct me if I'm wrong, in order to get apps you have to go through GooglePlay- And in order get apps from GooglePlay you have to give GooglePlay your credit card number simply to sign up -- and download apps that I want, that cost nothing- Which totally put the kabash on my reasons for wanting a new phone- 

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On 12/1/2017 at 5:09 AM, Komorebi said:

I use mine, just not allot- I love getting pics of the kids via text- The camera on the new one isn't nearly as good as the old one which was 3G- I got a 4G to use apps but as it turns out, correct me if I'm wrong, in order to get apps you have to go through GooglePlay- And in order get apps from GooglePlay you have to give GooglePlay your credit card number simply to sign up -- and download apps that I want, that cost nothing- Which totally put the kabash on my reasons for wanting a new phone- 

You do not have to have a credit card for free apps. It will ask but you can skip that and move on and download it anyway. That's what I do.

Anonymous poster hash: 0d7e3...b44

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We have always had the rule of no phones at the table. ODD got a smart phone last year. DH and I got one this year. We waited as long as we could. Our problem is that we "needed" it as DH has a severe hearing disability so the texting apps on it makes it so easy for us to communicate vs not being able to use voice at all to talk to each other. So while we have a no phones at the table rule, when we eat out, DH brings out his phone and uses it every time. One day ODD asked me about it and we discussed it. We decided it was better to have DH have something to do than get frustrated with trying to participate in a conversation where we all end up frustrated and angry. The music is usually so loud, fans, fryers, many conversations going on at once, etc...totally not worth the fight so when we eat out kids and I keep the no phone rule while DH gets a free pass. At home sometimes we remind each other, phone/computer away please. It works for us. I will also add we can be in the same room and if the conversation involves DH we often will text each other as sometimes that is just easier than getting frustrated having to repeat ourselves ten times. I think with this type of reason though, most folks would know and understand the reason. I will also add IF we ever do go back to dealing with IL's they will be in for a major shock and probably get angry when he does bring out his cell phone when others are having a conversation thinking he's being rude. He's not. He's just not following the conversation and it is better to be on his phone than left out of the conversation. For a long time, he would get frustrated about people we know leaving messages on his phone knowing of his hearing issues. Now he finally put "I'm deaf, text me" as part  of the vm message and does NOT feel guilty if they don't leave a text. Not his problem.

Anonymous poster hash: 0d7e3...b44

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My 68-year-old MIL is the worst offender when it comes to her cell phone. She does not go anywhere and that includes the dinner table without her cell phone. My younger sisters who are in their 20's aren't as bad as she is. DH has mentioned to her that its annoying when she is contently checking her phone when we are visiting especially since it's a 12 hour drive plus 1 hour on the ferry to visit them. She complains that they don't see us enough but when we are there she will stop in the middle of a conversation because her cell phone has gone off. 

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Yes, I think there is such a thing as too much phone and yes it is an addiction. My pet peeve with phones in general is the call waiting. You called me and want to put me on hold, NO! Or if I called you and it is long distance, for example, my mom will say oh your sister is on the other line and then takes the call. Ummm, you see her every day! She can wait ten minutes. I just hang up. I won't sit on hold for a family call especially when it is someone you talk to or see every day.

ETA It is up to the parents to set the example and rules for the kids use of phones. It is also up to the parents to enforce those rules.

Edited by Cupcake55

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10 hours ago, INCOGNITO said:

You do not have to have a credit card for free apps. It will ask but you can skip that and move on and download it anyway. That's what I do.

Anonymous poster hash: 0d7e3...b44

Thanks, I guess I will make another attempt -- good to know!

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