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RoseRed135

Are your GC's parents "too strict?" Or "too permissive?"

11 posts in this topic

The GP.com FB page is featuring the following article about GPs who think their AC/CIL are "too permissive" (my words):

https://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/family-matters/permissive-parenting

Then again, there are GPs who have come in here and complained that their AC/CIL were "too easy" on the GC. And parents who gripe that the GPs are too lenient w/ their kids and bend/break parental rules, etc.

So now I'm wondering... If you're a GP, have you ever thought your AC/CIL were too strict/too permissive?

Or as the parent of underage kids, do/did you ever think either of these about their GPs?

Or hey, have you ever felt that the parents/GPs of any other relative kids were too strict or too lenient?

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Too inconsistent...

And I hate when it's "wait til your Dad gets home."  

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5 hours ago, SueSTx said:

Too inconsistent...

And I hate when it's "wait til your Dad gets home."  

My dad was a fireman, with all the crazy shift work that entails...it was a great way to grow up (he was often home when we got home from school), but at discipline time, my mom could hold her own...if there was particular stubbornness happening her go-to line was "do we need to call your father" if he was working....uh, no, that's ok, I'll just die now....he was very fair and very firm...yes meant yes & no meant no, however, they always put out a united front....

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My parents were very consistent as was I.  Dad worked shift work and some weeks we didn't even see him.  He got up after we left for school and left for work before we got home from school.  There was no waiting for "your father".  Hubby farmed so it was daylight to dark most of the year, but he was usually here when school was out during the winter and took the kids to school every morning because I was already at work.

Consistency is the key in my opinion.

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I must say for all the issues that my DIL has she has been very consistent and it is one of the many things I admire in her.

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My daughter is way too permissive with my granddaughter. Last year she started working abroad but didn’t want to move my granddaughter with her overseas so she moved in with me. It took some work to get her to follow my rules

Edited by Laura62

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4 hours ago, Laura62 said:

My daughter is way too permissive with my granddaughter. Last year she started working abroad but didn’t want to move my granddaughter with her overseas so she moved in with me. It took some work to get her to follow my rules

Wow! You took a preteen in to live w/ you! Did you realize beforehand that your DD (dear daughter) is more permissive than you? Either way, you were very brave, IMO! And, of course, very kind and loving to be there for your DD and GD this way! :clapping:

Just out of curiosity, is GD still living w/ you or has her mom come home?

 

Edited by RoseRed135

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My mom was the enforcer in our home. When a spanking was due, she administered.

My sister was another that was super-strict with her DK's. I witnessed a few spankings at her house and whoa, she was just like my mom in that regard. Too strict IMO.

Also have relatives/family where discipline/punishment was non-existent... to the point where I wanted to intervene at times and hand-down a bottom-warming, and when I babysat, I did.

Also remember babysitting for this one mom with two boys (baby and toddler at the time), and sheesh, she was total old-school in the discipline dept. She beat both kids butts regularly.  

There needs to be balance (for sure).

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3 hours ago, RoseRed135 said:

Wow! You took a preteen in to live w/ you! Did you realize beforehand that your DD (dear daughter) is more permissive than you? Either way, you were very brave, IMO! And, of course, very kind and loving to be there for your DD and GD this way! :clapping:

Just out of curiosity, is GD still living w/ you or has her mom come home?

 

I did know it before hand just not the actual extent. And thank you! She’s still living with me, my daughter usually comes back for 2 weeks twice a year then she goes back with her.

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Just now, Laura62 said:

I did know it before hand just not the actual extent. And thank you! She’s still living with me, my daughter usually comes back for 2 weeks twice a year then she goes back with her.

Thanks for answering my question, Laura!

Good, IMO, that GD gets to spend some time w/ her mom - and that you get a break, LOL! But I'm wondering, is the transition back & forth difficult for any of you?

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On 12/23/2017 at 6:45 PM, RoseRed135 said:

Thanks for answering my question, Laura!

Good, IMO, that GD gets to spend some time w/ her mom - and that you get a break, LOL! But I'm wondering, is the transition back & forth difficult for any of you?

Not really, she usually returns during the summer. My granddaughter is just happy she doesn’t have to move schools.

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