• Announcements

    • LatoyaADMIN

      What to do if you get a "Wrong Password" message   01/21/16

      You must reset your password (even if you know it's the right one) before you can sign into the community. Thanks to the upgrade, there's an issue with passwords and signing in. The good news is that you can click here: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/lostpassword/ to change your password (it'll let you reuse your old one). If you can't reach the email address connected to your account then please contact the admin at latoya@grandparents.com and I'll help you sort it out. 
    • LatoyaADMIN

      Anonymous posting is back   01/21/16

      We've removed the extra step that required you to go to the full-page editor to access the anonymous post option. Now, you can reply to a post and toggle the button to post anonymous (see photo below).    Read more on anonymous posting here:    In short, the mods can see who posts as anonymous, we moderate anonymous posts the same as revealed posts, you can reply anonymously to your own topic, you may report anonymous posts.
RoseRed135

'You'll never see your grandchildren again!" - Are those words spoken too easily?

7 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Lately, I hear more and more often, both IRL (in real life) and on the Internet, about GPs who were CO (cut off) from an AC (adult child) and family after a single argument/disagreement. For example, in the thread, "The 'Gossip' Line- Where is it drawn?" in MILA, I mentioned that my friend's DIL declared, "You'll never see your grandchildren again!" in the heat of an argument.

When asked, the GPs often insist there were no "prior tensions."  Are they just not seeing - or admitting - the pre-existing issues? (In my friend's case, there had been disagreements before but I don't think she saw a CO coming.) Or has the CO, as a solution, become "too popular"/something many parents are "too quick" to jump to when angry at GPs or other relatives? Is it just becoming "too easy" to say, "You'll never see these kids again!" when you (general parent of minor children) are angry?

 

 

Edited by RoseRed135

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never thought I would hear this from my children. I always thought they would find a way to work things out, not threaten with something like this. It was heartbreaking to hear. It has been a long time since this has happened and things are great with my children now, but every time I read about it here it brings a little ping to my heart. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@homeygfunk - So sorry, homey! Didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's used as a 'trump card' to gain what they wish by manipulation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, RoseRed135 said:

@homeygfunk - So sorry, homey! Didn't mean to hurt anyone.

My daughter said it in the middle of an argument that had nothing to do with the grands. It was such a shock because I thought she was above that. We are fine now but it was a big heartbreaking moment at the time.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

39 minutes ago, homeygfunk said:

My daughter said it in the middle of an argument that had nothing to do with the grands. It was such a shock because I thought she was above that. We are fine now but it was a big heartbreaking moment at the time.  

Sigh...

Glad all is ok now though.

Edited by RoseRed135

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ive come to the conclusion after reading so many similar stories that no matter what the circumstances are that lead to a cut off its simply a decision that a grandparent has to learn to live with, and the sooner the better- Its very highly unlikely that a cut off is always due to something that the grandparent said or did or both and not ever be due to a parents poor decision making skills, mental illness, what have you- End result, no matter what took place a decison was made by a parent who has every right to make it -- even if not in their right mind when they made it-

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now