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RoseRed135

The 5 Love Languages of Children, Part 5 - Acts of Service

1 post in this topic

More on The 5 Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell...

Just as w/ adults, another one of the LLs the book explores in relation to kids is Acts of Service. For some kids, the authors explain, what we do for them says love the "loudest." And, in a way, that's good, IMO. These are kids who innately appreciate our efforts on our behalf - the meals we cook, the care we give them, etc., more than the gifts we give them, and so on. They have an inborn sense, apparently, that "actions speak louder than words."

But as the authors, themselves, say, there's a point where every child, regardless of LL, has to learn to do this/that for themselves. Some of it comes almost naturally for most children, like learning to feed themselves. Other things adults might have to promote, such as learning to cook or do laundry. They talk about knowing when you really need to do a service for a child and when the best "service" you can do for them is teach them to do it on their own.

ITA. But what if the child whose primary LL is AOS? Is he/she more likely to resist becoming more independent? The authors talk a lot about kids feeling "unloved" if you don't "speak their love language." So how do you (general) make the transition w/o their feeling a loss of love? How do you get them to understand that teaching them to be independent is another AOS - perhaps the ultimate one? Or do you just have to do it and not worry about it? The chapter on AOS is good, IMO, but the authors don't really cover this( possible) problem.

Thoughts? Experiences? Observations?

Edited by RoseRed135

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