missing my grand daughters
Posted 23 April 2012 - 01:52 PM
Posted 28 April 2012 - 11:14 PM
Posted 07 July 2012 - 02:33 PM
Posted 07 July 2012 - 02:51 PM
Posted 07 July 2012 - 03:00 PM
Posted 04 November 2012 - 03:32 PM
I used to actually go over to my son's house at his request to vacumm the house and change the diaper pailn which she had no clue as to what to do!!
And was there a reason why your son had the ability to call his mother but did not have the ability to change the diaper pail in his own house?
Posted 08 November 2012 - 01:04 PM
I feel for you, I do - but further details would help us understand fully and offer advice.
Posted 10 November 2012 - 11:11 AM
In fact, I know some states tend to be more likely to grant visitation to GPs who have been deeply involved in the care of their GC, but yours, I imagine, is not one of them. Or, for whatever reason, the judge decided that you didn't have a strong enough case to warrant a visitation order. Either way, again, I feel for you.
I agree with PPs (previous posters), though, that "further details" would be helpful. Since your post was written a while ago, IDK if you're still reading or not. But if you are, I hope none of the questions are irritating for you and that you don't mind answering some or all of them. You certainly don't have to and I understand if it's too painful for you. But if you do, I think it really would help us to help you.
In fact, I'm also wondering if you can tell us why the case was "dismissed?" Was it for lack of evidence (in the judge's view)? Or b/c you didn't meet certain criteria (for example, some states require that the GP can show that the GC lived in their home 6 months or more, etc.)? Or was the court persuaded by arguments given by the parents? As PPs have indicated, if 2 parents in an intact marriage agree that a GP shouldn't see their children, that bears a lot of weight with the courts.
Regardless, I'm thinking your DIL may be embarrassed now that she depended on you so much when the kids were younger. Also, she may feel she didn't form enough of a bond with them, as a result, or truly establish herself as their mother/parent. Chances are, at some point, she decided to step up and then began to see you as a threat to her new efforts to bond with her kids and be their mom. I'm not saying that you, necessarily, were a "threat," just that she may have seen you that way. IDK, of course. I'm just feeling around for posibilities.
I'm also thinking that your DS' (dear son's) turning to you for help may have reflected a crack in their marriage, at the time, that has since been healed or is in the process of healing. That change, while fortunate for them, may have also led to their needing you less and even pushing you away. Again, clearly, I can't know; I'm just looking at possibilitiies.
Nor am I saying that any of that is "right." Just trying to help you understand, if need be, how this could have occurred. I know that won't make you miss your GDs any less. But, sometimes, I know it can be somewhat comforting to see that there's a reason why this happened, instead of it's all being a mystery. And sometimes, when one sees what caused the problem, one can begin to fix it. That's harder, I realize, if one has already taken the parents to court. But, IMO, in some cases, it's still possible.
But again, it has been a while since you wrote this. Any updates? Has anything changed? Be that as it may, I hope, eventually, you regain access to your GC and that your heart will not be "forever broken," after all... Peace...
@ Gina - My heart goes out to you, as well.... Peace...
P.S. This is usually a very supportive group so I was a little suprised to see the very harsh comment by hotmammapv. I'm sorry if you ladies found it hurtful. Although, I'm a GP.com moderator and have the designation of "Moderator" over my name, I'm not the mod who created and usually runs this group. And besides, that comment, also, was posted some time ago. So I'm not going to touch it. But I understand if it hurt you and I'm very sorry about that.
Posted 13 November 2012 - 02:24 AM
Posted 17 November 2012 - 11:48 PM
rose, i don't think i can add much to what you said, except that i, too, am certainly very sorry for those of you who have lost their grandchildren. there are probably as many reasons for this happening to grandparents, many of them loving, caring ones, as there are families who are trying to deal with it. in the end, tho, for the most part the grandparent stepped on someone's toes somehow, or are a little unhinged themselves and jealous of the relationship their parent or in-law has with those gks. i'm sad for all of you who are dealing or have dealt with this issue. my suggestion, if it hasn't already been turned down by a court would be to find a local family law practicioner for a first time visit to get their take on how likely your state's judge might rule, depending on existing laws.
i think that this all bears out that most newbies (especially) aren't posting to receive a hateful answer - they are looking for answers and SUPPORT.
Posted 18 November 2012 - 10:10 PM
Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:52 AM
Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:59 AM
Meanwhile, I understand what homeygfunk means when she says that "things are not very clear when it comes to visitation." And I don't want to put hotmammapv on the spot (though she seems to have been inactive, for a while). But I realize that in the Inappropriate Posts thread CA said she deleted a post that criticized a GP for taking parents to court over visitation and that this group was not the place for that kind of negative comment. And I notice that CA's comments were posted the same day as hotmammapv's. So I'm now thinking that may actually be the post CA deleted and it may have reappeared in the course of the relaunch. I've seen other items on the site, now and then, that I'm sure were deleted in the past so it could be. After all, it doesn't make much sense that she would have deleted one such post and left another, unless she just didn't happen to see it. I suppose we can't really know, unless she comes in and says something about it. And I don't think it takes anything away from homey's statement. Perhaps, it doesn't even matter at this point... FWIW...