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CTgrammaof4

Yup, here we go again.....

3 posts in this topic

Today, is a little more sensative than most. The granddaughter that is graduating and we didn't even get included in the list of "sorry, you are not invited" But we get to read the postings on her facebook page about those who have done so much for her. Yup, you guessed it, we aren't on that list or page either. I remember the days when they were still together and we were there everyday helping out doing for the kids. Never once have we not been there, when ever needed. Never once, even now. Even after they were apart, we were there. The many times we planned things for the grandkids and were told at the last minute it couldn't happen, they couldn't go. Upset, yeah, sometime to tears but we move on never holding a grudge or bad feeling and never expressing a bad word about the maternal side regardless of how we felt, knowing it would affect the kids. When do we stop paying for the divorce? When do they begin to realize what they are doing only hurts the kids in the long run? When do the grandkids begin to understand or realize what they have been taught is not right about the family of the other side who truly just want to love their grands, nurture them and spend time with them. Its okay when they need financial assistance or when someone can't handle or control the child. But when it comes to all that is good, we are not included. Problem now is I don't know how long I can continue the game of being good, keeping my mouth shut and telling the children that mom has her reasons and you have to respect them. All I want to really do is scream! Sad too that this is my adopted granddaugther.....we tried and worked so much harder with her because we didn't want her to feel like an outsider and they worked harder to make her think she was an outsider with us. Even on her 16th I planned a trip for her and I to go to NYC. Ahhhh, Manhattan, what a place to shop! She has never been to the city or the stores, boutiques and salons there. But, we didn't even get an I am not coming for the weekend from her as usual. We waited, the message was deliverd by another sibling. So cancel the salon appointment, and put the money back in the bank......wait for the next time.....she doesn't even know it was planned, I didn't want her to feel bad, even though I did. It was one of plans that brought me to tears, once again. Okay, time for me to get off my soap box and back to my knees to pray that one day she will want to be with us willingly, on her own, out of love for us alone....

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Well, i'm not sure exactly who you are because there's no name attached - never had that happen. i truly think that the wires got crossed somewhere because, though your problem is one that wrenches my heart, it isn't our normal topic in this room. i hope that you will find some peace - from above and from here, on earth, and i wish i had an answer for you. i personally feel that between 16 to graduation,is a perfect time to tell your granddaughter the truth about things like the gift you had planned for her birthday. NYC? i would love it all, too, and it was a wonderful gift for her (and you, with her)! i don't know if you'll see this reply, but if you do, know that my heart and good wishes are with you. i hope you work it out somehow. divorce is an awful thing for ALL the generations involved.

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I am so so sorry about your situation. I cannot even imagine how you must feel. I hear your pain and I know of this happened to me i would be devastated especially since i am so close to my Granddaughter and she is only 4. so I really do not know the future since my daughter and granddaughter lives here. yes, there are times my daughter says Grandma and Grandpa do not want to be with you which is for us to say we are doing something else . Keep up the prayers-I am sure when your Grandkids get older they will know the lies that were instilled in them. I am not sure of the whole story although I truly feel for what you must be going through.

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