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rosered135

The Caregiver's Thanksgiving

36 posts in this topic

Will you be having Tgiving with the GC (or other relative kids) that you take care of this year? Are you cooking? And if you're raising those kids, will their parents be present?

Please answer any or all of my questions below. Your reply can be long or short and please feel free to add any other thoughts on the topic!

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We are still going to my mother's house for Thanksgiving. She is 81 and still going strong. She is going to get married Sat. after Thanksgiving. I think that is great!! She has a lot of energy. My dad has been dead four years. She will have someone to keep her company. All of us will help her this year with all the food if she is willing. We usually help some. This Thanksgiving may be dramatic since my daughter hasn't paid child support yet and the money is due to go to the state today.(Not that we will say anything about it to her.) She is still planning on gettng custody of her kids but I haven't gotten any paperwork saying we have to go to court yet. So we have a wedding, unpaid child support, and custody issues. My two brothers and their family, my family including the mother of my GD and my other daughter including my GDs and sister is going to my mother's house and my mother's fiance will be there that we have not even met. Then the wedding on Saturday after. This is a lot of drama. We usually don't have drama in our family. So this Thanksgiving holiday will be interesting.

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It certainly will, Cobalt! How wonderful that your mom is getting married again! And hey, how great it is that she's still healthy and energetic enough to host Tgiving (even though I know you and other relatives are helping out) - and to get married a few days after! :give_rose:

I hope you and DD are both able to put aside the current issues between you for Thanksgiving and the wedding. Easier-said-than-done, I know. Clearly, it's normal for your mom to invite both of you but I wish you all the strength and courage you need to deal with DD's presence. I'm glad you're not planning to say anything to her about the child support. And I hope nobody brings up the custody case, either. I hope the only "drama" will be that of seeing the bride and groom exchange their vows, etc. Keep us posted!

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More than likely no parent will be around for their kids' Thanksgiving. We are supposed to go to my daughter's but those plans could change and they all end up here - which is fine with me :-) (and when I say --they all - it could mean maybe 20 ppl w/ my man's crew lol)

ang

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Glad you're so flexible Ang! But i'm curious... Are you already prepared for the "20 ppl?" If not, will you have time to get ready if the plans change to your house?

It's sad that neither DS or his X will be there with the kids for T-Day. But, I suppose, given their erratic visitation patterns, maybe it's for the best...

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As for me, I definitely will be enjoying T'giving with my 2 DGC. As usual, they, their mom (my YDD), DH and I are invited to ODD's and SIL's home for what usually is an awesome T-Day dinner cooked by SIL! (I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!) Then the DGC are coming to spend the weekend with DH and me, which we're really looking forward to! As often as I watch them at their house, it's still something special to have them in my own home for a few days. :)

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Rosered that sounds so nice. I am glad that you have a great relationship with your family. My Thanksgivings and Christmas in the past have been great getting to be with my extended family. I don't get to see them but a few times in the year. I always enjoy being with my brothers, sister and their spouses and nephews. This year we will get to enjoy knowing a stranger that my mother loves. I feel this may be charming. I am happy for my mother to have someone to keep her company.

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Thanks Cobalt! IDK if my relationship with my family is always "great," however. It has its ups and downs, just like with any other family, I guess. (I've written about some of both in this and other groups). But we definitely do seem to enjoy holidays such as T'giving together.

I'm glad that these holidays seem to be good for you, too. And that you seem to be looking forward to meeting your mom's DF (dear fiance). I just hope your GDs will be with you on T'giving and that you'll get to enjoy it together. In fact, I hope you have much to be thankful for, at that time. But I doubt the case will be settled by then, knowing how these court cases can drag out.

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Rosered,

I usually hate dragging out but this could be a good thing. The sherriff's office still hasn't delivered the petition papers yet. Maybe they are going to find the fathers first. I don't know. I am more at peace today. Thanks for both of your prayers. The girls will be at my mother's house even if their mother gets them by then ( which is doubtful) My daughter will be there even though she is going to try to get the kids. She can be ugly talking or texting to me and then nice the next day. She is coming here to my house in a few minutes and eat supper and visit with the kids. She called and asked if she could come. She is going to spend time tomorrow with the girls with my husband( her daddy). It is so stange. She was angry with us this week because she is suppose to be paying child support. She got mad and says she is not going to pay it. Now she seems happy. Her mood swings like this. I don't usually even bring the problems up and then there will be peaceful moments with her.

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I'm always ready for any amount of people - we always over cook and so what doesn't get eaten that day will be frozen or eaten the next several days :-)

Cobaltblue - I hate it for you that things are so 'bouncy' - I know it's terrible not to know from one day to the next how things will be.

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abaronhalt,

Not knowing what is going to happen is something that has always bothered me in any situation in life, so this is really hard for me. What happens with the kids is really important. I wil just have to be patient and trust that God is going to take care of my dear GC. My daughter did come tonight. It was as though nothing happened this week. She was in a great mood. She showed me how to do something on my phone. She spent time with the kids. Watched a Barney and Carebear movie with them, helped them with a bath, and washed their hair. She stayed two hours. Then in a day or so she will be texting ugly things to me if she gets upset about anything. She sounds like a manic depressive person or something. She has mood swings. I would like to have her psychologically tested before there is a decision about getting custody. (If we do go to court.) I don't know if the lawyer and the judge will go along with this or not.

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@ Cobalt - Though you were addressing your last comment to abaronhalt, I want to say that I know what you mean about not liking it when you don't know what's going to happen. I'm the same way. I like to be metally and emotionally prepared for whatever is going to occur next, etc. But, unfortunately, I guess it cant' always be that way.

Your DD's "mood swings" do sound like the possible sign of a disorder. I wish she would get tested, for her own sake, as well as that of the girls. But also, of course, b/c chances are, it would help your case. Whether the judge will insist on it or not, no doubt, is anybody's guess.

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@ New Readers - If you're reading this, why not post? Either in this thread or in another conversation going on in this group. There's a fairly friendly and compassionate bunch of people here. So come on in! :db:

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I was planning on going to my daughter's house for dinner and stopping at my son's house to visit with them -- T-Day is also my birthday. A few days ago I got a call from my SIL about dinner at Granny's. She is 96 and her health is failing and she is asking everyone to come to her house for the holiday. My daughter thinks that she "knows" something and because of her health that she might be thinking this is her last holiday with family. It does have me a little concerned but I am going to try not to concentrate on it while visiting with her for the holiday.

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@homey - I think it's very wise of you not to concentrate on worries about "Granny's" health. After all, maybe she just decided to ask the family to come to her hose for T-Day, "just in case." Or even simply b/c she hasn't done it, perhaps, in a long time and the mood struck her. If "her health is failing," though, is she really able to host T'giving or is it going to be the kind of thing where everybody brings a dish or 2?

Anyhow, it's great that she's lived to 96, so far, and is, I imagine, a GGM (great-grandmother)! And that your GC have a GGM! Is she your mom or DH's?

Meanwhile, Happy Birthday in advance!

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She is actually a great-great-great grandmother. She has less than 5% of her eyesight so she won't be doing any of the cooking. My sister in law is going to her house the night before and getting things done and everyone has been asked to bring a dish. Granny will be 97 Dec 10 and I hope she makes it thru her birthday and one more Christmas with her would be nice. When people get close to 100 you take all the time you get with them and enjoy it while they are still here. My granddaughter will be coming with me to granny's house and granny has not seen her for 10 years so I think she will be pleasantly surprised. I will also get a chance to visit with family that I have not seen in a while.

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homeyfunk,

I hope you have a great Thanksgiving with GGG Grandmother. My grandfather lived a few months past 100. We had a 100 years birthday party for him.

Cobaltblue

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Thank you.

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@ homey - So Granny is a GGGGM! How awesome! And yes, I get what you mean about enjoying whatever time you have when people get close to 100. Have a wonderful time!

@Cobalt - How beautiful that you were able to celebrate your father's 100th b-day with him! I'm sorry that he passed a few months later, but, in a way, I know that makes that last celebration more precious.

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okay, here goes. We will be having Thanksgiving here, me and my two grandkids. Turkey, pumpkin pie and all the traditional dishes! Maybe if we get really lucky Grandpa could come home from the hospital. I plan to hold hands and we can all say what we are thankful for! Who knows how that will go with 13 year olds!

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@ crazy - So sorry to hear that your DH (dear husband) is in the hospital! I, too, hope he'll be home by Thanksgiving! And that he'll enjoy a speedy recovery!

No doubt, it's hard to know what adolescents will go for. But I don't think you have too much to worry about, as long as there's good food on the table! :)

Also, I love the idea of your each saying what you're thankful for! With all the "complaints" teenagers come up with, IMO, it's good for them to think about what's good in their lives. Please be prepared, though, for the possibility that, at this age, the kids may balk at the hand-holding. Especially your GD since you tell us (elsewhere) that she's getting rebellious. Please be prepared, too, for the fact that she might give a sassy response and, of course, don't overreact to it. (Hey, maybe she'll surprise you and say something lovely. That "very sweet" little girl is still "in there," somewhere, IMO.) Have the best day you can and feel free, if you like, to let us know how it goes!

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Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!! :db:

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We are going to my friend Jarred's house to have Thanksgiving with him and his parents. That is always fun and we eat gumbo and turkey and ham and oyster dressing. Very Cajun. They have been friends for years since we moved back to Louisiana and it will be my last Thanksgiving down in this part of the country, so it should be very enjoyable. My daughter would always spend Thanksgiving anywhere but with me, so the only tradition we ever developed was to sometimes go to the park and picnic with a lot of turkey sandwiches. That was fun in its own way and let us enjoy the holiday without stress.

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Thanksgiving, Wedding update:

Thanksgiving went well except for my daughter's text. My DD text me because she got her feelings hurt and misunderstood my mother. I think that is straight now. Other than this Thanksgiving was great as usual. We all brought food to share so my mother would not have to do all the cooking. My mother got married today and the wedding was nice. I got to talk to some of my DM's husbands' family. I got to meet my mother's husband for the first time at Thanksgiving. He seems nice. I enjoyed talking to some of his family today. I hope things will go well for them. It is so different for me to witness my mother getting married and then to someone that I don't even hardly know. I feel he is a good man and he has a good family. She is very active at 81 years of age. Their car window had "Got Hitched at 81 and 87." That is so funny. Yet, I hope this will be wonderful for both of them. I am happy for my mom to get to have someone to be with since my dad died four years ago. She may live to 100 years like her dad.

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@ lethe - Sounds like you were headed to a fun and interesting T'giving! Hope it all was as great as it sounds!

@Cobalt - Thanks for the update! Glad T'giving and the wedding went so well, except for that one little hitch! Congrats to your DM and her new hubby!

My own T-Day was delightful! And then we had the kids at out house for the weekend, which was great, except that I didn't get time for the computer - and when I did I was too tired! But it was happy-tired so that's ok!

Hope everyone else had a great T-Day and holiday weekend, as well! :)

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