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RoseRed135

Are YOU a Longdistance Grandparent?

232 posts in this topic

Hello and Thank You Critter 21

    First my special needs are adopted one is 17 severe autism  dd (2years and younger functioning)  the other is 16 aspergers high functioning 5-8 years in some areas.. very complicated...I also have a bio daughter  27 years and my twins soon  to be 25 years old  one of which is the DS in question here .. I am doing my best to be positive and allow them to make their decsion I LOVE my DIL she was having trouble with the whole decision because of  our relationship she didn't want to hurt me..  I do plan to skype and send things.. Will skype help Lily (5 months)know me when I do visit? it is just going to be so strange not having them bouncing through the door or having my hour drive on a sunday afternoon to go see them.  I and Yeds all prayers are very Welcome!

I personally think it will help the baby remember you she will still hear your voice and get to see you.  My GD knew me I was never a close GM they always lived several hundred miles away Skype is a wonderful thing it can keep families close, and it will allow GS to show you what he is interested in now . 

 

It is admirable that you are raising 2 special needs kids I know how hard it is with just 1 and she is in a wheelchair so can't get into too much trouble.LOL

 

Are any of your other children married?  It sounds like you have a great relationship with your DIL, this will all take a lot of adjusting but I know you want them to be happy.   It will take work on your part to get used to not seeing them every week and it will be hard but when you are around or talking to them it is best to keep a positive attitude.

 

 Were here for you to vent to.

 

Hope things  improve and enjoy the remaining time you have before they move.

 

Hugs, Critter

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I personally think it will help the baby remember you she will still hear your voice and get to see you.  My GD knew me I was never a close GM they always lived several hundred miles away Skype is a wonderful thing it can keep families close, and it will allow GS to show you what he is interested in now . 

 

It is admirable that you are raising 2 special needs kids I know how hard it is with just 1 and she is in a wheelchair so can't get into too much trouble.LOL

 

Are any of your other children married?  It sounds like you have a great relationship with your DIL, this will all take a lot of adjusting but I know you want them to be happy.   It will take work on your part to get used to not seeing them every week and it will be hard but when you are around or talking to them it is best to keep a positive attitude.

 

 Were here for you to vent to.

 

Hope things  improve and enjoy the remaining time you have before they move.

 

Hugs, Critter

Thank You.. I am working very hard to stay positive.. I am a positive person with lots of FAITH to begin with  .however sometime with things  such as this stop me in my tracks for a bit.. My daughter is married  now 8 years . but has infertility issues  still trying.. ..my other son (twin) is still single he is  pursuing his career ..I have had a roller coaster of emotions  one day I can handle it  the next I am in pieces.. having to tell my Mother in law was tough she didnt handle it well either .. I am so Thankful for this site  .. it helps to have support from those who honestly understand .. I am excited  I get to have the kids for a few hours on Monday I can not wait !  God Bless  :give_rose:

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Thank You.. I am working very hard to stay positive.. I am a positive person with lots of FAITH to begin with  .however sometime with things  such as this stop me in my tracks for a bit.. My daughter is married  now 8 years . but has infertility issues  still trying.. ..my other son (twin) is still single he is  pursuing his career ..I have had a roller coaster of emotions  one day I can handle it  the next I am in pieces.. having to tell my Mother in law was tough she didnt handle it well either .. I am so Thankful for this site  .. it helps to have support from those who honestly understand .. I am excited  I get to have the kids for a few hours on Monday I can not wait !  God Bless  :give_rose:

I am glad you are trying to stay positive, and also that you have a lot of faith.  It is understandable that certain things will throw you off track we are only human and not perfect.  It is expected that your emotions will be all over the place some days are worse for me than others and my DS has been gone for 14 years I have never got to spend much time with GD. So I know as close as you have to been to your GK's it is going to be a lot harder for you.  Are you and your MIL close? If so maybe you could help her adjust a little bit.

 

Sorry for your DD it must be hard on her if she wants kids and is having trouble.

 

It does help to have a sight where other people are going through the same things, because you can say you understand but until you live it you can't really understand, you (general) can sympathize but until you actually live it you don't know how someone feels.  And even on here although we have similar stories they are still all a little different.

 

Have fun Monday with those GK's treasure every minute as I know you will.

 

Hugs Critter

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@ LLLx3 - Another welcome! And my heart goes out to you! I understand that this change makes you "feel like a death happened." It's the loss of a certain level of the relationship, I think, that you're feeling. But, like critter, I'm glad you're trying to stay positive and supportive and that your faith is helping to get you through.

 

Meanwhile, I'm also sorry to hear about your DD's fertility issues. I hope and pray that they will soon be resolved. My heart goes out to her, too.

 

Bless you for having adopted those 2 special needs children! They are so fortunate that you did!

 

And though I'm not a LDGP, myself, I see that a lot of LDGPs on these boards "swear by" Skyping. As the kids get older, if you're so inclined, you can send them one or more of those recordable storybooks so that the 5-yr-old will remember your voice and the baby may get to know it b4 she even meets you. That is, if the parents are ok with that and it sounds as if they will be.

 

For now, I just hope you make the most of having the kids on Monday. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours...

 

@ Grammy - Hi again! I spoke to you, elsewhere, but didn't know your full story till now. I'm sorry  that your disabilities have made it difficult to continue to travel around and see all your GC, near and far. I know that must be frustrating since you so love being a GM and were so used to going on the road - even driving a truck! Like Critter, I don't know how anyone does it! But I'm glad you live close to some of your family and that you will get to stay with DD (dear daughter) in October and meet your new GC.

 

Is that the same DD with the 7-yr-old? Then you'll be able to get in some time with that GC, as well. And, generally speaking, if they don't have the Internet, you can still keep in touch in other ways, including gifts, cards and the recordable books I mentioned to LLL, earlier in this post. I'm not a LDGP, myself, but I feel for you. And hopefully, more LDGPs will weigh in here with ideas for both you and LLL.. My thoughts and prayers (if ok) are with you, also.

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I am a new member to this website.  I live in Texas and my S, DIL and GS (2 1/2 years) and GD (1 month) live in Florida.  My husband and I try to see them every 2-3 months, but it really is not enough.  We either fly to see them or help pay their way here.   I grew up with my loving Grandmother just 2 miles away and I saw her about 2-3 times a week.  She was the most special part of my childhood.  I want to be the loving Grandmother she was to me to my GC on a consistent basis.  It KILLS ME not to see them often and get a good account of what they are doing, how they have progressed, etc.  There is a difference for grandparents who have to deal with their DIL (more so than SIL) because the DIL runs the roost so to speak and there is that fine line that you always have to walk to not step on anybody's toes.  My DIL and I get along fine (she calls me a great MIL), but I am still not her mother.  When my GD was born a month ago, my DIL's mother had all sorts of access to helping decorate the nursery.  I was never even asked if I would like to do anything.  It is not that I do not do anything.  I spent hundreds of dollars on new clothes for the GD for up to the age of 1 year, but the mother of the daughter usually has more access and "hands-on" with the GC than the mother of the son.  So, I am working on a project for the GD's room and will be sending it next week.  I hope it is accepted.  My DIL's mother has been at my son's house for a month (she lives out of town also) and will not go back home until next week!  I was never asked if I would like to stay awhile or even come back during the summer for a week or so.  I don't think my S and DIL are doing this deliberately but I think they are clueless.  I don't think they have stopped to put themselves in my shoes.

 

We skype every 2 weeks, but really haven't done so since my DIL's mother is still there.

 

It is tough to be away from them. I cry each time I have to leave them and am headed for the airport.

 

Can anybody give me some tips on easing the hurt and try to get more access? 

 

Thanks.

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Welcome standerson.

 

I am not a long distance grandparent, but my parents were.  They had six families spread out over Texas and Florida and they managed to visit us all.  I'm sure they always felt that it wasn't enough either.  Even though my kids didn't see my parents but a couple times a year at most, they had a better relationship with them than they had with my MIL who lived five miles away.

 

I think we all have to try to make the most of the situation we find ourselves in, whether it is a matter of physical or emotional distance.

 

Some of us have family living less than 30 minutes away, but who have emotionally distanced themselves from us.

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I am a new member to this website.  I live in Texas and my S, DIL and GS (2 1/2 years) and GD (1 month) live in Florida.  My husband and I try to see them every 2-3 months, but it really is not enough.  We either fly to see them or help pay their way here.   I grew up with my loving Grandmother just 2 miles away and I saw her about 2-3 times a week.  She was the most special part of my childhood.  I want to be the loving Grandmother she was to me to my GC on a consistent basis.  It KILLS ME not to see them often and get a good account of what they are doing, how they have progressed, etc.  There is a difference for grandparents who have to deal with their DIL (more so than SIL) because the DIL runs the roost so to speak and there is that fine line that you always have to walk to not step on anybody's toes.  My DIL and I get along fine (she calls me a great MIL), but I am still not her mother.  When my GD was born a month ago, my DIL's mother had all sorts of access to helping decorate the nursery.  I was never even asked if I would like to do anything.  It is not that I do not do anything.  I spent hundreds of dollars on new clothes for the GD for up to the age of 1 year, but the mother of the daughter usually has more access and "hands-on" with the GC than the mother of the son.  So, I am working on a project for the GD's room and will be sending it next week.  I hope it is accepted.  My DIL's mother has been at my son's house for a month (she lives out of town also) and will not go back home until next week!  I was never asked if I would like to stay awhile or even come back during the summer for a week or so.  I don't think my S and DIL are doing this deliberately but I think they are clueless.  I don't think they have stopped to put themselves in my shoes.

 

We skype every 2 weeks, but really haven't done so since my DIL's mother is still there.

 

It is tough to be away from them. I cry each time I have to leave them and am headed for the airport.

 

Can anybody give me some tips on easing the hurt and try to get more access? 

 

Thanks.

Welcome standerson, glad you found this website. I am the Moderator of this forum and I have a long distant GD who is 71/2 she has always lived away from me I only see her maybe once a year I just got back from seeing her for the first time in about 16 months.  It was like I had seen her yesterday she took right up and was as friendly as ever.

 

I know it is hard when the DIL's DM gets more time than you do but it really doesn't help to dwell on what she gets try to be positive about what you get and don't compare, that always makes us feel  bad.

 

Times have changed from when we were young the AC now sometimes have to move away from their families just to keep a job or to further their career, that doesn't mean you still can't be close to the GC as they grow up, it is a little harder now while they are so little but they will grow.

 

It is good to Skype and some Grandparents but those recordable childrens books and read the story so the child hears your voice. I send my GD little notes and gifts to let her know that I am thinking of her.

 

Hopefully some more LDG's will come in with more suggestions.

 

Hang in there and come here to vent we are happy to listen and if you like will try to help.

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I am a new member to this website.  I live in Texas and my S, DIL and GS (2 1/2 years) and GD (1 month) live in Florida.  My husband and I try to see them every 2-3 months, but it really is not enough.  We either fly to see them or help pay their way here.   I grew up with my loving Grandmother just 2 miles away and I saw her about 2-3 times a week.  She was the most special part of my childhood.  I want to be the loving Grandmother she was to me to my GC on a consistent basis.  It KILLS ME not to see them often and get a good account of what they are doing, how they have progressed, etc.  There is a difference for grandparents who have to deal with their DIL (more so than SIL) because the DIL runs the roost so to speak and there is that fine line that you always have to walk to not step on anybody's toes.  My DIL and I get along fine (she calls me a great MIL), but I am still not her mother.  When my GD was born a month ago, my DIL's mother had all sorts of access to helping decorate the nursery.  I was never even asked if I would like to do anything.  It is not that I do not do anything.  I spent hundreds of dollars on new clothes for the GD for up to the age of 1 year, but the mother of the daughter usually has more access and "hands-on" with the GC than the mother of the son.  So, I am working on a project for the GD's room and will be sending it next week.  I hope it is accepted.  My DIL's mother has been at my son's house for a month (she lives out of town also) and will not go back home until next week!  I was never asked if I would like to stay awhile or even come back during the summer for a week or so.  I don't think my S and DIL are doing this deliberately but I think they are clueless.  I don't think they have stopped to put themselves in my shoes.

 

We skype every 2 weeks, but really haven't done so since my DIL's mother is still there.

 

It is tough to be away from them. I cry each time I have to leave them and am headed for the airport.

 

Can anybody give me some tips on easing the hurt and try to get more access? 

 

Thanks.

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Hi standerson! I'm glad you brought your concerns here and I'm so sorry you're feeling left out and unfairly treated. I think critter gave you some excellent advice, though,  about "easing the hurt," and increasing contact, etc., and I hope it helps.

 

I'm not a LDGP, myself, so I've been holding back, but there are a couple of things in your post that I don't understand. You say, for example, that you and DH see your S and family, about every '2-3 months" and I get that this this doesn't feel like "enough" to you. But you also say you were "never asked if (you) would like to stay a while," etc. Can you clarify?

 

Also, I know you miss the skyping and it may not help if I say it has probably lessened b/c they're busy with DIL's mom. But, IMO, it's probably better this way. Would you really want to see the MGM (maternal grandmother) holding and playing with GS? Or have her joining in the conversation? Chances are, DS and DIL feel it's better for all if they cut the skyping for now. As soon as the month is over, no doubt,it will pick up again. Maybe that doesn't "ease the hurt" but I hope it does.

 

Other than adding to the ways you contact GS, though, such as the suggestions critter made,  I don't think it;s wise to "try to get more access," if by that you mean try to convince the parents to skype more often or arrange for more or longer visits. That will, likely, just feel like pressure to them.  Please resist any temptation to push for more time. It might backfire.

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Standerson you sound like a great grandmother. :db:  Whether on the daughter or son's side, I recall you said they were clueless.  It is up to you to let them know that you would like more time.  Also, ask if you could stay?  Just be prepared for the answer whether yes or no. sounds like this is more of what you want: the time with them.  That is nothing wrong with that.  Also, you might consider mailing care packages to your grandchildren.  Those will make lasting impressions to them. It is nice you are working on a project for granddaughter's bedroom, but since they are not your children, it would be courteous to ask their parents first.   Rather than doing it and then sending it.   Sometimes the way that we do or say things will make the difference. Also, keep in mind after you ask the answer could be no, but remember ask first. 

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Hi

I'm a long distance Grandparent to be.  I live in Australia and my DD and SIL live in North Carolina.  I have dreamed for a long time of having grandchildren but never imagined they would be so far away from me.  

I really want to make the distance seem smaller but making sure I am included in their life as much as I can.  My DD and SIL will make sure of it too but looking for ideas on how to make the miles between us not so hard.

Any ideas on how to help my grandchildren know me when I will only get to see them once a year.....

Thanks.

 

 

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Hi

I'm a long distance Grandparent to be.  I live in Australia and my DD and SIL live in North Carolina.  I have dreamed for a long time of having grandchildren but never imagined they would be so far away from me.  

I really want to make the distance seem smaller but making sure I am included in their life as much as I can.  My DD and SIL will make sure of it too but looking for ideas on how to make the miles between us not so hard.

Any ideas on how to help my grandchildren know me when I will only get to see them once a year.....

Thanks.

Hi squizta, glad to see you got your name changed.

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My daughter has lived in 3 different countries and 8 different states in the last 10 years. Which means lots of travel for me to see the grandkids, which I love. I wish I could see them more than 2 times a year, which is the norm, but in lieu of that, we Skype once a week, and this is a godsend. The grandkids get to know me as a familiar figure in their .

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Welcome Jeffheys, sounds like you are a very involved GF(grandfather).

Does your DD move for her job or for her DH's job or are they in the military?

How many GK's do you have?  Are the 5 year olds twins?

I am always sending my GD little things in the mail she really looks forward to the mailman coming.

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My daughter has lived in 3 different countries and 8 different states in the last 10 years. Which means lots of travel for me to see the grandkids, which I love. I wish I could see them more than 2 times a year, which is the norm, but in lieu of that, we Skype once a week, and this is a godsend. The grandkids get to know me as a familiar figure in their .

I have sent you a PM you can find it at the right side top of page where the envelope is you should see a red 1

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I am about to be a LDGP. My daughter uses our granddaughter as a bargaining tool to gain control of us when she feels like we need it. She has done this to us since the birth of the child. I raised our granddaughter for 2 and a half years, when her mother lived just 5 minutes from us. She worked 2nd shift and off on weekends but didn't come and get her on the weekends. Then she left the babys father for another man. He couldnt take care of the child so he left her with us and was gone 6 years. My daughter continued the relationship with the man she left him for and it resulted in another child. Now 11 years later, our granddaughter has grown quite close to us and is very secure when she is with us. Her uncles are more like her big brothers. Her mother has joined the military reserve duty and goes away 1 weekend a month. Right now, she still just lives 5 minutes from us. She goes home with her mother on the weekends and the way that her regular job schedule is, I have the children 3 days a week. When my granddaughter goes home for the night, she calls us 15 times during the night, which is perfectly fine with us. Its quite clear that she is not happy with her mother. My granddaughter and I have this very special bond like no other. So, now, my daughter just met this man, in Dec. of 2012 whom is active duty serving in the U.S army over in afghanstan. We know nothing about this man but his first name and she refuses to tell us anymore about him. We do know, he lives in washington State which is 3000 miles away from where we live. She just informed us in May, that they are getting married this spring and she is planning to take the children to live in Washington State, with this man, that we know nothing about. When our granddaughter was an infant, we documented everything that happened with our daughter and our grand daughters dad, which resulted in 5 pages. Probably would have been more, but we just stopped doing it. She and I took the child to the doctor for her well baby examine, immunization shots etc....The doctor ask the mother how the child was eating and sleeping, what she liked to eat? My daughter looked at me because she didn't know. I knew every answer to all his questions. She didn't know when her daughter started walking or when she cut her first tooth, or when she said her first word, which was NA NA NA (Nana). The dad just came back into the picture at my doing, 3 years ago. He does have court ordered visitation rights but doesnt see her that much. In February of 2012, we were informed by my daughter (last minute details)that she would be leaving for 2 months to go out of state for more training for the military. That 2 months turned into 4 months. I informed her before she left, that she would need to contact my grandsons dad to help with the care of him, because I didnt think I could care for both children, the length of time we thought she was to be gone. He had him for 1 month, and then I had both for the duration. Because "He was going through something" his girlfriend left him and he had no one to help with the care of his son"

My daughter did come home on the weekend and took my grandson. She left him with a daughter of a woman she worked with. She never met this woman,but for 30 minutes. Because I said I could not take care of both children, she was mad and did this. At the time, I knew nothing about his whereabouts. On a Sunday afternoon several weeks later, I received a call from this woman explaining who she was, and then she said "Does anyone care about this child? I told her my side of the story. Come to find out, My daughter pretty much dropped him off at her house, after a very brief meeting with these people who were to have him for 2-4 months, who she did not know anything about, did not bother to call him for 8 days straight, really showed no concern for the child at all. This woman told me, that her and her husband were foster parents to several children, but were also looking to adopt another child. RED FLAG! I immediately contacted my daughter and explained my fears. She really showed no concern whatsoever. My husband and I had a very hard time trying to get our grandson back, but we did. I know, that these people were so concerned about his wellbeing, they were just about ready to take him. So, My daughter is planning to take my grandchildren away 3000 miles. If she cannot care for them living 5 minutes from me, what is going to happen to them, 3000 miles away. Our thoughts are, try to get the bio dad of our granddaughter to relinquish his rights over to us so we will have joint custody of our granddaughter and have a say in where she goes. The grandsons dad, just dont care one way or another. And my daughter shows a big difference between her daughter and son. FAVORITISM. She is settled with us, and it is obvious she is very happy with us. At 11 years old, she is the babysitter of her little brother. Any thoughts anyone? Do you think it would be possible for us to get temporary custody of the child?

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Welcome BNanners2013, I am the moderator in this group. 

Glad you found this sight. We have a mixture of MIL' & DIL's post on this sight.

My heart goes out to you, I am not sure about the custody but a lot of posters have had these problems maybe they will have some advice for you.  There is also another forum called Grandparents without grandchildren you might want to look at that also and post in there.

I will keep you in my prayers (if that is ok), hope you get some good advice.

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BNanners,

i would get a lawyer and talk to him about getting custody.  My daughter left her daughter with a person that she worked with.She didn't even go and see her child.  I found this out and got emergency custody that day.  I knew  a person that went to church with me and he was over juvenile delinquents.  His office was in the room next to the courtroom.  Then we went to court.  The granddaughters ended up with me because my daughter did not have a home and also she had physically abused my GD.  I didn't have a lawyer.  I was told by the assigned children's lawyer that she would take care of things and I didn't need one. So I didn't get one and that was a big mistake on my part.  We went to court and my daughter had a lawyer, the father had a lawyer and I didn't.  The children's lawyer didn't even show up until everything was already over.Several days before court  I had called her office several times and visited her office and I never got to talk to her after the time she said that she would take care of everything.  I had showed her abuse papers and told her about possible drugs in the house that my daughter had stayed in.   It ended up that the girls stayed at my house and the father got joint custody with my daughter but the granddaughters were to stay at my house.  My daughter couldn't take the girls with her. I didn't have custody.  The girls lived with me for two years without my DH and I having custody.  You need custody if you are going to care for your grandchildren.   If I hadn't have had the father's lawyer it would not have worked out as well. I also couldn't take the girls to a doctor that didn't know my DH and I. So get a lawyer.  Tell him/her  the situation.  See if the lawyer can help you. You may be able to get an appointed lawyer it depends on your income.  The next time we went to court to get custody we had a lawyer.  We got custody but our daughter let us have them because she did not have a place for them.  If I had a lawyer in the first place I might not have had to go through all the things I went through.  The father is out of the picture due to mental health issues.  My daughter is wanting custody now. She does have them this summer due to court order.  We go back to court in October.  We have a new GAL due to the past one has ill health.  I hope he will see what is best for the granddaughters. 

 

So I would find a family lawyer.  If you don't have the money, go to the court house and talk to someone about petitioning for custody.  If you do have the money I would get myself a lawyer of your choosing.  Find out who does a good job getting custody for their clients.  The court will assign a children's lawyer.  (GAL - Guardian ad-litem).  They should investigate the situation. Hopefully he/she will be better than the first one I had.  The GAL will provide information to the judge about his findings. They may come to your house and talk to you and visit your daughter's house.  They could go to school or daycare and talk to the people that work there.   A decision will be made who will have custody of the grandchildren. You need a lawyer to represent you to the GAL and to the judge.  The father and mother will be called to court also.  They will probably have a lawyer also. 

 

You need to do what you can to help your grandchildren.  You may have to prove that she is not able to take good care of  her children.  I would write up as much as you can of the history of your daughter and her involvement with her children.  I would write down any information that shows how she hasn't taken care of her daughter and the time period that you have been keeping the granddaughter.  Then explain how you ended up with the grandson.

 

I do wish you the best in helping your grandchildren.  Let me know what happens. 

 

I usually don't come into this forum.  I do go into Unplugged and Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.

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Thank you Cobalt for offering BNanners the wisdom of your experience, and I hope everything goes ok for you in Oct.

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Thanks Critter.  I hope it helps.  I feel for BNanners.

 

BNanners,

I will be looking for your posts.  You can send me a PM ( personal message) if you want to do so.  Go to my name and click on it and my profile will come up and you can click "send me a message" and then you can write a message to me if you desire.

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Yes I am a long distance Grandparent and it works out pretty well. We make 2 or 3 trips

to see them for a couple of weeks. We watch them when their parents work so we have

truly bonded. They are now old enough that they come here once a year to see us.

In between we facetime and also every Monday I send a letter or package to each of them

The advantages are that as we are older we can take care of our medical needs better without

feeling guilty if we had ongoing babysitting responsibilities. The disadvantage is that the other

Grandma watches them several days a week and while I am happy that they have someone

that loves them watch them she gets to be an almost daily presence in their lives which I wish

we had too. But I am looking at the positives.

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Yes I am a long distance Grandparent and it works out pretty well. We make 2 or 3 trips

to see them for a couple of weeks. We watch them when their parents work so we have

truly bonded. They are now old enough that they come here once a year to see us.

In between we facetime and also every Monday I send a letter or package to each of them

The advantages are that as we are older we can take care of our medical needs better without

feeling guilty if we had ongoing babysitting responsibilities. The disadvantage is that the other

Grandma watches them several days a week and while I am happy that they have someone

that loves them watch them she gets to be an almost daily presence in their lives which I wish

we had too. But I am looking at the positives.

Welcome whitehairedgranny, love your name my MIL(mother-in-law) said she didn't care what our kids called her as long as it wasn't granny. lol

 

It sounds like you are doing great with your GC(grand Children).  How many do you have?  I have one GD who is 8 and has always lived far away.

I am always sending her something or cards and I recorded a book for her to listen to. 

 

Glad you are looking at the positives,  Maybe you can help others who come on here with ideas to stay in touch with their GC. 

 

Critter

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Thanks Critter21. I have two grandaughters. One is five and one is two. Since we were retired when they were born we

decided not to run out to see them immediately but wait 2 weeks until my son-in-law went back to work after his

paternity leave. This way he and my daughter had some bonding time. Then we were able to fill in for him as my

daughter recovered. Then later when my daughter went back to work we actually spent a month each time to ease the tran

sition. As a general rule we do not accompany them on vacations such as to DisneyWorld as all that walking is too

much for us but when they visit us we bring them to the pool or splash park as we can handle that.

My best advice is if your child has face time capabilities on their phone buy a face time capable phone even though

they are expensive. It is even better than skype as you can walk around the house showing them things and they can

show you things in their lives too.

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Whitehairedgranny, 2 granddaughters and what fun ages.  I waited 3 weeks before I went to see my GD then I could only go for 3 days then my Husband went out for 3 days about 2 weeks later.

 

We used to skype when GD was younger and she would bring me her toys and try to hand them to me through the screen. I am so thankful they have that kind of technology now.  Since they have moved they haven't set up yet to skype so we haven't done that for a while.  I am always sending them packages my DIL says she eagerly waits for the mailman.  I sent my Son a package he got it yesterday and told her there was a package she looked at it and said it's for you but he let her open it anyway. It was a picture frame with his and her kindergarten pictures in it they have the same smile on their faces it is really cute.  He loved it.

 

I know what you mean about a lot of walking I have arthritis in my knees and it hurts to walk very far.  I visited them in June and there is so much to do where they live I wish I could do more walking.

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Hi again, WHG! I love your idea of looking at the positives! You and DH (dear husband) sound like delightful GPs!

 

@ critter - Love the "matching" pictures! What a charming idea!

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