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RoseRed135

Any SINGLE Grandparents Here?

102 posts in this topic

Hello migrant7. I got tired just reading about your busy life. I can understand when you say you were relieved to be able to speak your mind. I have been there and it is frustrating for a person like me who has always been straight with anyone I talked to and now I am supposed to filter everything I say. I love reading about what other grandparents are involved in with their grandchildren. Thanks for sharing. Let us know how preschool works out and I am glad you will be getting some time to breathe. I know what it means to need that time for yourself. 

Please feel free to keep us updated on your busy life. Looking forward to hearing from you in the future.

Edited by homeygfunk
to correct spelling error

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Whew! I got tired reading that, too, migrant! You must be a very strong, energetic woman! I'm glad GD will soon be in preschool, though, to give you that "time to breathe." I know your time will still be "very constricted" but, if it helps at all, please remember that, soon enough, she'll be in fulltime school and you'll have a lot more time on your hands (that you may find you don't know what to do with, at first). It may seem a long way off now, but, believe me, it comes quickly.

 

I hear you, also, about having to shift gears when the parents are there and having to be "careful" of what you (general) say when you're used to speaking your mind. No doubt, it takes a lot of strength, on your part, esp, since you're so deeply involved in the situation, of necessity. Best of luck!

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Heh Friends, I was in this group before but when they changed the site, I thought this all disappeared What a nice surprise to be back. I'm previously divorced and then remarried and became a widow 6 yrs ago. It was tough at first but now I really enjoy being single. I can come and go as I please. It gets lonely at times but I deal. I have a good relationship with my 1st husband who is the father of our children. Being with my Grands are the best times but don't happen as often as I'd like. Distance and work schedules are the main reason. Looking forward to reading more posts.

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Welcome back, BestBaba. This site is much better since the changes. There are a lot of good people here. I am sure if you keep in touch you will find many new friends here.

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Hi my name is Joann, I am a single grandmother practicing the grandparent visitation rights , and family is important to me. I am not dating anyone  family first. Nice to see this area!

Edited by homeygfunk
remove identifying info

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Hello, GrandNonna. Welcome to the GP.com forum. I am homeygfunk, the moderator of this group. Tell us more about yourself. How many grandkids? Any special plans for the holidays this year? I am sure you will find friends here that share your situation. Being a single parent is hard enough without having to be a single grandparent as well. Let us know how things go for you with the visitation.

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I'm sorry to ask this but is this sorta a dating website? Newbie's post has me wondering.

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I'm sorry to ask this but is this sorta a dating website? Newbie's post has me wondering.

 

This is a grandparent website. The forums here have many different groups because there are different things members come here to discuss. This group is for grandparents who find themselves single later in life for whatever reason and they come here to discuss how this affects their life or to find new friends. Sometimes the death of a spouse is the reason for being single and coming here to talk about it can take away some of the sadness that comes with being alone. Being a single grandparent can be difficult at times especially if you have custody of grandchildren.

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Hi nancumb,

I understand that you feel over whelmed with going through an end to your marriage.  I had the same experience seven yrs ago after a 46 yr relationship/marriage.  YOU WILL BE OK!!  Focus on the positive things in life, talk to a counselor(who you can vent to without judgment).  Use this time to actually figure out who you are as a single intelligent human being, love your kids and grandkids and be happy.  If you give yourself permission to be you then you just might find out strong you are.  I did and am totally happy with my life today.  

 

Good luck and look at each day in a positive light.  You can do this.

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Hello Gabbi53 and welcome to the forum. I think you have given great advice here. After 46 years in a relationship it must be so different to be single. Glad to see it is working out for you.

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HOWDY TO ALL I AM NEW TO THIS SITE SO FORGIVE ME IF I DON'T KNOW MY WAY AROUND AS OF YET . ABOUT MY SELF I'AM RETIRED AND HAVE A GOOD RETIREMENT PKG ,AS FAR AS IM CONCERED . WOULD LIKE TO FIND A FRIEND TO PAL AROUND WITH . LET THE REST TAKE ITS COURSE . I LIKE TO DANCE ,DON'T DRINK , WOULD LIKE TO MEET SOMEONE NEAR ME THAT LIKE TO GO R/VING . LET'S JUST START WITH THAT FOR NOW.

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Hello, Miklman2 and welcome to the forum. I am homeygfunk and I am the moderator for this group. Sounds like you are a busy person. Do you have any grandchildren? Tell us about them if you do.

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This was an interesting topic.. reading some of your experiences guys... Though I'm not single. 

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Welcome, MargStone. I see you have been reading about the experiences of being single late in life. How is any of these experiences different from yours? Do you find that we are all still having similar things going on?

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Hi all! I'm new to this site & this topic caught my attention - but there don't seem to be any recent posts. Perhaps I can't see them yet? I hope that's the case, because being a single grandparent is a challenge for me. I'd love to learn from & share with others in similar circumstance.

My grandsons live in another state, and my SIL's parents lived 5 minutes away so I was the "visiting" grandmother until recently. Seeing them a few times a year and keeping in touch by phone was okay. Not that I wouldn't love being closeby but that just wasn't the way it worked out. In less than a year, both of my SIL's parents passed away so I suddenly found myself to be the only grandparent. I have to tell you this is a little daunting for me, because I do believe that grandparents are a unique anchor for children.

As the only grandparent, I'm trying to cover all the bases. For example, this past December when the twins asked if I would come to their holiday show (you know, the little performance they do at school), I drove the 400 miles to be there. Since I had just been there at Thanksgiving, this was quick to make the trip again. But I did, and stayed through the holidays. We had a great time!:) The other grandparents, being so closeby, were there for all holidays & had always attended the school programs while I made the trip for their fall birthday and spring break. Now I feel like I need to do it all, so the boys won't have an empty seat where a grandparent would've been. Whew... feel like I'm starting off with a novella lol. 

Anyway, I'm Nina (9-uh) and glad I found the site. My grandsons are identical twins - in appearance only - and are 7 yrs old.  

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Welcome, IceLadi! Glad you came in to talk w/ us! The Lead Moderator of this forum is homeygfunk, but she's not here, right now.

So sorry about the passing of your GS' other GPs! But how beautiful of you to try to fill the void! And I know it must mean a lot for the twins to have you there since they invited you to their holiday show. Bless you for being willing to make the trip for them! And how wonderful that you got to stay for the holidays and that everyone "had a great time!"

I understand your feeling that you "need to do it all" now. I'm not sure you really do though, as much as your GSs may like to have you there.  Perhaps there is another relative or 2 nearer by who can take that "empty seat," for some events? I can see your stepping up your number of visits. And so far, you seem to be enjoying it, which, of course, is good. But please don't do more than you can do w/ a glad heart.

It may help to do some of the things many other LDGPs (long distance grandparents) do, such as Skyping and FaceTime. That way you can give more time to your GSs w/o always having to make that long trip too often... Food for thought... In fact, you may want to check out the Grandparenting from Afar forum for more ideas on how to be "close" to GC from a distance: http://community.grandparents.com/index.php?/forum/14-grandparenting-from-afar/

If there aren't any recent posts in this conversation thread, that's probably b/c it's an old one. In fact, we generally ask members not to post in a thread that's more than 3 months old, unless they're the OP (original poster). But this thread was intended to be ongoing, so it's ok. Still, you might want to check out a more recent single GP thread, such as this one:

 

Regardless, hope we hear from you again soon! :)

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Welcome IceLadi. I am homeygfunk and I am glad to hear from you. You sound like a busy grandmother. I will be in and out as my daughter just had a baby and I will be helping her with all that she needs at this time. Feel free to post as there will be someone here when I am not to respond to your posts.

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Hi! Everyone. Rose here, mother of three grown kids and four grandkids. Divorced, was married twenty years. Looking forward to chatting with you all. 

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Welcome, Rosegreen. I am homeygfunk, the moderator for this group. Looking forward to talking to you more.

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homeygfunk,

 

Thanks for the welcome. Looking forward to chatting with you too.

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Hello again, rosegreen. Just curious -- what brought you to this forum?

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Good evening,  My name is Marlette, born and raised in small town in California.  I'm soon to be 48, and became the guardian of my Grand daughter a year and a half ago.  She is now two. I have three grown children... two of which still live with me (25 & 21), the one that doesn't is the father (23) to my Granddaughter.  I have been divorced for 19 years, have had some dates... but not willing to settle, and my kids come first.

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Welcome, Nonnie48. Looks like you have a busy life. I don't blame you for not being willing to settle. It's good you have become the guardian for your granddaughter. She is fortunate to have you in her life. I see you have some grown children still living wth you. Have you checked out the forum Empty Nest No Longer? You might find it interesting. 

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Hey I am Pat from Georgia.  I am 69 years old widowed once and divorced once.  I am raising (at one time 5 down to two) grandkids.  I have had them for 7 years.  I was married at the time but he said me or the kids.  Well I had known the kids longer then him and really liked them more so it was a simple choice.  lol   As far as the dating thing don't feel I have much left to give.  My only child was killed after her (the dad) killed himself and she become depended on drugs and drinking.  There was a fire and turns out she was in the trailer it then took 3 months to ID her and we were able to have a funeral.  Most of the times (after 7 years) I do ok my kids are great but at times I think what am I doing here.  I am suspose to be on a bus seeing America with old folks.  So glad to fine this site and be able to talk to others.

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Welcome Patshep. I am homeygfunk. What a choice that he made you have to make! The kids need you so I am glad you choose them although I am sad that he put you in a position to have to make that choice. Many grandparents are raising their grandkids and you may find some here that you can talk to. There is the Empty Nest No Longer group and Grandparents Caring for Grandkids where you will find a lot of advice and similar situations to yours. I hope you look around the forum and find something interesting and I hope you come in to talk with us some more. 

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